3) Dogs are better pets.
John’s reasoning needs to be revealed:
Dogs have spent thousands of years earning the title “man’s best friend” while cats spent that time perfecting the art of spitting up hairballs. Your dog would rather sleep outside on the ground with you than inside a warm, comfortable house. Your cat is kind of hoping you’ll die so he can eat you. Dogs use the bathroom outside. Cats stink up your house by insisting on using a litter box. Dogs are renowned for their loyalty. Cats are mainly known for murdering small animals and dropping them in front of their owners in an attempt to horrify and intimidate them.
Cats spit up hairballs because they are smart enough to clean themselves. Oh, they’ll allow you to brush them when they are of a mind to sit still long enough. But this is a bonding exercise — they really don’t need it.
And what are you doing sleeping outside on the cold ground, John? This is a sign of intelligence? Cats — and their masters — know better to come in out of the cold and sleep in a warm bed.
And those small animals murdered by cats carry disease and pestilence. In the Middle Ages when Europe carried out felinicide and nearly wiped out the cat population, the black plague — a disease borne by fleas carried by rats — killed 75% of humans on the continent. Needless to say, a healthy population of urban cats would have nipped the plague in the bud.
Do dogs have the capability of saving humanity?
4) Dogs are happy and fun while cats are generally annoying.
There is no animal on planet earth more attuned to humans than cats. Because of this, they sense immediately whether you approve of them or not. If you are scared of them, they make it a point to jump on your lap and look at you with that baleful predator stare. If you find them annoying, you are likely to get the “figure 8″ treatment. This is when you are walking into another room and the cat moves effortlessly between your legs, making figure eights, back and forth, hoping you will trip over your own feet and go crashing to the floor. It amuses them to know that they annoy you and can actually turn your annoyance to rage.
Don’t mess with cats, man. They’ll make you sorry you ever met them.
5) Cats would murder you if they could.
“Murder” is a little strong. Yes, it’s true that when you catch a cat sitting in the middle of the room and staring at you he is thinking only one thing — lunch. But this is part of the cat’s charm. They aren’t thinking of attacking and killing you. They are mulling over their options on how best to manipulate you to get you to do their bidding. A well-modulated “meow,” a perfectly timed leap into your lap, or the strategic headbutt usually work equally well in tugging at our heartstrings and getting us to do our master’s bidding.
I have been kept by cats for more than 40 years and rejoice in my slavery. Once you recognize the cat’s superiority to humans — and dogs — you gladly allow yourself to be captured by them. It is a privilege to be enslaved by a beast whose ineffable qualities give us such pleasure, and whose aloofness and other-worldliness delight and mystify us.
Did I mention I love dogs too?
He was big, almost 20 pounds, with a thick neck, blue eyes and all white fur. He looked something like a white tiger, and he moved with grace, power and authority.
Me protected me. When visitors came to the house, he would stake out the high ground on the stairs or on top of furniture -- and then, he would watch my guests. If one made a movement toward me that he considered aggressive, he would jump them -- usually resulting in blood spilled and feelings bruised.
My ex-wife, once tried to shoot me with my own gun. Big mistake, he jumped her and bit off a piece of her ear. It's still noticeable today, 20 years later.
He would come when I called him and would often just sit close to me and stare at me for hours.
He was an accomplished voyeur, often sitting on top of the bigger wardrobe in my bedroom and watching when I had visitors. Remarkably, he never mistook any actions as aggression.
That cat loved me. and I loved him -- so much so I cannot ever replace him and choose to remain catless for the rest of my days.
Cats look down on you.
Pigs are equal.
So what if liberals favor cats a pets? They should be congratulated. No human has ever found a use for a liberal.
If utility must be considered, I point out that the mightiest predator on record is the feline defender of the Glenturret Distillery, who assassinated almost 30,000 rodents in defense of a first-class single malt scotch.
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I do agree with your assessment of most cats. I have seen though my share of stand-offish, aloof & mean-spirited cats.
I am always accompanied by both cats & dogs, as I am quite fond of both.
Kittens lose the sucking reflex after they're weaned. Adult cats lap liquids. That's why you don't put a soda straw in a cat's water bowl.
He was big, almost 20 pounds, with a thick neck, blue eyes and all white fur. He looked something like a white tiger, and he moved with grace, power and authority.
Me protected me. When visitors came to the house, he would stake out the high ground on the stairs or on top of furniture -- and then, he would watch my guests. If one made a movement toward me that he considered aggressive, he would jump them -- usually resulting in blood spilled and feelings bruised.
My ex-wife, once tried to shoot me with my own gun. Big mistake, he jumped her and bit off a piece of her ear. It's still noticeable today, 20 years later.
He would come when I called him and would often just sit close to me and stare at me for hours.
He was an accomplished voyeur, often sitting on top of the bigger wardrobe in my bedroom and watching when I had visitors. Remarkably, he never mistook any actions as aggression.
That cat loved me. and I loved him -- so much so I cannot ever replace him and choose to remain catless for the rest of my days.
That said, I still love my cats.