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Totally Megan McKane

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Why Rick Perry Cannot and Also Can’t Win Being the President

Thursday, October 6th, 2011 - by Totally Megan McKane

Editor’s Note: This post by Totally Megan McKane was originally published on September 17 at RedState.Com. After legal pressure, Red State removed this and another Totally Megan McKane post (that post is now available at PJLifestyle here.)   On Monday PJLifestyle published Totally Megan McKane’s response and her lawyer’s reply.

I would like, to thank the editors of Red State.org, for inviting me back! It would seeming that my latest column (for which I was paid), has, in the hearts and minds of many people, questions been raising, in the ways that thoughtful pieces sometimes do, after all this time. So you can see that I was grateful that Erick was inviting me back to clear some of them up, although it seems that most of the answers were evident from the piece allready to those who were willing to open their eyes and see the truth.

Firstly in the first place, some people had a question about my very obvious statement, “I don’t necessarily agree that Rick Perry is George Bush on crack, but he could definitely be described as George Bush 2.0.” The question, I have most often, been asked, is why I did not include literally anything in the piece to back up this claim or point out, the places where Perry and Bush are similar, the reason for that being simple. Hello? They are both from Texas. I guess I should apologize for, assuming that most people knew that already, but I guess they don’t. Well I am here to tell you in case you didn’t know: both George W. Bush and Rick Perry are from Texas. Now, in the entire time I have been paying attention to politics, there has only been one President of the United States elected from Texas. And if electing someone, from Texas was a winning strategy, then obviously, there would have been more.

Some ignorant jerk, clearly who doesn’t know about the young people, pointed out that George W. Bush 1.0 won, two elections, which is two more than my dad did. Let me just respond to that jerk by saying that George W. Bush only won those elections because he didn’t have to go against my dad either time. FACE!

Secondly, look, at this ridiculous email I got from, some right-wing extremist:

From: “mbecker” <mbecker_908@g-mail.com>
Subject: You are an idiot
Date: September 16, 2011 7:35:12 PM PDT
To: Totally Megan McKane <totally_megan@totallymeganmckane.com>

In your stupid article, you claimed, “I feel like a character in “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” but instead of pointing out that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, I am pointing out that this person is in every way unelectable on a national scale.”
Do you have any evidence at all to back up this asinine claim or are you just pulling it out of your [I removed a dirty

word here]? I mean, any polls, any analysis, anything insightful? Anything other than your say so?

Die in a fire you twit.

-mbecker

Apparently, this “mbecker” whoever, he thinks he is, does not know that I used to be a campaign blogger for the most successful campaign that has ever been run (which was even able to overcome the horrible mistake of firing me!) – my dad’s. And also that I wrote a book, which sold dozens and, dozens of copies. Does this “mbecker” have a rich and famous father such that people would publish a book, which he, spent less than 5 hours on? I doubt it.

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Totally Megan McKane: My Review of Known and Unknown

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011 - by Totally Megan McKane

Editor’s Note: This post by Totally Megan McKane was originally published on Tuesday, March 22nd at RedState.Com. After legal pressure, Red State removed this and another Totally Megan McKane post.  On Monday PJLifestyle published Totally Megan McKane’s response and her lawyer’s reply. Tomorrow we’ll republish the second Totally Megan McKane commentary, which originally provoked the legal intimidation.

I know that you all have been, as my loyal fans and readers are, desperately eager to hear my thoughts and book review, on Donald Rumsfeld’s seemingly book of the month, as he is everywhere and on television promoting it, which has been titled, appropriately or inappropriately, Known and Unknown, probably because the intended, message to be conveyed is that he knows a lot of things. But one thing, that Mr. Rumsfeld does not know how to do, the writing of a book which is to the all important, young people’s vote, a book that they would like.

Allow me if you would, to explain a few things to Mr. Rumsfeld, about what you should do if you want to writing a critically acclaimed book that will reach the lofty stratosphere occupied by books that have reached all the way to #1732 on amazon.com, like a certain book written by a certain Presidential candidate’s daughter who totally singlehandedly delivered the youth vote to John McCain in 2008 (free hint – I’m talking about my book!!!).

In the first point, Known and Unknown is, to belaboring a point, very long. It is much, much longer than the youth of today will be willing to take in their hands and read. It is almost as long as this review of my book (have I mentioned that I wrote a book? I say this so, that you will know that I am an authority on this subject and, not so that you will think I am bragging because bragging is not what I am about. Like my education at Colombia, I hardly ever mention that I went to, a prestigious college, like Colombia, because I am sure that the fact that I am the product o f a very expensive education shines through in my writing so, there is no, need to constantly point it out). I have no idea whether that review was a good one or bad one. Why? Because I am young and like other, people who are young (and who party and drink and dare to use the word “sex” in a book title) I have better things to do with, my time than.. where was I going with that again? That is not the important thing which is important. The important thing is this, that Known and Unknown is very long.

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A Case, of Identity Thieving

Monday, October 3rd, 2011 - by Totally Megan McKane

Update: Totally Megan McKane’s review of Donald Rumsfeld’s autobiography is now available at PJLifestyle here.

Attention, young people!! I am writing, this column to inform you that, there is someone on the Internet who is FALSELY IMPERSONATING me, Totally Meghan McCain. This person, clearly not having been matriculated – from a prestigious university like Colombia, as I had, is making me look like a TOTAL IDIOT.  When I realized this, I was HORRIFIC. (PS – Am I, the only one who realizes, that word is completely sexist? It, was probably invented by some pasty old white male – Republican – instead of being invented, by someone cool like my dad).

I am, so horrific in fact, have taken steps to have my name legally changed. It turns out some jerk already owns the name Totally Meghan OchoCinco, so I have decided to go with Totally Megan McKane, which is how, it should be spelled anyway (the silent “I” in McCain doesn’t make any sense!)

It reminded me of the time I was watching TV one Saturday night, with a Republican insider (being the important person that I am being, I know Republicans insiders, some who I do not like, for instance Steve Schmidt, but some who are also totally sweet like Greg Sargent and Adam Serwer). I was not familiar with the, show on the television, but an old person in their thirties we were watching it with said it was something called “Saturday Night Live.”

Any ways. I was impressed, that this show actually had PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, performing, live in person, on their show, and that it was impressing that Obama took the time out of what must be a busy social schedule (on the weekend!), to help out, NBC with their ratings! Who says Obama does not care about jobs? Not me. However, it was confusing because the things, he was saying made NO SENSE and everyone in the audience kept, laughing at him, and he pretended not to care at all and finally I asked aloud whether no one, cared at all whether they hurt the Presidential feelings, and after about 30 minutes the old person said, “Wait. Do you seriously think that is the REAL President Obama?”

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