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Rights Group Seeking ‘Legal Person’ Status For A Chimp

Let's work on Constitutional rights for humans first...

by
Stephen Kruiser

Bio

December 3, 2013 - 9:55 am

rise-of-planet-of-the-apes-4

Everybody needs a cause.

Chimpanzees are not people, no matter how they are dressed up for commercials, but perhaps they are close enough that they deserve some of the same rights humans have.

That is what an animal rights group claimed on Monday when it filed a classic writ of habeas corpus, that revered staple of American and English law and tired cliché of detective fiction — not for a human being held unlawfully, but for Tommy, a chimpanzee in Gloversville, N.Y.

This is no stunt. The Nonhuman Rights Project has been working on this legal strategy for years, sifting through decisions in all 50 states to find one that is strong on what is called common law, and one that recognizes animals as legal persons for the purpose of being the beneficiary of a trust.

The leader of the project, Steven M. Wise, who has written about the history of habeas corpus writs in the fight against human slavery and who views the crusade for animal rights as a lifelong project, said New York fit the bill.

Yeah…no.

I appreciate people trying to protect animals but I don’t appreciate people being insane, which is what you are if you are investing time and money to get Constitutional rights extended to chimpanzees.

Every time I read about or meet zealots like this I always think, “Aren’t there some humans in distress who you could be helping?”

****

Cross-posted from the PJ Tatler

Stephen Kruiser is a professional comedian and writer who has also been a conservative political activist for over two decades. A co-founder of the first Los Angeles Tea Party, Kruiser often speaks to grassroots groups around America and has had the great honor of traveling around the world entertaining U.S. troops.

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All Comments   (4)
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Well. This explains Joe Biden.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
" . . . but perhaps they are close enough that they deserve some of the same rights humans have."

Well yeah, like voting . . . . enrolling in Obamacare . . . . buying a Tesla (or Prius, for the not-so-well-to-do chimps) . . . . and getting price gouged at Starbucks.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Somewhere, GW Bush is smiling.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Aren’t there some humans in distress who you could be helping?”

The problem is they loathe humanity (excluding themselves of course), so a human in distress does not get the same sympathy.

The real problem is if this is ever granted, it would put a stop to all new major infrastructure projects in the US. All any group needs to do is sue for any single animal that may be affected and have its "rights" violated.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
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