Singles – when you go out in search of the perfect partner do you take a measuring tape with you? Perhaps you should because perfection is a collection of optimal measurements. So say scientists in the UK, as reported by The Daily Mail and shared by The Huffington Post. Britain’s Florence Colgate is said to have the perfect face, based on the following stats:
“A woman’s face is said to be most attractive when the space between her pupils is just under half the width of her face from ear to ear. Experts also believe the relative distance between eyes and mouth should be just over a third of the measurement from hairline to chin.”
Is Ms. Colgate pretty? Yes. But the most beautiful in the world? I don’t think so, but then again I also didn’t see Sandra Brick as a heart-stopping beauty, which is what she believes she is as noted in Dave Swindle’s post “Women Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful.”
Perhaps perfection differs from culture to culture. Japanese inventor Le Trung built the perfect woman. According to Lee, some of the qualities that make his robot perfect is she is always happy to clean his house or fetch him a drink (his address is available to any feminists reading this who are interested in ‘speaking’ with him on his qualifiers.)
What is perfection anyway, and is it desirable? Isn’t a mole considered to be an imperfection? Yet, isn’t it that same mole, when placed just to the left of and above Cindy Crawford’s upper lip, part of what contributes to her beauty?
Isn’t identifying perfection simply a matter of pointing out imperfections? And who among us is without blemish and therefore qualified to cast that first stone? Not I.
Perfection is not a combination of math and science it is a matter of opinion. Beauty is, as the saying goes, in the eye of the beholder. Otherwise there’s just no explaining Yoko.
In Jonathan Sanders’ post regarding Peter Gabriel, commenter RKae stated, “That (Scratch My Back) was one of the most boring damned albums I’ve ever heard!” Which got me to thinking – what IS the most boring album of all time? And then I went back in time, to high school years…
You rush home from the record store. Back in the safety of your bedroom sanctuary you can barely contain the excitement as you tear the cellophane wrapper off the latest album from one of your favorite artists. You pop it on the turntable (yes, ”turntable”), the needle lowers to the wax and… a half hour later you realize you’ve been ripped off for $12!
For me, the most boring album of all time is Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Animal? Classic.
Metal Machine Music? Crap.
It didn’t take a half hour before I wished I had my money back, it only took two minutes – because the first two minutes was the same ‘noise’ as the next two, and the next two and the whole damned record!
Listen to the clip above, if you dare.
Currently playing out in Maryland is the strange-and-getting-stranger story of Marlinde Wilson, who claims to have one of the three winning Mega Millions tickets from last week’s drawing, worth 218 million dollars before taxes. According to co-workers at the McDonald’s where she’s employed the ticket was part of a group purchase and the money should be divided equally. Marlinde says the winner was a private purchase and the money is all hers, but curiously has not yet submitted the ticket to lottery officials, causing some to doubt her story.
Does she really have the ticket? Is she crazy-rich, or just plain crazy?
On the “crazy” side of the ledger we have the fact that she is in Maryland, not Turks and Caicos. (Maybe it’s just me, but if I won 200 mil I’d be lying on the beach on Turks and Caicos, surrounded by tanned lovelies fanning me with palm fronds while having cat fights over who gets to refill my frozen margarita, even when it’s full.)
Also pointing to crazy is this – she has seven kids, works at McDonald’s, and has not collected the money yet. Let me repeat that one: she has seven kids, works at McDonalds, and has not . . .
On the crazy-rich side we have evidence that sniffing Mickey D’s french fries for prolonged periods of time has negative effects on the brain of Lottery winners. Across the pond, McDonald’s employee Luke Pittard won over one million pounds (more than two million US dollars) and… still works at his job as a burger boy.
Or maybe she’s crazy like a fox and plans to turn a contrived publicity stunt into cash. Maybe she’s aiming for a reality show, like the Balloon Boy clan. Or maybe she plans on suing someone (For what? Anything. These are the United States of Litigation, she can sue for invasion of the privacy she willfully gave up, lost wages for time missed while conning the media, or, hot McCoffee that was, well, hot. Lawyers will be lining up to represent her.)
At the very least, she’ll be invited on the Today Show, Good Morning America and the View. And for certain Homo sapiens circa 2012, vacuous instant fame is almost as good as winning the lottery.
What do you think – did she really win the lottery or is she the guy in Paraguay with the fake Golden Ticket?