Doomsday Preppers Week 13: Pain Is Good
David Lakota is a self-absorbed, sanctimonious, vision-seeing hippie who can kiss my moose. He doesn’t like mankind, and holds himself above it. He lives in Hawaii, and is terrified that a massive tsunami will scour the low-lying coastal cities off the map. Because he’s “special” and “spiritual” he believes the tiki tiki gods (or some other mystic crap) will give him warning the night before a tsunami to give him time to escape.
Because he’s special.
David’s arrogance aside, this isn’t an irrational fear; Hawaii has been hit by more than 50 known tsunamis of various sizes and intensities over the years. Compounding the problem is that Hawaii imports 90 percent of its food, so if the ports are wrecked, it will be very difficult to offload supplies.
Rachaelle is David’s new-age girlfriend, and she buys into his nuttiness. Their brilliant plan to survive an island-killing tsunami? They’ll paddle 15 miles along the shoreline to reach a distant location with nothing but the clothes on their backs (or, in Rachaelle’s case, a bikini) and live off the land.
Yeah… this is going to end well.
But before we even get off the beach, spiritual Dave manages to stab himself with his paddle in the foot, deeply. Since these geniuses didn’t bring anything in the way of supplies, Rachaelle has him chew up the pulp of the noni plant, which she claims is one of the most medicinal plants on the islands, and then spit the chewed up mess concoction into the open, sandy wound. Did I mention that modern science has found virtually no medicinal use for the noni plant at all?
Gaping wound packed with fruit-spit, David and Rachaelle now tackle an ascent up a 4,000 foot mountain, barefoot.







Hawaii will be a racist dream, with race warfare breaking out almost immediately followed by long luau's on the beach serving long pig.
Hawaii will be a racist dream, with race warfare breaking out almost immediately followed by long luau's on the beach serving long pig.
And actually the far north and the entire rural area of Alaska would be the ones with the best chance of surviving a breakdown since they somewhat live on a subsistence food economy anyway and the starving people from the urban areas would have great difficulty getting out into The Bush. That said, a lot of them would die too. (show less)
Don't worry. If the dysintery doesn't get them, the staph infection will.
Don't worry. If the dysintery doesn't get them, the staph infection will.
Second best is a bunker basement living area good for
at least a week, and preferably a month in isolation.
Second best is a bunker basement living area good for
at least a week, and preferably a month in isolation.
The Hawaiian couple are the anti-Snake, the don't know how to live off the land. At least they didn't embarrass their kids on t.v. Like comet lady did. And why was he sometimes shown with a back pack?
The Hawaiian couple are the anti-Snake, the don't know how to live off the land. At least they didn't embarrass their kids on t.v. Like comet lady did. And why was he sometimes shown with a back pack?
I have a bug out bag... (show more)
I have a bug out bag good for a few days for each family member if I have to evacuate due to a tsunami; I don't think I'd evacuate for anything else. I have a nice generator and enough goods to go a week or two without real sacrifice, a month with some discomfort, and the wherewithal to make sure it stays mine. Anything that looks to last longer than that, you need to figure out how to get out of Alaska or be prepared to kill and eat your neighbors or vice versa.
And mythology notwithstanding, most Alaskans are urban or suburbanites who live a pretty comfortable modern existence. We have all that good stuff out there and to a greater or lesser degree some of us have learned to use it. Sure we can kill a moose with a $20K or more jet boat or a chartered or personal floatplane to get it to us. I caught a LOT of fish in Southeast Alaska with a $100K boat with all the modern conveniences and the latest greatest technology; the boat was pretty good for sport caught pretty tourists, too, and I could do dashing Alaskan sea captain with the best of them. (show less)
After all- its TV - its entertainment for the lowest common denominator.
After all- its TV - its entertainment for the lowest common denominator.