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‘That’s the Ultimate Race, Poor People’: In Praise of Adam Carolla’s Brutal Honesty

Even "Carolla-tards" who know all the Aceman's tales by heart will be surprised by one particularly revealing story.

by
Kathy Shaidle

Bio

June 27, 2012 - 7:00 am

Carolla and family today (photo: Aaron Farley)

Carolla’s parents were divorced. His mom was such a hippie, she majored in “Chicano Studies,” even though she was white.

Too lazy to buy a Christmas tree or even give Adam a middle name, she went on welfare and never went off, to the disgust of her ambitious if aimless son.

In case that “Chicano Studies” bit didn’t tip you off, Carolla was born in the ’60s and raised in the ’70s. We’re both Gen-Xers who never thought we’d miss the “Me Decade” — with its avocado green kitchen appliances, gasoline shortages and 13 TV channels — until we grew up and were forced to live in the bike-helmet, peanut-allergy, illegal-lemonade-stand alternative.

Fans will be pleased to learn that all their favorite “Aceman” stories are in Not Taco Bell Material: “The Pretty in Pink After-Party,” “The Custom Closet,” and “Sleeping on the Beach in Tijuana.”

However, the story below is new to me.

I suspect that, whether readers are “Carolla-tards” or the utterly uninitiated, it may be the one that haunts them.

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