Kristen Stewart’s Hard Fall: Cheating on Boyfriend Robert Pattinson with a Married Man
In this case, Stewart’s colossal mistake was the “I’m too young to settle down” freak-out. By most accounts, Stewart, 22, has had only two boyfriends. She’s been with Pattinson for about three years. They live together. Rumor has it they’ve been talking about marriage and children. I can guarantee that she has women she trusts telling her that she needs to do more before she settles down. That she has already done more in her career and traveled more around the world than most women ever do doesn’t matter. “You are only 22. You’re too young to settle down,” is what the little devil on her shoulder whispers during conversations about commitment or when she feels a connection with an older and supposedly wiser man. Thus, the freak-out.
By the time a woman is out of her 20s, she has seen the freak-out often. It takes many forms: a sudden breakup, a party binge, a fling — or three. Mixing the party binge with flings is particularly explosive — a drunk woman putting out signals that she wants a good time. The lucky women are those who end up merely embarrassed. Stewart went the fling route.
22 with a 41 year old. really? did she already have daddy issues, or is it just ‘research’?
http://www.sugarscape.com/node/722975
In an interview with this month’s issue of Elle Magazine, the Twilight star admitted that she would love to play Peyton Loftis – the lead character in novel ‘Lie Down in Darkness’ – a girl with serious daddy issues.
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I’m going with daddy issues. Those two look remarkably alike.
Your analysis is the best I’ve read.
My impression of Rob is that he is impressed with his parents’ long lasting marriage and wants the same for himself.
I would expect that he is at a friend’s home, getting thoroughly drunk.
Thanks. My impression is the same as yours, for each of them. And yeah, he’s probably drunk now. Soon he will start getting bad advice from his friends, probably of the sow some wild oats variety. He won’t have a shortage of takers, but that will be hollow comfort.
I commented on Kristen because I could make the point about the induced freakout, which is a huge problem in society, but I’m annoyed that she’s taking the brunt of the criticism when director guy is much more culpable. To be clear, I think she’s plenty culpable, but he is 20 years her senior, with a wife and children, and he took advantage of a naive young girl. She was stupid on so many levels and is quickly learning how much she screwed up her life, but he, he should have known what kind of wreckage this would cause.
Couldn’t it be part of that whole ‘lifestyle’ where they are ‘committed’ but rarely see each other because they are working so hard on their own separate professional lives?
And believing that they can maintain this relationship at long distance, without any formal promises inherent in a marriage?
Both of them are so emblematic of people their age, where they can ‘have it all’, without any sacrifice of time or effort. She worked on 2 movies lately, as has he, with short and no doubt intense re-unions. But humans don’t function like that in the real world, not if they desire long term relationships.
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“Without any sacrifice” that is the ultimate lie in all of the stuff we are taught about love. The Love Myth holds that as long as you find the right person, no sacrifice or hardship on your part will be required. So when it doesn’t work out that way, we assume that the person must not be The One for us. But all love requires sacrifice. All love requires more than you think you are willing to give. And if you make the leap of faith and give it, lo, you find out that there was more to you than you thought.
But we’ve long forgotten that.
Leslie, I’m completely with you in your criticism of the director. However, I’m not willing cutting Kristen any slack with the “young and naive” bit. If she’s old enough to vote and enter into contracts, she’s old enough to exercise a bit of responsibility in her personal relationships.
Man I’m getting old! It was only yesterday that Stewart was that little girl beside Jodi Foster in Panic Room.
What Feminism hath wrought: Be a ‘ho, Mr. Right will still want you (not!).
In the olden days, Rob Pattinson would be called a ‘cuckold’. Maybe the days are not so ‘olden’ after all.
Pig.
In the early 70s, when my parents got married, my mom was 19 and my dad was 27. When she got married, it was perfectly normal for a 19 year-old to get married, and they are still married to this day. If you want to have children and a family, the ideal time to start is late teens/early twenties.
Robert should dump this broad. He is rich and popular, he can get any girl he wants.
Sounds like that is exactly what he’s doing.
As a man who is out of the dating pool, but had to deal with his share of crazy chicks back in my 20′s, I’m rooting for him to make a public example of her.
The Mormons get this right: set up a household in your early 20s, have children, and get a life. Compare the Romneys to the Obamas.
He can get any girl he wants, but therein lies a trap for him. Because of his hunk status, his wealth, how will he ever be sure that a woman wants him for him rather than the idea of Robert Pattinson? Throw in his damaged ability to trust, and finding a deep relationship like the ones some of us commenters have, like his parents reportedly have–he has a long and lonely road ahead.
He can’t be sure but at least there’s a chance. He is still in a better position than she is. Because any future boyfriend will be quite sure that he’s with someone who can’t be trusted when out of view.
Its like that runaway bride case back in 2005. No need to worry about getting caught up in the same situation again because no guy in his right mind would put a ring on her finger.
BTW Leslie, I really like it that you are willing to engage with your readers, the give and take adds considerable depth to the article.
He’s in a better position, certainly. Her life as she knew it, everything, it’s done. It is possible for her pull a phoenix, but it won’t be in acting and probably won’t be with Pattinson, or any other decent guy for the foreseeable future.
Glad you like the extra commentary. I love it. I rarely got any at my blog, even though I begged. I was courting the other side and most women my age are reluctant to go on record on the web. Helps me focus for other writing and is easier to do with 4 young ones underfoot.
Since when is a Hollywood personality cheating considered newsworthy?? It’s sad and effects the same harmful consequences, but it is far from being something out of the ordinary.
I’m with BBReggie. Please don’t go down this “Hollywood Gossip” road. It’s one of the things that bother me about foxnews.com. I come here for news that the MSM won’t publish not who’s cheating on who.
You, and many others might come here for such news. That’s great. There is, however, a large swath of the population that still thinks skimming the NYT makes them informed, and another large swath that doesn’t read hard news at all, some because they don’t know where to find it. Right now, many of them are googling this. I’m trying not to dish straight gossip but talk about the underlying topic, cheating, that is raging on certain sections of the internet. If I can help even a few by explaining the cultural issues involved and by introducing them to a site where they might find other news of interest, I’m doing it. I understand that the gossip might not be your cup of tea so comment on the social issues implicated.
As another fan of Ms. Stewart’s, I appreciate your article and position. Getting a better grip on culture is a long-overdue problem for too many conservatives, and a significant reason why GOP candidates lose too many elections to the left.
…or maybe she’s just as vapid and narcissistic as the rest of Young Hollywood?
That is possible. Much of Hollywood’s moral drama can be explained by the fact it is full of people who are fawned over and who believe their own press. But Stewart has interested me for a while. She vehemently rejected the typical Hollywood mold so my bet is that she is more the typical girl caught in an extraordinary life. Ditto for Pattinson. I’m not alone in this assessment and young girls in particular are watching and are sickened by these events. It hurts them more because they actually believed this one. They are asking why? and what now? I’m not about to leave the field clear for the popular cultural wardens to answer and make a bigger mess.
“I’m not about to leave the field clear for the popular cultural wardens to answer and make a bigger mess.”
Bravo! Keep fighting the good fight Leslie.
Someone fill me in, please: Is Miss Stewart a moral icon, who has held herself up as an example all her contemporaries ought to emulate? Or is she a movie star?
Let’s be a bit more realistic about the proclivities of celebrities. Like anyone else with too much time on his hands, a celebrity is more likely than not to do foolish and self-destructive things. If you want to detoxify them for your children’s sake, just pointing that out is normally enough.
In a way, we’re fortunate to have such examples of bad behavior. Would we have any slightest chance of convincing our kids to keep control of themselves, if we had none such to point to?
Is Miss Stewart a moral icon, who has held herself up as an example all her contemporaries ought to emulate? Or is she a movie star?
Not by choice, but she became one nonetheless because young women look to her that way. She is the pretty and successful, independent young woman attached to one of the most crushable young men. They saw her as an example. That this is foolish on their part, that it is the result of the lack of standards in society–that’s interesting but in the rear view mirror.
Ah! I see at last! Anyone who’s in the public eye for any reason is automatically transformed from what he really is and prefers to be, to what others think of him! He cannot have a moment’s privacy, regardless of the reason; he cannot violate others’ standards, however bluenosed or foolish they may be. His only possibilities for space in which to act on his own preferences are to hide from the press and the paparazzi, or to depart from whatever trade brought him to public attention. Greta Garbo’s attitude is much more comprehensible in that light.
Myself, I prefer basketball star Charles Barkley’s attitude: “I am not a role model.” No hedging; no blushing. Indeed, America’s parents should make it unnecessary for him — or Kristen Stewart — to say so. But we tend to farm out that sort of chore to the government-run schools these days; it allows us more time for our own foolish, self-destructive indulgences.
Not exactly Francis. Perception is reality, and is a significant challenge for public persons to manage. Ms. Stewart attempted to manage that perception by choosing film projects wisely, shunning Tinseltown hot spots (thus avoiding perception altering paparazzi), and building strong relationships with many older, experienced actors she respected.
I wonder why no one writes stories about how disappointed they are with 20 year-old male rock stars who bonk everything in sight, married or not?
It kills me how FoxNews and other outlets go crazy because female stars like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez start acting like foolish young adults when they become old enough to be foolish young adults.
Oh, my God!!! Miley Cyrus wearks skimpy outfits and admits to having sex with her boyfriend!!! The world must be coming to an end!!! Isn’t she supposed to act like a 12 year-old her entire life???
Am I really supposed to be surprised and upset that Kirsten Stewart was caught sucking face with her movie director, who is twice her age? I thought it was common knowledge that most Hollywood actresses sucked something else on a regular basis to get roles. They don’t talk about casting couches because people sit on them.
Stewart’s a dumb 20 year-old in an atmosphere more immoral than most. This might be of prurient interest to the kind of people who read National Enquirer and the Globe, but excuse me if I’m not consumed with interest and outrage.
“I wonder why no one writes stories about how disappointed they are with 20 year-old male rock stars who bonk everything in sight, married or not?”
Patience. I’m typing as fast as I can. I told Dave I’d have something for the male side of the cheating story by this morning, but that was before my 4 year olds got tummy bugs. As soon as I can get it finished, same theme: society creates the very characters it condemns, different details: it makes guys harder, meaner, colder, etc.
Why is this even worthy of space on PJM? Hollywood produces movies that portray the worst of humans and then is shocked when one of the young angels is involved in an affair. Stewart has admitted she has never done anything on the dark side in her life and apparently, she decided this would be a good thing for her to do. Don’t blame the older man, she knew exactly what she was doing.
Again, wouldn’t this story be better for the rags and tabloids instead of PJM?
Please see my reply to Groucho, above.
Who? x 3
Waste of space. Yet another story about a sulky, talentless little girl, and her equally talentless Metrosexual co-star.
Move along…nothing to see here…
Agreed. I kept reading, hoping there was more to it than the author’s disappointment that her judgement of this girl’s character was off by a mole. Apparently she thought Kristen Stewart was more than just a fallible human.
Did it ever occur to her that Ms. Stewart blew up her relationship because it wasn’t working for her anymore? It happens all the time. Classic passive aggressive break-up.
Agreed. I kept reading, hoping there was more to it than the author’s disappointment that her judgement of this girl’s character was off by a mile. Apparently she thought Kristen Stewart was more than just a fallible human.
Did it ever occur to her that Ms. Stewart blew up her relationship because it wasn’t working for her anymore? It happens all the time. Classic passive aggressive break-up.
Don’t understand the fame of this woman — she is almost borderline ugly and certainly no beauty. Must be one of those chicks who is only deemed attractive because she’s thin and expressionless, apparently brainless?
Borderline ugly?
Really?
I think she’s attractive. Not the greatest beauty I have ever seen, but definitely pretty.
Not sure she’s any dumber than your average 20 year-old either. People that young are unwise by nature – more “kid” than “adult,” in most cases. That’s why they can’t drink legally. You can’t expect her to behave with the maturity and wisdom of a 35 year-old.
Yes, Kristen is ‘only’ 22 years old. So, in our infantilised culture, she is ‘young’. Not so long ago, in the western world, a boy of 14 was reckoned to be a ‘man’, and liable to be in the army. Most people were sent to another home or business to be an apprentice. In the Scottish Highlands, boys left home to be herders, and girls, to be kitchen help.
This is where the Mormons have it right: marriage and building a family is expected among men in their early 20s and girls in their late teens and early 20s.
Kristen and Rob had a good thing going in their relationship. From a remark sent on twitter by one of Rob’s sisters, his family would agree with me.
Kristen is not too ‘young’ to understand about loyalty. She is learning that lesson right now, the very hardest way it is possible to learn.
In yesteryear, that was indeed the case and the expectation.
In todayworld, kids are expected to attend at least 4 years of college and more to even have a shot at earning as much as their parents did somewhere down the road. Combine that with overall crappy American parenting, and it takes them longer to grow up.
So, no…I don’t expect the kind of maturity from a 22 year-old I’d expect from a 30-something who is married. Neither would I expect the wisdom, which only comes with age and life experience.
That’s not to say what she did wasn’t disloyal, but let’s get serious. People’s closest friends and family don’t have the full story on an intimate relationship, so you know even less about whether she had a “good thing” than Rob’s sisters and family. (BTW, why are YOU on a first name basis with him? It’s not like you know him personally.)
Lastly, why is this any of our business? If people weren’t obsessed with celebrities enough to publicize and comment on their personal lives, no one would have to worry about what kind of “example” Stewart set.
“If people weren’t obsessed with celebrities enough to publicize and comment on their personal lives, no one would have to worry about what kind of “example” Stewart set.”
True, but why are people obsessed with celebrities? Modern society has no moral standards, so we look to the rich and famous because we figure they are doing something right. The lack of standards is the root problem, but we can’t remedy that until we show why the standards are necessary, how they avoid debacles like this.
Well, what’s newsworthy isn’t this woman in particular, it’s the author’s contention that she’s emblamatic of a larger problem in our society. Men and women used to get married at her age and make their marriages last. Stick together and raise the kids. Now somehow that’s become undoable? Women are delaying having kids, is that ultimately good or bad? You can make arguments either way. What’s the problem with commitment and living up to it? Is it unreasonable to think 20 somethings not go breaking up other’s marriages? Sure, he’s scum and untrustworthy and responsible for his decisions but when you’re living with someone isn’t their some expectation of commitment, keeping it in your pants?
Anyway, better she freaks out at 22 and breaks up one relationship than freak out in her 40′s thinking she settled down too quickly and break up her family and leave her kids. You may not be aware of it, but that’s been happening a lot in our society- older women bailing on their families and kids. I’m just one of many men I know in that situation- you might think I must be awful if she left, if I am, why did she leave the kids with me and now just visits them?
For those who don’t think this is newsworthy, it isn’t. But the question of this cautionary tale as a harbinger of how society puts bad ideas in the heads of young people is.
This line describes the problem perfectly – “we create the very immaturity we use as evidence of their immaturity.”
Kristen Stewart’s fate is hardly something to write him about. However, the pattern of our society dictating that youth can’t make decisions that they can hold to for life is disturbing. They make all too many decisions that affect their lives for the worse (STDs, lost opportunities, lack of loyalty) and it’s disturbing that as a society we say, “Oh that’s just life for a 20-something.” How about we say instead, “You can learn something from other people’s mistakes instead of making them all yourself.”
I agree, the movie stars are just the messengers in Ms. Loftis’ article. The headline was badly chosen and probably starts people thinking that this is just another E!-type gossip column.
I could pick Stewart and Pattinson out of a line-up, I guess, but other than that I don’t know who they are, nor do I care. But this is an interesting take on what may have gone on in Stewart’s brain.
Dear me, another classic, misogynistic article about a “bad” woman. She must behave, lest, she be excluded and left sad, fat, old and alone, as a result of her being a Bad Girl. I mean, she might find herself without a man at 35. Shock! Horror!
I’ve seen this paradigm played out far too many times. She has a brain. She has wealth. Regardless of those two facts, she can choose on her own how to live her life, and what brings her the most joy. Others (including the men involved) can choose as well, and I’m sure they have and will. Its all about that marvelous value we Americans have, called “Freedom”.
It is rather presumptuous of us to assume we know what is better. We may not choose to act in similar fashions, and make our own mistakes, but those are the result of our choice, not someone elses… hopefully.
Hmmmn. Which bandwagon do you get on when men cheat? Does such understanding extend to men? Or, as I expect, do you quickly seek justifications when women harm men by saying to yourself, “He must have deserved that,” no matter how horrible a woman’s crime. Toss in a few jokes while your at it to sound “hip” and practice being unaffected?
I’m guessing you have no standards, despite all your freedom. You’re free and absent of common sense to not realize being trustworthy, kind, and fair – as much as possible – works.
I think that it’s fairly reasonable, not to mention moral (a concept which may sound somewhat foreign to you, at least as a trait to be desired) that one refrains from having a fling with a married parent. It doesn’t matter what one’s age or sex is in that regard.
Stewart is partially but directly responsible for the harm that has happened to Ross and the children. The fact that Sanders is the final arbiter between them and Stewart does not absolve her of her guilt.
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Yeah, that definitely sounds like she’s suffused with “joy.”
“Seattle Liberal,” you sound very lonely.
1. It’s not “an affair”. It’s adultery.
2. Anybody who is “shocked” has serious problems.
I can guarantee that she has women she trusts telling her that she needs to do more before she settles down. That she has already done more in her career and traveled more around the world than most women ever do doesn’t matter.
“Do more” in this context means “do more men”, not travel or make more movies.
I know. I know. I was attempting discretion. But I should have told it like it is. Yes, girlfriends–and some mothers–encourage young women to have lots of sex partners in their 20′s. It is supposed to help us make more informed choices about a mate. It actually gets us well practiced at being used as sex objects and then discarded, something I could have sworn the feminists of the 70′s were against.
I was one of those 70s feminists, and Sex was completely weird: there were those who wanted nothing to do with men, and who became ‘political lesbians’. Then there were those who sought an absolutely equal ‘relationship’ with a man who often looked like a eunuch.
The real power for feminists came with the Law. I know of a sure way to make a male employee bow and scrape: pull the ‘are you saying that because I’m a woman???” Awful.
Anyway, I have to admit that I know LOT about Kristen and Rob. Right now, she is rending her garments and pouting dust on her head. I really hope they get it together. She knows she made a mistake. They are 2 nice people, really.
I worry that she’s past the rending and spiraling down to despair. She’s probably got two types of people talking to her, one telling her what a horrible person she is and the other trying to convince her that she was only following her heart, so she really did nothing wrong. She’s too smart and caring to believe the latter. She agrees with the former, but those people aren’t going to help her now. They’d rather make an example of her. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have done what she’s done and to care. If the despair doesn’t claim her quickly, then she might try numbing the pain in some addiction–then the despair will just crush her slowly. On the off chance that she ever sees this comment, my dear your only option is to get down on your knees and ask for help. This is not the kind of thing you can survive on your own.
I agree on her options. Probably the most valuable contribution she could make to society and her fans at this point would be to go full Lindsay Lohan and die before she is 30 of a drug overdose or in a drunken driving accident. Although, entering a convent might be a reasonable alternative.
Most likely she will go the Ellen Barkin, Sharon Stone route trying to persuade people to pay attention to her long after the parade has moved on. If I were a better person I would pity her.
I hope that she has someone around her–maybe even Rob’s family–telling her to just take some time to breathe.
If she were my daughter, or my sister, or my brother’s long-time girlfriend, I’d remind her that time, and prayer, heal all wounds. And that the best thing she can do for him right now is to give him space-a lot of space. And to understand that there is every possibility that there could be a future for them, but that it’s going to take a lot of time, patience, honesty, growth and prayer. And that God uses all things for good, but often in ways we don’t understand immediately and on a timeline we can’t see.
Heather, interesting comment about the ’70s… My impression of that era was that, in a weird way, male/female relationships were actually very paleo. There was an expectation that, at least for a group of alpha males, women were expected to hop into the sack for any man who asked. Women who didn’t do so were “square” and “Establishment”. In a sexual way, it actually enshrined the macho attitudes that those feminists claimed to be opposed to.
I know a person who has encouraged her daughter to do just that, likening her various sexual adventures as ‘scraping the velvet off a deer’s antlers’, that is pleasant and necessary.
I saw the girl’s face during the last days of one of her ventures. It wasn’t nice.
But this kind of behavior traps both men and women: quite often there is a pregnancy, because (a) girls want to get pregnant, it is in their DNA; and (b) they hope against hope that the boy actually loves her and will remain by her and her child’s side… and now the law steps in… (Read Dr Helen)
She’s a slut.
And I say that in the nicest way possible.
No, a slut is a woman with no self-respect who habitually makes promiscuous choices that show she does not value intimacy, trust or the feelings of others. Kristen is a young girl who made a stupid, awful, destructive mistake, from which she will hopefully learn. There is a difference.
There are no testaments written by 35 year old women. Such women are too busy trying to show the world they’re better than the men they are not with.
Aside from looking like a cheating girlfriend, Miss Stewart might want to worry about getting a reputation as an actress who hooks up with whoever she is working with at the time.
Bottom line, because of the Twilight stuff, Stewart destroyed her career. She’s not hot enough to play the sexy girl, and her appeal is due to youth not beauty. She’s not Catherine Deneuve. Meanwhile the Twihards hate her for destroying their fantasy. She’s now box office poison.
Edward Cullen, excuse me Pattinson, is a joke. He’s the cuckold, the guy who could not keep his hottie off a 40 something married man, because he was boring. Solution? He better go George Clooney. Bed a new hottie every month, and get them younger and hotter every time. No women and few men will respect a cuckold. Its a reflection on male sexuality, or the lack of it, and lack of danger, fear, instability, and unpredictability that create female desire. The last thing any man wants to be is a “boring White guy.” Because it means sexless eunuch.
That’s the career, Hollywood stuff.
For women not movie stars and actresses, the only thing they bring to the table in today’s world of no standards, no shame, no social limits, is their youth, beauty, and lack of sex partners. Putting off a good match to explore options guarantees a lesser man, one less sexy, less aggressive, less socially dominant, and quite a bit older. Beauty (and fertility) fade RAPIDLY, and a woman who attracted all sorts of male attention at age 25 will find men viewing her as a mere cougarish one night stand, utterly disposable, at age 35. A man up to a point can gain social dominance, power, control, and cruelty (which women find very, VERY arousing) as he gets older. A married man with two kids in his forties can and will pull a hot 22 year old. A woman in her thirties or forties is lucky to get a one night stand with a guy who’s horny, desperate, and will kick her out in the morning.
Fundamentally, this society and women themselves tell lies about the attractiveness and ability of women to get and keep a relationship. The end of limits means women have to EARN, and earn every day, a relationship with a man who arouses them and other women want. They have to be young, pretty, and nice. They can’t have too many sex partners (like 3 or less, and yes MEN KNOW particularly in the age of Facebook). All they can get if they don’t lock down the best available guy early is being the non-celebrity version of George Clooney’s side piece of the quarter.
Meanwhile, every guy who gets cheated upon will simply demand younger, hotter, etc. since there is no point in believing the pretty lies about monogamy and the like. That train left the station with gay marriage, sexual liberty, etc. No limits means no limits, and a run-to-fat, many partners woman in her thirties is less attractive than an online porn collection, to be brutally honest.
Matt Hasselback was quoted in USAToday that his advice to young QBs is that they are in competition not just with guys on their team at that position, but anyone in the world that the team can bring in. He knows from experience. Women from age 14-27 get male attention without any trouble and figure this will always be the case. Society needs to tell them they are in CONSTANT competition with any girl that could replace them, as much as men are with each other. And that the advent of “free agency” and unlimited signings in romance and sex means basically, short term relationships unless they give up a lot to sign a long term contract. Which can be torn up anytime anyway by either party.
Yes that’s awful. But a society can optimize sex (for women and a few Alpha males) with the cost of love, or optimize love (for most women and men) but at the cost of sex for women and a few Alpha males. Ours and the West has chosen sex over love, and women and men just have to make the best of it.
Why should anyone care?
“Its a reflection on male sexuality, or the lack of it, and lack of danger, fear, instability, and unpredictability that create female desire. The last thing any man wants to be is a “boring White guy.” Because it means sexless eunuch.”
I agree with this as limited to the Hollywood perception of female desire, which reinforces the point I’m almost finished making in my next post, which you should have some comment on.
You can’t use Hollywood people to illustate anything about real life. It’s a miracle if one of them even approaches normality.
Same for sports stars.
It’s probably more useful to use them as anti role models, because almost everything most of them do is exactly the opposite of what normal people should be doing.
I tend to agree, with two caveats. First and most important, one of the problems with modern society is a lack of moral standards. Without those standards, people look to create their own. (When Nietzsche pronounced God dead, everyone had to do His job for themselves.) One of the ways they create those standards is through human idols. The rich, successful, powerful, good looking, smart, athletic, we assume such people are doing something right. We, especially the young, put them on pedestals. In short, we look to them because we don’t know where else to look. Therefore, in order for people like us to explain and persuade people of the need for moral standards, we sometimes have to use the models and idols that people understand. Second, you are right that this is of limited use because so many in Hollywood and other idol haunts make poor comparisons because their fame makes them more indulged and selfish. They believe their own press which is the root cause of most of their problems. Every once in a while, however, that dynamic isn’t there. In this case you have a young couple who has actively defended themselves against the wages of fame, who is nonetheless famous. That is, their problems are not caused by fame (though they are exacerbated by it) and masses of young people follow them. This is why they are a illustration that can reach those young girls, they are normal and famous.
To be honest, I don’t have an entirely clear conscious in using them for illustration. I prefer to do this with myth and lyrics. In fact, I’ve only done the culture commentary through gossip with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Gwyneth Paltrow. (GP puts herself out as a health guru while she damaged her skeleton with a vegan diet.) But yesterday, with the opening ceremonies in London, the Robsten break was most commented at The Daily Mail and most viewed on The Daily Telegraph. I get that that is an indictment of culture. I pity these two young people for this starring role. But the chance to reach some young girls with a cautionary tale–I’d have a less clear conscious in taking a pass.
you have used the word ‘pity’ in describing both Kristen and Rob. It is the right word for this situation.
Whiskey, how old are you? I hope that your boorishness is not exceeded by your demeanor. Shame on you for throwing away women over 35 and favoring porn. A warm loving relationship between a man and a woman at any stage of their life is a truly rewarding experience. Although I live in an all age community of 350 apartments around a lake, I can honestly tell you that I have plenty of opportunity to date men of different ages and I am 68. If I ever met a man, who in any proximity came close to the biggest love of my life, I would remarry in a heartbeat.
Patricia, I can understand Whiskey’s attitude, even if I don’t agree with it. When I was in high school, I couldn’t pay a girl to date me. Knowing little about women, I wound up wasting much of my ’20s with a personality-disordered women who cheated on me and left me heavily in debt. I found myself at the age of 30, divorced, broke and knowing little about dating or romance, and with no prospects since all of the women I knew were married. My dating efforts were a disaster; I’ve written over at Amy Alkon’s that I was the King of Being Stood Up. It wasn’t until the age of 35 that I finally found a good woman, and I had to do a lot of work on myself to reach the level where I could have an honest relationship. If God forbid something were to happen to my wife, there’s no way I would consider marrying again.
I have no idea who any of these people are. I have no idea why I should care.
I already know that I live under a rock, ‘cuz I’ve never seen Twilight, nor care to do so. But, I’d have to live under a gigantic boulder not to know about Stewart and Pattinson. As they say, work & sex do not mix. The two of them had a good thing going, both privately and professionally. So, what happens come next season? Will the professional magic still be there, or will the whole franchise fall apart? Only time will tell. It’d be interesting to be a fly in the room the next time their agents, studio bosses, and network bosses get together.
manjaw’s gotta manjaw