I believe in being as fearless as General George Patton and as Machiavellian as Cruella De Vil when it comes to fighting for or against something. I don’t accept defeat. I believe in getting back up, becoming aggressive, and overthrowing the opposition and winning.
Patton became America’s toughest military general because he was fearless against Nazism. Cruella De Vil is Disney’s clever, classy villain, who crushes her adversaries like smoked cigarettes on dirty sidewalks. Both taught me more about politics than my years studying Political Science.
For one thing, compassionate conservatism is a complete waste of time, unless you want to lend your opponent a hand in seizing your victory. Compassion never won elections, compassion is for missionaries and utopian leftists. The competition will gladly devour your hands, so why not bite first and swallow your adversary like a sink hold on steroids!
General Patton never asked the Nazis permission to enter occupied Europe, he pushed his tanks into Europe and ran over the enemy. Cruella De Vil never asked fur designers, “Would you darlings mind making my fur coats?” Cruella demanded, “Make my coats or I’ll wear your hides!” I believe in doing the same to government tyrants: You don’t destroy progressivism with sympathy, you do it by behaving like women at Filenes Running of the Brides: Never say, “Excuse me, may I see that gown?” Take that gown and leave your adversary under the racks!
I have no compassion for progressivism, I’ll tear that beast apart… with my bare teeth if necessary! Besides, I can always spit the scum out later.
Here are 10 rules I use to fight against progressivism.
1. Refuse To Be Defeated.
“[We] don’t want to get any messages saying, ‘I am holding my [conservative] position.’ We are not holding a G-d d-mned thing. Let the [Progressives, the Left] do that. [Americans] are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy’s balls. We are going to twist [those leftists] balls and kick the living sh*t out of [them] all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through the Progressives] like cr*p through a goose; like sh*t through a tin horn!”
2. Never Settle For Second Best, That’s Losing.
Remember, “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his county!” Do we Americans want to win back everything constitutional Washington stole from us? Then start removing career politicians from office. After all, “Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth, and liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politicians.”
3. Wake Up, Take Over The Parties.
Snap out of that political party coma and get some Patton into our philosophy. The only way to fight those Washington Sons of Bs is for the people to terminate the establishment by taking control of both parties.
4. Fight Like Winners And Enjoy Victory.
(Patton WWII reenactment): Real Americans love and know how to win, but we never won anything by negotiating and playing nice with the enemy. Winners face the opposition and hurl them under victory tanks. And never apologize, losers apologize, winners enjoy victory.
Never give the opposition victory, crush them. Cruella De Vil would.
5. Use The Opposition’s Philosophy Against Them.
Why are Americans allowing progressives to trample us like we’re their cheap, in-door-out-door carpet? Cruella De Vil would turn the tables on Washington and use their sleazy fighting rules against them, after all, “if we [Americans] make this [2016 election] coat, it will be as if I we’re wearing [their Progressive] dog.”
6. Declare War On Our leaders.
Government leaders are the anarchists. They trample our constitutional rights, our e-mails are monitored, but Hillary Clinton is allowed to destroy her e-mails.
We’re over-taxed and regulated, and we’re not even allowed to smoke in public anymore! Since when are those overpaid subordinates to the people better than us? It’s time Americans storm Washington, take it hostage, and neuter those overreaching tyrants with our bare hands, and wear their hides like badges of honor.
7. “Morality Isn’t Black And White,” Its Red, White, and Blue!
Both parties are filthy rats. They’ve chewed their way into power with cheap slogans that built wealthy nests fed by American tax dollars.
Well I hate rats, they’re cat food! Get rid of those anti-smoking, regulating vermin. They’ve, “reduced [us] to tramping through SEWAGE! Because [Washington] imbeciles can’t keep track of a bunch of [progressive] dogs!”
8. Stop Making Our Demands Known, Make Them Happen!
Stop accepting cheap offers from glorified aristocrats who make Rolling Stone look like authorities on moral fiber. Americans, get ruthless with Washington and force leaders to do as we say, because real power comes about when the people make it happen.
9. Fire Them All!
Cruella: “All right. Keep the little [House and Senate] beasts. Do what you like with them. Drown them, for all I care. You’re a fool, [Boehner]! I have no use for fools. You’re fired [McConnell], you’re finished [Harry Reid], you’ll never work in [Washington] again! I’m through with all of you [political hacks]! I’ll get even! Just wait. You’ll be sorry. You fools. You idiots… Congratulations. You [politicians] have just won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Morons Olympics!
John Boehner: “Who won the gold?”
Cruella: “SHUT UP! My business, my reputation, my life, has been ruined because you three incompetent TWITS let yourselves be outsmarted by a bunch of dumb [special interest and academic] animals! And you call yourselves men? HUH? I’ve seen more intelligent pieces of carpet!”
10. Come Up With A Winning Message And Drive it Home.
Americans are not fighting Washington with a winning message, we keep reelecting “perfectly good idiot[s] to take the fall for [progressives]!” Look at us, “[We’ve] hit bottom. Once you’ve chewed on [progressive] socks, the world is a whole different flavor…it’s time we replace sawdust in the dog food with dirt. It’s even cheaper.”
Come up with a real, winning plan to defeat big government and drive the Constitutional message to the people, even if that means driving a bus over every leader in Washington, D.C.! Make Washington eat sawdust!
Americans, if we want to change America back to America and restore liberty and the Constitution, fight like winners and kill progressivism.
image illustration via Disney Wikia