Iran is a free and democratic country if you are not one of the following:

1. An editor of a newspaper who writes anything critical about the regime. He gets jailed and his newspaper closed off.

2. A Canadian journalist taking photos in Iran. She gets jailed and her skull gets crushed (that hurts).

3. A pregnant woman working in a barber shop. She gets accused of adultery and meets the firing squad the next morning.

4. Anyone deemed not dressed modestly. He/She gets jailed and possibly beaten.

5. A gay person. Well, he just gets shot. Oh, sorry Ahmadinejad said they don’t have gays in Iran. Must have had already killed them all before his speech.

6. A candidate for the presidency or parliament not approved by the Guardian Counsel. He just gets disqualified to run. Doesn’t get shot or anything.

7. A boy and a girl having launch together. They used to get arrested. I think as long as they don’t hold hand these days they are probably ok.

8. A woman accused of having sex with a man she is not married to. She gets barried in the ground up to her chest and stoned to death. Ironically, a murderer just gets hanged. So, it is more evil to have sex than to kill an innocent person.

9. A woman without a veil. Gets arrested and beaten. It is just not fun without some torture.

10. Born into a Bahai’s faith. They used to gets killed by regime mobs. These days they just get kicked out of school and work place.

11. Anyone daring to organize a demonstration against the regime. One or all of the above!

12. Anyone who is executed but later found innocent. He is proclaimed to be a “Shahid” and moved to the special grave for “Shahids.”

But if you are wealthy enough to afford living there, and are not one of the above, the regime is a great one.