Certainly the president should get rid of General Pacenik and replace him with the reincarnation of General Patton. I also wish he would get rid of the acronym GWOT. It’s smacks of flaccidity and rhymes with squat. How about a more robust acronym, WHAC (War Havoc And Chaos). It is indeed time to WHAC the Islamofascists, don’t you agree, ML? After all, the barbarians are at the gate, and they will soon come soon come crashing through our doors and windows, all the while brandishing their scimitars to saw off our heads and those of our children. We must kill them first, and bombing Iran is simply not enough. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Everyone knows Ahmadinejad is making those IEDs and nukes in his basement. We therefore need to bomb and invade Iran as well as Syria, but of course the resources we have at hand are inadequate to the task.

So it is now time to do more than just mouth platitudes about supporting our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. We need to JOIN our troops in their struggle. Let’s stop nibbling around the edges of this war and jump in with both feet. An immediate return to the draft is therefore required. All men and women ages 18 to 75 need to be called up. Don’t bore me with objections about 50, 60, and 70 year olds being too old for this fight. After all, 50 is the new 30, and so on. Just think of the thousands of Blowflex-yanking, jogging geezers that could be mobilized. Absolutely no deferments or exceptions, medical or otherwise should be allowed. Those found totally unfit for the rigors of combat can be organized into labor brigades to work in the munitions and weapons plants. Our nation of 300 million people should easily be able to field 30 million or so trained and battle ready combat troops. We won’t have any allies, but who needs a bunch of surrender monkeys anyway?

Of course people will have to be yanked out of their gas guzzling cars and SUVs. Food will have to be rationed , pay cuts taken, and all manufacturing that has not been left to the Chinese will have to be devoted to strict production of military hardware and supplies for our troops. NO MORE SELF INDULGENCE FOLKS, THIS IS WAR! And speaking of the Chicoms, if they or the Ruskis object to our righteous crusade against the Islamofacists, then we shall WHAC them, too. That’s right, just nuke them and let God sort out the mess. We are the world’s only superpower, and we had darn well better start acting like it. If the United States even suspects that some lousy little country might even have the idea of manufacturing a nuke (or giving it to a terrorist), we have the right, indeed we have the duty to WHAC the bejasus out of it at any time and from time to time as we see fit. To Tehran and beyond!