Amy Schumer IS a Pig...But It Has Nothing to Do With Her Size!

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Recently, photos hit the internet of Amy Schumer frolicking on the beach in Hawaii in a swimsuit and the world went crazy calling her a fat pig. This is unacceptable, people! I don’t know when it happened that people decided they could say anything they wanted online, no matter how rude, untrue, or shameful, without consequences, but it needs to stop. Amy Schumer is not exempt from criticism, because there are plenty of things to be truly outraged about when it comes to her cultural influence, but her body is not one of them, nor should anyone’s body be something that the general public obsesses about.

Schumer is a normal-sized girl. She isn’t plus-sized, she isn’t obese, she is an average-sized woman who appears to like to swim and hang out at the beach…like everyone in the history of mankind. She isn’t less than human because she wears a size 10 instead of a 2. When did a size 10 become “fat”? This cultural morass in which women are shamed and called fat when they are just an average-sized woman is sick.

Unfortunately, conservative men seem to pile onto this kind of shaming on a regular basis (only confirming to the enemy that they are misogynistic jerks. Don’t any of them have daughters? Or wives with stretched bellies from childbirth?). Steven Crowder is one of those who went after Schumer for posing nude on a calendar because she has a belly roll. (I defy anyone to sit down without a belly roll…go ahead, try it without Photoshop help.) Crowder’s main concern was not that it isn’t brave for a woman to pose nude because doing so lowers their worth to wobbly bits, but that Schumer, in his estimation, just isn’t attractive and she’s “fat.”

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Excuse me but, what?

I’m as conservative as they come and I think he missed the point. Women reduced to only being worth what their flesh will trade are akin to the slave days whether they look like Cindy Crawford or Rosie O’Donnell. It’s not brave when any woman bares her bod for money, it’s just prostitution and slavery to male desires. I’m not opposed to nudes at all, actually, and wasn’t even bothered by Schumer’s nude pose (which was pretty covered up for a nude shoot) but I would hope my daughters wouldn’t fall for the lie that getting undressed for the pleasure of men who aren’t their husbands will empower them. Crowder tied himself into the unfortunate knot of trying to explain that he’s not against nude women, per se, but just against those he finds unattractive:

Why is it brave for Schumer to be naked? Because she’s unattractive. The conflict is only created because you thrust your naked, gelatinous, amoeba-like body in my face, which conflicts with my desire to not see you naked.

Thank God we’ve finally found the World’s Greatest Judge of Female Attractiveness! Ladies, before defining your self-worth, make sure to send Steven Crowder your photograph so he can determine if you are fit to appear in public. It’s distressing to me when conservative men who should be advancing the narrative of conservative principles are instead fat-shaming feminists when they should be idea-shaming them. Schumer’s boyfriend seems to find her attractive enough (along with the army of men she claims to have slept with).

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If you’re going to bash Amy Schumer for something, let’s stick to what’s relevant. Schumer is contributing to the ever lowering bar of cultural incivility with one of the most vulgar “comedy” routines you’ve ever seen. She sets herself up as one of the new “feminists” who only find worth between their legs and have to tell everyone about it in the most graphic ways, whether you want to hear about it or not. If you want to know why young women have no respect for themselves sexually, allow themselves to be treated like disposable tissues by multiple men, and think posing nude is empowering, thank Amy Schumer, the unfunny “feminist” pig who looks perfectly fine in a bathing suit (or nude on a calendar).

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