Grown Men Don’t Read Comic Books: Here’s an Alternative (That Might Just Save America)
Looking for a superhero? Try your first president.
January 10, 2013 - 7:00 am
At that “boy’s” age, Jesus had risen from the dead.
This unemployed man-child lives with his mommy and daddy and can barely rise from the couch.
And when I was his age, I’d faced a much worse recession straight out of college — he’s recently graduated (again), this time from (you’ll never guess) journalism school! — and I still managed to get (and keep) a job.
Along with a revolving cast of irresponsible, eccentric roommates, I also lived in an uninsulated, illegal apartment out beyond the last eastbound streetcar stop, with a leaky roof and a mouse-infested couch. (You could feel them running back and forth under your butt…)
And I’d have lived in a bus shelter rather than move back “home.”
You don’t need me to add that this “kid” I’ve been talking about is a big science-fiction fan who reads comic books, do you?
(Sorry: graphic novels. Yeah, I know: Maus won the Pulitzer Prize. That was twenty years ago.)
I’ve said it before: Science-fiction fans, “graphic novel” readers, and computer-game addicts rarely amount to anything, despite (or because of) the man-hours they waste fantasizing about heroic adventures.
You’d think with all that non-stop inspiration, these “men” would be resourceful, honorable, accomplished individuals.
They aren’t, of course. Their brains are crammed with useless information about plastic toys and make-believe aircraft.
They’ve never watched a movie older than Star Wars and don’t read books that aren’t franchise tie-ins.
They think old Twilight Zone plots are profound. They cultivate narcissistic food-related affectations and other neurotic First World “problems.”
They’re boors and they’re bores.
And everyone reading this knows at least one of these “kids.” They are legion.
“Men” like this are funny and cute in movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
In real life, these lazy, unambitious, cowardly boys — I call them “unmanned drones” — are a threat to national security and America’s future — one that may only be altered if we rediscover America’s past.