I think that finding a man with a cell phone taped to a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in his bag is really a rather ambigious situation under the law.

I think the next time a security screener finds this situation, the screen should hold up the line and bring the man to the front of the crowd.

“Can I have everyone’s attention. You all know that we security screeners make your life unpleasant, making you take off your shoes, make you wait in line, scold you, and confiscate tiny amounts of toiletries from your bag.

Thing is, this man was found with this, a bottle of Pepto-Bismol with a cell phone taped to it. He doesn’t have anything dangerous on him. I just thought I would ask all of you what we should do with this man. Should we give him a good scolding and let him join you on your flight? Or do you have some other suggestions.”

Isn’t this called the Wisdom of Crowds or some such thing?