The Judge Dredd Guide to Parenting
In Mega-City One, there is one constant: Judge Joseph Dredd.
Cloned from the first chief judge, Eustace Fargo, Dredd’s growth was artificially accelerated. After his brain was electronically implanted with all the appropriate information he would need, he was “born” at age five, just in time to enter the Academy of Law.
Called the toughest school on Earth, it takes fifteen years to make it through the Academy. Judge Dredd was fast-tracked.
He made it through in thirteen.
He is by far the most famous street judge in Mega-City One, known for his unshakable devotion to the law and the swift and brutal punishment he brings to anyone who violates it.
What can he teach us about being a good parent?
I can think of five things.
Photo Credit: Boyce Duprey
I am the law.
As a parent, you are the law.
You set the rules, not the child.
The rules are not put in place just because you like setting up rules. They are there for a purpose. It might be to keep the child safe from harm, like the standard “Don’t run with scissors.” It might be to teach your child good manners, like saying “please” and “thank you.”
When you set a rule, expect your child to ask, “Why?”
While you could easily say, “Because I am the law,” it’s better to explain why you want them to follow the rule.
You don’t run with scissors because you could trip and fall on them. You say “please” because in a civil society we ask for things rather than demand them.
If they understand why it exists, there’s a better chance they’ll follow it.
But when they don’t, there’s another role you must take on.
Judge. Jury. Executioner.
As a street judge, Dredd doesn’t just find criminals and bring them in. He judges them on the spot. If guilty, he assigns the punishment. If the punishment is death, he becomes the executioner.
In your house, you must be judge, jury, and executioner.
Not literally. You’re not going to kill your children.
But if you roll up on them violating a rule you set and explained to them, you must administer the punishment.
Don’t postpone it. Don’t pass it off to another.
You do it.
If you postpone it, you could forget it. And I guarantee your kid isn’t going to bring it up.
And if you pass it off, you’re sending the message to your child that they don’t have to listen to you because you’re not going to do anything about it.
They will not respect your authority.
Let them plead their case, but if you find them guilty, swift justice is required.
Photo Credit: Boyce Duprey
Train your rookies.
In Dredd 3D, Judge Dredd is training rookie Judge Cassandra Anderson. She’s been through the Academy, but it’s up to Dredd to get her ready to be on her own.
As a parent, you can do the same thing with your children.
When you see an old friend, introduce them to your children. Expect your child to shake their hand and say something like, “I’m pleased to meet you.”
This type of training can happen prior to the meeting, like in a homeschool class on etiquette, or it can happen minutes before the introduction. Just go over what they are expected to do, and then walk them through it.
Other training opportunities include:
- Give them the money for something they want at the store. Make them buy it, rather than throwing it in with your stuff.
- Let them get their own library card, and have them take responsibility for late fees.
- Make them save up for a big purchase, rather than buying it for them.
- Have them sit in on the monthly budgeting process, so they understand how to manage their money.
- Walk through the steps in changing a tire when one needs changed.
- Let them tell a waiter or waitress their order, rather than ordering for them.
Most things you do daily and take for granted make great training exercises for your little rookie. Take the time to put them through the paces and it will pay off later.
Photo Credit: Boyce Duprey
LAAAAAAAW!
Check out this scene from the 1995 disaster “Judge Dredd.”
LAAAAAAAAAW!
That clip contains gold.
Gold so awful, it’s awesome.
Armand Assante’s over-the-top growl is unforgettable. Nearly twenty years later, people are not only talking about it, but making videos based on it.
Look for those moments in the time you spend with your children. Every once and a while an everyday event will produce something unexpected and memorable.
Appreciate it for what it is and laugh about it for years.
Don’t Be Daddy Dredd
I spend a lot of time behind the keyboard. When I’m not writing, or producing a video, or recording a podcast, I’m working around the house or trying to get something else done.
I am guilty of sometimes taking for granted the time I have with my kids.
I’m brutally reminded of this when one of my kids drops the “Chapin bomb” on me.
It’s a gut shot.
Sometimes when one of my kids asked me to do something and I tell them I don’t have time, they’ll walk away singing:
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man n the moon.
When you comin home?
Son, I don’t know when. well get together then.
You know well have a good time then.
That brings it all home to me. (If you don’t know why, watch this.)
Judge Dredd only has time for one thing: the law.
Don’t do that. Don’t take it for granted.
I was playing with my son Jake one day. He was two at the time.
We were both laughing and I said, “I’m gonna miss you, Jake.”
My wife said to me, “What?”
I replied, “Soon, this guy will be gone and a man will be where he was. I’m gonna miss this.”
Remember, the cat’s in the cradle. Make time for something besides “the law.”
****
Photo Credit: Mooshuu
More from Duane at PJ Lifestyle:
Great advice … and not just for Dads for Moms too!
Good advice…no one on their death bed ever said “I spent too much time with my kids.”
Excellent advice.
When my daughter was found guilty of spending too much time on the internet and refusing to stop, I “executed” by removing the internet cable from her computer, and right in front of her, cut off the end. She snarled and cried for a long time, but when she calmed down I informed her that I had the gear to fix the cable .. when she had earned it.
Father Dredd indeed. Nice analogy!
This is good to have sons and daughters you can love so maybe you can endure the rebel children who hate God and be patient with them but patience has limits as we see with Chosen of God Elisha
2 Kings
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
They talk back…you shout.
They storm away…you stop them.
They shove, you whack.
They bring a knife, you bring a gun.
They bring a bazooka, you bring a tank.
Right up to thermonuclear war!
Once this principle has been established beyond all doubt(and 2 years old is way too late to start), the stigma and resentment of losing is gone. They are SURE of where this is going, so they stop trying, and look for other, less nasty ways of manipulating you.
In my experience, they always try Love.
And THAT always works.
Lest you think me a tyrant, I really have few rules. The only thing that is beyond any kind of mercy is to flat out lie to me or to do exactly the opposite of what you’ve told me you did or will do.
I know it works. Someone can call either of my sons anything they want. Just don’t call ME something nasty in their presence. You’ll be spitting teeth for weeks. The 33 tear old is my business partner. We have lived in each others’ pockets since he was born. My collegian is always quoting me to his professors, as an unimpeachable source. The professors tell me so.
They have each been spanked once; three strokes on their bare bottoms; around age 8; with a belt. Their offenses were extreme.Thus the belt.
Right now, I don’t even know where my belt is.
Just the once. Just three strokes. I remember each one.
That judge, jury, and executioner stuff is most likely to get you in front of a judge; a divorce judge. You left out the step where after you render a verdict and get set to carry out the sentence, the kid whines and the Mommy Court of Appeals is convened. You, being a stupid brute of a man and having hurt her baby’s feelings are reversed on appeal and mommy buys the brat a Lamborghini or a castle in Lichtenstein to soothe its feelings and adds your offense to her bill of particulars in the divorce filing.
Clearly one had better be in agreement with the spouse. Otherwise divorce is the likely outcome.
Divorce, arrest, criminal charges of some kind are the likely outcomes of applying this advice given the number of people in their neighbor’s business these days. The only way to be certain to freely apply this advice is to live in isolation from others.
See:
http://www.alt-market.com/articles/1077-let-the-children-play-societal-constraints-reduce-freedom
The only way to restore parental authority is to repeal some bad laws and dismantle the law’s supporting agencies. It is probably necessary to eliminate year-round sitting legislatures, including City Councils. Legislative bodies have way too much time on their hands that allows construction of statutory mischief caused by “do-gooder” lobbying.
@Art Chance: I was assuming in my reading of this article that both parents are on the same page as to what house rules and consequences for breaking them are. That’s how my husband and I do things, and, in fact, trying to get one parent to contradict the edict of the other is a high crime. It was in the house I grew up in, also. If things go as you describe, you have serious marital issues way beyond child rearing.
If things go as I described, a man has married the typical modern woman. If you’re not like that, some man is very fortunate.
I’m not a parent but I am a fan of Judge Dredd, and I find myself once again compelled to point out that Mega-City One has no death penalty. Dredd has killed plenty of people, but he’s never executed one.
Other than that this was a fair enough article.
It’ll never work.
Dad: “I AM THE LAW!”
Son: “Whoa! Tone it down a tad, huh pops?”
My Daddy had only 3 rules: Sit still; be quiet; hands off. He always said that if you taught your kids those three rules, you never needed to teach them anything else. When we got older, he elaborated; e.g. sit still in public — don’t run around, climb the pews, kick the seat in front of you, or talk out loud in a movie, a meeting or a concert; don’t touch ANYTHING that does not belong to you — from your sister’s hairbrush to your neighbour’s wife. Daddy could leave a loaded shotgun on the table in plain sight and not one of us would have touched it. Because it was not ours.
1. I’m an old man now, but I vividly remember when I was 7 or 8 my mother would occasionally take me to a restaurant for lunch to teach me proper manners. What the reason was for different knives, forks & spoons; not to speak with food in your mouth; no elbows on the table; how to use a napkin; how to order a meal; how to seat my mother (or other female); etc.
2. My aunt’s first child was raised until about age 6 by Dr. Spock! At that time the child was being so disruptive and out of control at times that they ended up taking her a physiologist (and later a psychiatrist). The outcome – corporeal punishment! The child didn’t believed she was loved because they never corrected her for anything; once they started smacking her little butt when she misbehaved everything dropped into its proper place. She turned out to be a wonderful child, lady and mother in her own right.