5 Differences Between Boys and Real Men
3) A real man produces: There was a time when a man was expected to produce enough to take care of himself, his wife, and his kids. In a world with daycare, where most women have careers, that’s no longer the standard, although most men at least hold it up as an ideal they’d like to reach. Today, men are expected to at least take care of themselves and contribute to the upkeep of their children. There’s nothing manly about freeloading off your parents or your fellow citizens because you don’t want to work. It’s also ultimately self-defeating. How many lazy “men” have you seen who are eaten up with resentment because men who took risks and worked harder than they did reaped rewards no one ever received for watching other people living out their dreams on TV all day long?
I used to load planes with gang members and gang member wanna-bes. (After 911, the companies began background checks, and those guys all vanished from the job.) They would stand around and jabber about “putting a cap in somebody’s ass”; make their idiotic hand motions (playing with their crotches) when they talked. One of them brought a gun in to threaten another one who had “dissed” him. We said, “Um… this is an airport. That’s a gun. And, yes, we ARE making a Federal case out of it.”
They did the tough-guy routine all day long… until it was time to push some cargo. “It’s heavy! Whaaaaaa!” Those babies had no idea what work was, and when they found out, they wanted no part of it. (And I’m supposed to believe that it’s racism that holds them back in life?)
My father began running into those guys in the 1980s on the job at construction sites where he designed and installed the plumbing. As trade apprentices, they flatly refused to get on their knees to clean the copper joints before sweating and soldering. Turned him in to the union as a racist they did, for insisting they do their jobs. They got reputations as troublemakers and motivated men like my dad to retire early. And it’s not necessarily a race card thing. I’m an engineer in a corporate position. Just try to give an intern a menial job these days, male, female, black, white, doesn’t matter. Second fastest way going to end up on the boss’s carpet. Yeah…. early retirement would be real nice.
I agree with the both of you. However my experiences with engineering interns in the early 00′s were much more positive. I ran a small engineering lab from ’03-05 where we hired interns from the local university. To their credit all of them performed well. More importantly, they did whatever work they saw that had to be done. They did not have to be told what to do. Mind you, these guys were engineering students (electrical and mechanical). I was very willing to recommend them for jobs.
On the other hand, we had our website hosted by several local webhosting companies. Both of these companies had young people working for them who simply did not give a shit about doing their job. I’ve noticed this attitude among most young people who do non-technical work.
Harry,
My Dad, who recently died at 93, worked for the MDC (Metropolitan District Commission; civil service) in Boston. Guys came to work drunk, left at noon, and spent their afternoons at Suffolk Downs race track. When he complained they reassigned him. When he said he’d write to Senator Kennedy they laughed.
Well I guess that sum’s it up then,The BLACK and or HISPANIC guy’s aren’t real men right. I think you missed the entire point, blinded by your obvious ignorance regarding what a “Real Man Is”. I do not mean to insult or disrespect you but “DAMN”I really enjoy topics like this and also enjoy the comments that follow,but there is always someone like yourself with some hidden racist A#@ remark that follows.
Why don’t we as MEN and I am assuming by the name that you are a MAN exercise the one very simple rule of MEN #1-”If you don’t have anything good to say shut up!
#2-If it’s not something you can say to the individual that your speaking on ,You should not be saying it. These are very simple rules taught to us as kid’s.
Also it is very obvious that those guy’s you worked with scared the HEll out of you. L.O.L…
You’re not very bright are you?
Your response violates both of your own rules of manhood!
And the point of RK was that these guys were acting lille tough guys, real manly men, until it came time to work. It’s your racism that came to the surface, not his.
Agreed!
A real man does what is best for his family. No matter the cost to himself.
http://ericsprott.blogspot.ca/
Well said.
Back in the ’90s I was a lead operations engineer for a small independent government agency. Time after time we saw newly graduated engineers come on board expecting a corner office and personal secretary. We coined the phrase “baby engineer” as a generic term for them. The good ones grew out of it, though I know for a fact of at least one who was so disillusioned at being expected to work that he went back to school to pursue a law degree.
I guess Jesus Christ is a boy because he would of flunked #5.
Tell that to the money changers he tossed out of the temple.
You don’t fight because you want to, you fight when you have to. Just because Jesus didn’t fight doesn’t mean he couldn’t or wouldn’t if needed. He knew what he had to do to fulfill his destiny, and that didn’t include fighting.
Michael,
I respectfully disagree. Luke 19 describes Jesus clearing the area around the temple where he felt vendors were disrespecting the House of the Lord. I think that’s well within what #5 is conveying.
Christ didn’t fight? His whole ministry was a fight – a fight to do right in an unjust world, a fight to get people to see the love of God in a barren land, a fight to represent the Father here on earth, and a fight against the forces of Darkness so the light will ultimately win. His death and Resurrection is a victory in the ultimate battle, the one for the souls of humanity. He did what was needed, though it sometimes pained him. (Luke 22:42)
He was the ultimate fighter and one that should be used as an example for every man on this planet.
Pretty sure the entire last book of the Bible is an all-out global war.
Reminds me of a story I once heard of a family driving past an anti-war protest. One of the signs read, “Who would Jesus bomb?” From the back seat comes the voice of a teenage boy, “Ummm…Sodom and Gomorrah.”
For the religiously illiterate who will reply, “That was God, not Jesus”, Christians, of course, believe that Jesus is God.
Yeah? Let’s see *you* go out into a desert for 40 days and nights with nothing but the shirt on your back and live to tell about it, let alone conquer pure evil.
Waitaminute! Jesus directed his apostles to grab swords for self defense at one point. Then of course there is the temple he thrashed. No, I’d disagree that Jesus failed to live up to the standard of number 5. If anything he exemplified number 5′s message in that he showed such restraint and did not allow his machismo to interfere with his message of love.
Read the whole book. The last chapter tell it all
You are wrong, Christ would fight when someone else was being harmed, or the true meaning of religion was threatened, like in the temple. yes he turned the other cheek when He himself was being hurt, to fulfill the prophesies, he had to die, he had to face the cross, he could not fight back then. he did his JOB !
follow his example, do your job, no matter how hard it is.
You think getting crucified for your sorry self is not manly?
apparently you don’t know much about Christ. he fought the money changers, he fought the jews in power (sadducees and Pharisees). he fought satan, and his demons. he fought for your salvation…
That turn the cheek stuff was only for minor altercations.
Real men don’t comment on something they know absolutely nothing about.
Michael K, get a clue. Jesus Christ fought and won the greatest victory ever: a victory over death. To top things off He did that for you, because you would have never stood a chance. A legion of angels at His disposal and He accepted your fate of death from sin, so that you could worship in glory at the foot of His Father’s throne. Pretty BA to me, in fact it out shines “Chuck Norris Bad Ass” by miles.
Really? He fought to stay alive after forty lashes. Then he fought to stay alive while he hauled a wooden crossbeam on his naked back, up a hill, with a crown of woven thorns digging into his scalp, all the while people punched, kicked, and spit at him. Then he fought to stay alive while his wrists were pierced with spikes, all so he could die at the appointed time. Any one of the above would have killed the modern man.
He fought Death and won.
Jesus’ fight is yet to come. And it will be the ultimate of all fights. And he will win severely, really, it won’t be much of any contest. Just make sure you’re on His side!
Remember, Jesus stood up to an angry rock-carrying mob to save a defenseless woman. He also made it clear that the house of God was to be treated as a house of prayer. In this case, he did not use prayer to make his point.
He resolutely stood up to the authorities, foreign (Rome), domestic (Herod) and religious (Pharisees) to proclaim that the glory of the Father was paramount. In all these things Jesus ultimately triumphed as evidence that he is indeed the Son of Man.
Jesus demonstrated not just bravery at these times, but a fortitude of purpose.
Spot on, Mr. Hawkins. Particularly noteworthy are #3 and #5 – producing, and fighting when necessary.
Producing. Too many ‘absentee’ fathers today either don’t support their kids at all, are constantly behind on their child support, or go on disability to get a government check, with a separate check going to their dependent child(ren). The other side is that there are likewise too many mothers who unjustly deny dad visitation, or seek supervised visitation (and not uncommonly upon sometimes false accusations of physical or sexual abuse), or just continually harass dad or talk badly of him to the kid(s). The dynamics of split families is beyond this posting, but suffice it to say that yes, a real man takes responsibility to support his family.
Fighting. It is correct that none of us should go around trying to be Chuck Norris (it is futile to do that anyway – Chuck is Chuck and we’re not, and if you try to steal his ID, he’ll go without sleep until he finds you, won’t need Twitter to do it, & stare at you until your kidneys are liquefied. And remember, we don’t live in a democracy – we live in a Chucktatorship). What you should do when threatened, however, is protect your brood (wife & children) & property, with a swift, powerful & unexpected punch, kick or throat grab to temporarily disorient & disable your opponent sufficiently to give your brood (and possibly, you) time to either get the hell out, get the upper hand, others to step in, or security to show up. If firearms are part of the equation, use them as necessary but make absolutely sure your story includes that you and/or your family were threatened with deadly harm. “Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he threatened to kill me and my wife, and I firmly believed at the time he was capable of doing so. I had no choice but to do what I did.”
Did that feel good? Your name says it all.
Looking after your family is a trust and, sometimes a task, but never a thankless task. As for physical altercations, they can only generate the worst kind of thrill among rational people. I like think most of this board would step up, because they address these sorts of issues rationally. The human body can be a very dangerous thing and anybody with training knows that it’s a two-way street. No thrills for me if I can help it.
If you are Okay, and your family is Okay, then everyone is Okay.
Rock–you’ve got to read it more carefully:
“verbally or, if necessary, physically”
Verbally. Physically only if necessary (e.g., in self-defense).
Too bad our culture stomps on, mocks, ridicules and basically does everything it can to exterminate the men who have qualities 1-5. He is labelled boring, a stiff, a racist, a redneck, the oppressor etc. He is Don Quixote in this culture.
We celebrate our society’s foppish, narcissistic wimps. Women jump from one fop’s bed to another fop’s bed to another and another etc. etc. and society thinks it’s cute.
The joke’s on you, real man.
Ours is a culture that holds up the narcissistic sociopath as the ideal male. Be he squishy or violent, that ideal is what modern culture teaches girls to look for. Sadly, just as our culture pushes males in that direction, it pushes girls to be be sluts and queen bees. It’s working, too: a recent study showed that girls as young as 6 now see themselves as sex objects measuring their worth by attention and popularity. When they get older, number of sex partners and what they will do will be added to the mix.
“Too bad our culture stomps on, mocks, ridicules and basically does everything it can to exterminate the men who have qualities 1-5.”
Until they need their car fixed…
..or another war.
The rare occassions I’m out and run into an old friend, its usually at the VFW.
“Until they need their car fixed.” Amen to that!
You need another culture, captain. They exist, on military bases, and in churches, and in other countries… I support my family, my kids aren’t sluts, I haven’t fought anyone outside of 6th grade and Parris Island and that was more than half a lifetime ago. Good men and women still do what needs to be done.
If you accept mediocrity, you’ll get it.
That’s what I was thinking! On the rare occasions I watch TV, I see people like that, but I surround myself with decent people (including the children we’re raising). (ahem) My husband and sons are man enough to express disapproval of the word “slut” around our daughters so go easy there, William. You probably wouldn’t like the rugby-playing daughter’s reaction, either…
William is right, though. American popular culture is a sewer, and it celebrates the bad behavior which William describes. And many of our schools have similar effects. Its great if you can surround yourself with decent people, but many of us live and work in situations in which that is impossible–situations in which we must deal with the ravages of that horrible culture daily. Many of us cannot afford to live in a cocoon, however nice it might be.
Its great to have a good church and network of family and friends who are decent people. I recommend all of that. But if you have to spend a lot of time with people outside such circles, you will quickly see that William is not exaggerating.
Egil is absolutely right. Well said! I do my best to keep my family from being influenced by American popular culture. Most of it is pure garbage that celebrates the worst and most irresponsible parts of American life.
I couldn’t despise Hollywood more if you paid me. They truly hate America.
I certainly hope you’re not suggesting at a below the belt move from your daughter over a word. If so, that’s an intolerable double standard that would put her a few step below the promiscuous women. If not, and she just tough enough to rough him up in a way that earns her respect, good on her.
Always best these days to avoid attempts at clever hints when it comes to females hurting males, and instead be straight-forward. It shows decency and toughness. Creating a world alongside the liberal, the non-thinking, the immoral, and the careless takes caring.
“the promiscuous women” – even I tried to avoid the word slut. Everyone’s a bit promiscuous, I think, but the main thing is we get one run through life. Mess up and it can be tough. I beggar wanted money for he and his pregnanant wife a few days ago at Walmart. I helped him with $41. Felt fine about it. After I got home I got pissed. I don’t like to help people that hurt kids. How can he feed his kid if he can’t feed himself? If I see them again, he an she are getting a talk. I don’t support abortion, but I support less hurting kids. Cycle of like needs to speed up and baby go to heaven (personal opinion, of course). I think several docs would assist at no charge, but I don’t know. Woman had very small bump, but still, a bump…a baby. A life.
Like
You are correct about most military bases. The very best, safest communities I have ever lived at were Marine Corps bases. We often joked of the small town feel. We knew half the people at chapel, my kids could ride bikes around the neighborhood. I was comfortable being home alone for months at a time etc etc. Some joint command bases were a little ahem..different but the community feeling was the same. My kids are teens now & going to civilian schools. That early exposure as well as their home training,have prepared them to recognize the wrong before they fall into it. They seek like minded friends. My daughter today said “All my friends are not slutty or skanky and are good students”.. her and her friends are beautiful, intelligent young ladies, no dogs with good personalities lol. Take heart for the future!
her boyfriend is one of the most respectful, honest & industrious young men ive ever met. He is a senior, honor roll with AP classes, and works 2 jobs! Yep, another military kid, Air Force, but ar can forgive him for that
My point is that they are out there but because they are living their lives as descent human beings they don’t make the news. It only seems like they have alp disappeared
Yeah, that’s true. But I got thinking about it, some of the most dangerous places (world wide) that I’ve drove through were just outside the gate of navy bases…at least in the 70′s and 80′s that’s the way it was (I had a brick thrown through a windshield within sight of the Charleston Navy Base.)
Not belittling your point or post. Was just a thought after reading it.
Semper Fi, and all that.
Well sure that’s the picture portrayed by the media and tabloid press. And unfortunately it seems the more feeble minded of us have bought into it. But that is not at all how I, my family, and most of my friends view life.
What you describe is not American culture, it’s a subculture forced on us and sold as fact in order to get us to spend more on cheap gaudy baubles sold by the advertisers who promote such excess and irresponsibility.
MISANDRY – the Hatred of Men, Masculinity and Normal Heterosexuality – Pervades our society like hot air in August, and is The Tenure Track in the Pathetic Farce of Academentia.
Such Misandrists Promote a Separatist / Exterminationist Turkey Baster DYKE Agenda of “Death to the Patriarchy” in service of creating “A WORLD DEVOID OF MEN”.
No Kidding, They Use Those Words Themselves in their Legal Pleadings
Men – the Hated ‘Y-DNA BioManPigOppressor’ are to be gotten rid of (like neanderthals of old) – but First Must be De-Genderized like an animal that has been neutered. In Kalifornia the Law has Exterminated ‘Fathers’ and a Boy’s Birth Cert can now list Two Dykes and No Daddy – even though the Boy carries his Male Fathers Y-DNA.
This ‘Turkey Baster Creationism’ is an Orwellian Doublethink that is the foundation of the Abomination – Requiring the Denial of the Scientific Facts of Gender – as well as the Fact that All Reproduction is Heterosexual – Or Else.
This is Not an ‘Absent Father’ gig – But an assertion that No Man was involved in the Creation of a Boy who carries his Y-Chromosome – and the Boy’s Birth Certificate agrees with this lie.
In My Home Town of Frisco (better known as CHINO Nancy’s Sodom by the Sea) the Annual Tax Subsidized Anti Male Hate Riot makes this quite clear – although the Media Quit Reporting on it after the following articles were published – and cited elsewhere:
……………………………………………………………..
See: “Men told not to rain on parade Unity key to Dyke March 50,000 expected at S.F. Dyke March 50,000 expected — MEN NOT ADVISED
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/06/26/MNGKN7CPOL1.DTL&ao=all#ixzz1lGQtPmKS
“A few simple rules are expected to attract more than 50,000 participants to today’s 12th annual Dyke March through San Francisco: no corporate sponsors, no politicians, No Permit to march and NO MEN.”
………………………………………………………………………………..
OR: “Women Rule the World… Create A WORLD DEVOID OF MEN”
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/06/27/BAG0T7D1LT1.DTL
……………………………………………..
OR the anthology book “Lesbians Raising Sons” -
In which author Jess Wells said of the Hatred for the Designated “Little Rapists” (Baby Boys): “the male sperm – had been poured down the sink” –
To prevent the unthinkable shame of a male baby, or as Wells put it: “It was essential that I have a girl…
I was profoundly disappointed. I wept. I sobbed…
it brought up in me a frightening rage at the patriarchy.”…
“I kept thinking of all the concerts from which we would be excluded, all the radical conferences at which we wouldn’t be welcome, all the women’s land on which we could never live.”
”More insidious, there is a move afoot to regulate access to sperm…”
And how do these notoriously short sighted cu*ts think their replacements are going to come about, divine creation? American women, for the most part, are self centered, spoiled little airhead bitches who’ve been told their whole lives that they are ‘princesses’ and deserve special treatment. Because of this I have given up on American women. The misandry is revolting. There are literally MILLIONS of beautiful, sweet, supportive women who dream of being a mommy and a wife and have no problem with rearing children. Why do you think mail order brides are so popular?
American women used to have it MADE. Get married, have a couple kids, support your husbands efforts and NOT have to go to work for someone else. Feminism has ruined things for American women. They have to do all the former duties PLUS pay the bills, sometimes by themselves. And they have Andrea, Betty and Gloria to thank for it.
Unfortunately, what you say is true. My wife is Asian; I never in a thousand years would’ve married and American woman.
Devil Dog,
You are over-generalizing a bit there. Does the culture attempt to do all the things you have stated? Yes. Is it successful in doing so? Yes, and No.
You have to look in the right places. Stay away from the coasts and the cities. If you are in the city and/or on the coast (or both), then look at the churches. Even there, you’ll need to be careful because some of them have bought into the liberal feminist agenda. I think you will find what you are looking for at Catholic, Evangelical, some non-denominational churches, and Jewish synagogues. Mormon too I guess.
If you are college age, look to the private religious universities.
And remember that there are plenty of good women out there who are confused but not completely lost. Keep the faith, and don’t end up bashing all women just like we have seen all men get bashed for the last several decades.
Jesus also did not directly address homosexuality and a host of other issues because he was on a special – thankfully for our sake – mission to do ONE thing.
But since we believe that Jesus is part of the Godhead and that HE is the same yesterday, today, and forever (see Hebrews), we do not NEED this to be addressed again as the Old Testament makes clear who God is and what he wants from us (Micah 6:8 for example). In Luke we also have Jesus telling the disciples to sell some of their garments to buy a SWORD. This is perhaps the only New Testament reference by Jesus to the idea of fighting and in this case SELF DEFENSE.
God does not change. There is no contradiction between what he said in the old and new testaments. Sometimes his will includes self defense and even active war making. Yeah, tough huh? God is God and often his way does not square with what we think should be,
“God is God and often his way does not square with what we think should be”
Yup, but “we” think we know everything, and anyone who says otherwise “doesnt reflect Chicago Values” Donchknow
These differences are what we want to teach our daughters (assuming some judge and/or vindictive ex hasn’t made that impossible).
So what do you think are the differences between girls and real women? What should we be teaching our sons?
Teach your sons:
If you sleep with her, you might have offspring from her DNA, and you might have to have a lifelong relationship with your “baby mama”.
Choose your spouse based on her integrity and moral character, not her looks. Prettiness fades, beauty does not.
A lot of women don’t like men; stay away from them, even overnight.
“In a place where there are no men. Strive to be a man.”
Rabbi Hillil
I can sum it up in one dictate…
Be useful to women.
Oh, and don’t forget, don’t display any aggressive male behaviors, these days listed as pathologies, that might alarm the poor dears while you are in this state of usefulness to women, or the law will run in to rescue the poor damsel by carting you off in irons.
You left out #6, have plenty of assets, cash, and income for her so seize in the divorce settlement. That is the definition of a good man to most women these days.
Articles on what’s wrong with men are passe, a dime a dozen. We have all heard this dozens of times before.
The men we have are the ones women chose for themselves. They chose them by the men they selected for sperm donors and they then molded the spawn of their favored bad boys and metrosexuals into the basement dwelling gamers of today in the schools women run.
You ask men to “Man Up” and become something women desire. I ask, are there any women worthy of real men? I think it is time for women to “Woman Up” and make themselves into something a man would desire.
Way back when, the manly man knew that he’d likely find a good woman who honestly desired to be a good wife and mother and her plan for the distant future was feed her grandchildren way too many cookies after Grandpa took them fishing.
Bring back women like that and young men might get motivated to play the game again.
Until that happens, I recommend they plan for the bachelor life; to waste their meager income from bartending on a big TV, a motorcycle, and a sports car, and never have enough income, assets, or ambition to make you a target for one of the gold digging whores that our schools are churning out these days.
Young men didn’t create this mess, it isn’t their problem to solve.
~ ~ ~
For the Author,
I suggest you watch this until you no longer desire sex or football.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw
Sorry, couldn’t make it 5 seconds before the urge to wretch was all consuming. Yet, I still desire sex and the upcoming football season. Now, if we could just get rid of that candyass Roger Goodell.
Let me fix that link…
http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/5sh8
That’s better. Don’t say I never did anything for ya.
Ha ha. That was a much improved version.
Thanks, I hadn’t see that.
“A real man is a leader who can make decisions: A lot of women won’t admit this, but most of them absolutely hate being the one who makes the decisions in a relationship.”
Well yes they do but it kind of works like this:
She: Do you think we should go with the red curtains or the yellow ones?
He: We should get the red ones.
She: Are you crazy? I hate the red ones. They clash with everything in the house. I am not living with red curtains in the kitchen!
He: Oh. The yellow ones then.
She: Thank you honey. I just couldn’t make up my mind.
Perhaps the author should have added a sixth difference – real men know what kinds of decisions are appropriate for them to make.
The wife in your example is looking for help to clarify her thinking. He needs to say something like, “Sounds like you are not sure what colour would work.” Now she knows he has actually listened to her and is not trying to take over. Real women, remember, hate being told what to do.
I would add a specific when it comes to responsibility. Real men acknowledge and support their offspring. They are a part of their children’s lives, and teach their sons to treat women in a chivalrous manner.
Males who father children and do not take care of them are not qualified to be called human, let alone men. They are just bipedal animals.
That is complete garbage. You have clearly lived in a cave for the last 45 years.
Most single mothers are so by choice. The father didn’t ‘abandon them’, you idiot. Instead, SHE had the police kick the man out, while taking his money. He is not allowed to see his kids, while strange men come to the house that the kids live in, because the mother wants to be a slut.
The problem in the 21st century is women, not men. Too bad you are not part of the 21st century.
I am soooooo glad that more men are deciding to become pickup artists rather than hard workers. That is what the incentives are around, after all.
‘Respect women’? Why? Why is someone entitled to more respect than the other gender? Do you tell women to respect men?
Loser..
racist
Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent…
Yes, that describes my dog to a ‘T’.
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
–Lazarus Long (Robert Heinlein)
Not a man. Never wanted to be one either. But I am fortunate enough to live out in the rural west where men still live and work. Last week we lost one of the real men. His name was Jim Davis. He was in his 90′s and a full time rancher of several sections right up till The End. Jim would have lived longer, I suspect, if a few years back a gas company worker hadn’t left his front gate open. Jim’s best horse got out and was killed on the road. Jim got himself a raw colt and came to grief over it. That accident started his downhill slide but Jim never quit keeping on.
Rest well Old Friend. You were the only man I ever met in real life who could have carried off being called Tex.
A definition of manhood for politicians in coming years:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you…..
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if/
More important is a definition of what makes a woman,
and most important of all, a recipe for increasing
the percentage of girls who grow up to be women,
because, face it guys, in the final analysis,
men build the sort of world that women want.
I gave a young American man a copy of The Futurist’s “The Misandry Bubble.” He said it changed his whole life. He had been set to marry an American girl. She dumped him, then decided she wanted him back. In the interim, he had read the article. When she came around again, she told him, “You have to forgive me.” He laughed and told her, “No, I don’t.” He is now set to marry a wonderful Korean girl (raised in Korea) in December. My guess is that he will live a much happier life with her than he would have with the American girl.
I just moved back from Seoul after 3 yrs. You would be surprised at the level of pants wearing in the family. They just do it in different ways
As Autdrew said, the typical Asian in a machismo culture has a different tact for male manipulation, but it still exists. I was in the Navy for 20 years, I’ve seen many a man married to a Filipino wife, and most of them are miserable. First, even if they are raised strictly Catholic in a place like the Philippines, as soon as they get to American they start to become Americanized, as we say. It doesn’t take long before they develop into their own special brand of nag, a mix of two cultures.
I’ve been married to a Filipina for 29 years. When we first went to Filipino gatherings, people would ask where we’d met. For the record, we met in college in Alabama but since I was in the Air Force, they expected the answer to be Olangopo (sp) or Subic Bay. What they were asking is if my wife was a whore that I met at a bar off base. A great deal depends on where and how you meet an Asian woman.
When she got her US citizenship several years later, she used to joke that “I used to do that for you but I’m an American woman now. Get it yourself!”
I’ve known two straight men with homosexual tendencies married to Filipinas. At first I thought the wives were “beards” in exchange for “papers”, but maybe there’s something to the demasculating nag theory.
You’re right on with #2. Yes, we women do sometimes use our men as foils to help us make decisions, but more often, we want to make group decisions, or have someone take the pressure off altogether and take the decision-making lead. I’m absolutely serious.
In fact, right this minute, I just asked my husband for the FOURTH TIME in fifteen minutes what he wants to eat. He is STILL thinking it over. Meanwhile, I’m super hungry, but he doesn’t like what I want to eat (sushi), so since we’re both eating at wherever we end up, it would be rude for me to just be like, “Hey, we’re getting sushi, shut up and drive.” If he doesn’t make a decision soon, though, that’s what he’s getting. Just make a decision! It’s not hard!
YOW. Where do I even begin?!
“Yes, we women do sometimes use our men as foils to help us make decisions, but more often, we want to make group decisions, or have someone take the pressure off altogether and take the decision-making lead. I’m absolutely serious.”
You indeed may be serious, but please speak for yourself alone. Try out this line on any one of America’s talented female executives or hard-working small business owners and the BEST reaction you’ll get is a full-on belly-laff.
“In fact, right this minute, I just asked my husband for the FOURTH TIME in fifteen minutes what he wants to eat. He is STILL thinking it over.”
Ummm, why are you asking him the same question four times in fifteen minutes? I don’t care which genders in which combinations are involved, that’s just plain obnoxious in any context except mother-to-toddler.
“Meanwhile, I’m super hungry…”
So eat already! Why are you waiting for HIM? He’ll eat what he wants, when he’s ready to!
“…but he doesn’t like what I want to eat (sushi), so since we’re both eating at wherever we end up…”
You wouldn’t be having these problems if you tried something radical…like, say, COOKING AT HOME? If you tried that for a change he’d have a reasonable selection of tasty leftovers available anytime he wanted them, and/or a fridge & pantry well- and regularly-stocked with foods he likes and is perfectly capable of making himself with a minimum of effort. Or you could (gasp!) even make one of those staples for him YOURSELF, while waiting for the sushi you ordered in.
“…it would be rude for me to just be like, ‘Hey, we’re getting sushi, shut up and drive.’”
Yes. It would be.
“If he doesn’t make a decision soon, though, that’s what he’s getting.”
It sounds to me like he’s eating humble pie and crow on a pretty regular basis.
“Just make a decision! It’s not hard!”
Indeed it is NOT hard; there’s a divorce lawyer on practically every block these days, and the sooner he retains one the better.
Definition given to me: “A real man or woman is by his/her efforts one who can support the lives of 20 other people.”
I like that definition.
To me it means a real man or woman is one who works and pays taxes that support 20 freeloaders. Does that sum it up?
Interestingly, the definition is over a hundred years old. In todays cultures the implication is that it is about taxes and freeloaders as a mainstay. Then the implication was that a person could build some industry and provide work and a living for more than themselves. “Work and a living” apparently are no longer congruent in pop culture.
General statement real men have God, elevating spirituality, a sense of necessary sacrifice. Our sensitive liberals have anti-depressants and view their sadness as a hormonal imbalance.
The hypocracy of it all it that the “popular American Culture” is designed by Hollywood liberals who then send their trash out to the entire world. Liberals then claim the world hates Americans because we are such goobers. So The World hates the Americans prortrayed by Hollywood, then Hollywood mocks Americans because we are hated by the world. It’s enough to make your head spin.
See the new NBC sitcom titled “The New Normal” (only saw the ads)- The “conservative” mom is played a far left lib. I doubt she has ever met a conservative woman in her life, but she is possitive she knows exactly how they act.
I used to say that exact thing about “The Old West.” Hollywood has created a caricature of the Old West. Politicians regularly reference that caricature when they want to do something like ban guns. They’ll infer lack of gun control will leave our streets like the old West. The Old West of Hollywood, of course.
Missing from the list:
A real man:
Will sacrifice for others when necessary – even to the point of life itself
Puts the needs of others before himself in matters big and small
Looks to protect others – especially those weaker and more vulnerable
Is supportive and encouraging of others – helps others become their best
Thinks of duty and principle – but not rigidly or blindly
Lives his life according to values – even when it’s not easy
Is an example to others, without judging them or cutting them down
Btw – I have five sons (and two daughters) and I’ve tried to raise them in ways that embody the above ideals.
Gene Autry’s Code of the Cowboy:
1. The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
2. He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
3. He must always tell the truth.
4. He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.
5. He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
6. He must help people in distress.
7. He must be a good worker.
8. He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.
9. He must respect women, parents, and his nation’s laws.
10. The Cowboy is a patriot.
There’s a man. There’s a ‘real man’, usually defined by a woman according to her needs at the moment. Then there’s a grown man.
A real man says what he means and he means what he says.
Highly orchestrated misandry destroyed the US Forest Service. Thirty years ago the agency epitomized all the qualities of manhood highlighted in this column. It is now dead, flat on its back, a victim a hundred thousand knife strokes,delivered by feminism and general political correctness. Today, it is unable to put out the very fires its incompetent employees start.
Mr. Hawkins should read the immense amount of detail in “The Tinder Box How Political Correctness Destroyed the U.S. Forest Service,” C. Burchfield, Stairway Press. After absorbing its stark, tragic narrative, Mr. Hawkins will likely rewrite this column.
What you’re actually talking about is the meaning of a grown up. It seems many people these days are content to remain children.
Robert Heinlein’s “Lazarus Long” quotes are the best description of being a real man. I found the Lazarus Long quote book in a bookstore once and started reading it. I found that it was almost identical to my own worldview.
I believe very strongly that a defining trait of a real man is the ability to come up with a long-term dream or goal, and to commit himself to such an objective, come hell or high water. A real man will never allow anything or anyone to interfere with his attempt to pursue such a vision. Lesser men are incapable of such an accomplishment.
The Albert Einstein poster says it best:
Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Having been involved in life extension and transhumanism since the late 80′s (I am actually one of the creators of the transhumanist movement, starting in 1986), I can definitely tell you this is certainly true.
Real men would not read an article like this.
Another Heinlein quote.
When the need arises — and it does — you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don’t farm it out — that doesn’t make it nicer, it makes it worse.
I believe Mr. Hawkins has covered the subject of manhood quite well. However, I’d say that every responsiblity he covered on being a real man applies equally to being a real woman. A marriage to be a good one requires a partnership of two moral, self-reliant individuals assisting each other in the journey we call “life.” Both parties, as well as any children, need to know that when the chips are down they can rely the other, and with God goes the rest.
I have a simple question….what’s in it for the MAN?
A real man gets the job done:
A real man is a leader who can make decisions:
A real man produces:
A real man takes responsibility:
A real man is willing to fight:
Good,nice…now, just exactly WHO are you doing these things for?
A man can work for YEARS, producing money, fixing things, leading the household, making decisions, fighting to protect his family, taking his responsibility as a man, husband and father seriously…
so what will protect him if his wife decides to chuck it all in favor for another man who gives her ‘gina tingles? A man who follows your ‘script’ to the letter has NO protection and NO support to help him. Most people will say he ‘deserved it’ or ‘he didn’t cater to her FEELINGS or needs’ He then can lose his HOUSE, HIS KIDS, HIS FAMILY, HIS WIFE, HIS REPUTATION, HIS JOB all on someone else’s whim. He acted like a ‘real man’, so what does he get for it- nothing. He loses EVERYTHING that made him a ‘real man’ and what did he get out of it…to be expendable, a slave, a workhorse who has to rebuild his life. Is he still a ‘real man’ or a ‘loser as society paints him to be?
After many years of watching human behavior, I have observed repeatedly that people defend what they value. Since women have done absolutely nothing to defend anything male (except access to male wallets), the obvious conclusion is that they don’t value men.
It seems that a lot of men don’t even think about asking “what’s in it for me?” or are conditioned to feel that this is not how they should think at all.
So, before you become a ‘real man’, ask yourself how it benefits YOU. Because you’re going to be doing all the work, and everyone else will reap the benefits, shame and belittle you if you fail, and replace you once you can no longer be of use to them. If being a ‘real man’ means giving away my masculinity to those that don’t EARN it, then why be a ‘real man’?
Just be a Man who Goes His Own Way.
Deathslayer
Well said. This article is just another screed by a man who appears to have lived in a cave for the last 45 years..
Men have no obligations to do anything for women, unless women are required to do the same.
Since modern American society incentivizes men to become pickup artists rather than family men, some men are choosing that, and are right to do so.
I am soooo glad that for the first time ever, men are deciding not to put themselves last..
re: Fighting. Someone who goes around causing fights is a thug. Someone who finishes them, decisively, in the defense of himself or others, is a man.
“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”
I suspect that John Hawkins does not have the courage to write a similar article about what a ‘Real Woman’ should behave like.
None of the 5 traits that John Hawkins listed, is attractive to women. What is attractive to women is usually the opposite, as pickup artists have proved.
A man should only be productive, responsible, and a leader if HE wants to be, and HE benefits from it. He does not have an obligation to be useful to women…
I remain overwhelmingly a fan of Hawkins’ blog; however, when conservatives address gender issues, they usually reveal how their ideological beliefs are as toxic to society as liberal feminists’ beliefs.
Quite simply, they “should” on society every bit as much as the fem-libs they claim to loathe. It is nothing but projection, and contributes nothing to intelligent conversation.