Pity Party

3) The Pity Vampire

These chicks are like vampires — and not the sparkly, broody, overprotective kind. They lure you in by playing on your compassion. They tell you a sad story about the awful break they’ve had, the rotten people they’re surrounded with, and how terrible their life has become. You feel so bad for the Pity Vampire that you just want to hug her; yet, the worst thing is that the bad news just keeps on coming. You know that because she wants to tell you every detail of how mean people are to her, how sad she is, and how she feels so much better because you’ve shown up. Then eventually, after she’s bathed in your empathy like a scuba diver for months, you realize the awful truth: She’s like this ALL THE TIME. You thought you were being nice to someone going through a rough patch, but really you had a Pity Vampire milking you of the nectar of human kindness.