I think your assessment is spot on. I divorced a couple of years back after almost 20 years of marriage. I was in love; she wasn’t – right from the start. I found out from her pre-marriage roommate that she had confessed she didn’t love me right before the marriage, but married me anyway. And the marriage was awful (of course, it was my fault for not being able to make her love me.)

But a big part of me wanted to find a way to go back and do it over again, only this time do it right. The reality is that you have to get past that if you ever want to find happiness. I noticed that when I finally started dating again, I was picking out women who had some of the hang-ups my exwife had. So there was something in me that needed to change before I got involved seriously with anyone again.