5 Ways to Ruin a Commencement Speech
5. Use, in any capacity or form whatsoever, the expression “change the world”
Yes, it really happened. Not a kindergartner filling out the ”What I Want to Do When I Grow Up” form, but a world-renowned physician actually employed the exhausted derivative of the middle-Paleolithic cliche “take on world hunger.” Another speaker fell from linguistic grace by reassuring students that she did not expect them to “change the world.” Oddly, this reassurance failed to elicit audible sighs of relief, almost as if none of the students were laboring under the impression that universal salvation would figure in their future job descriptions.
This is not to say that students should approach life in a selfish way or eschew the desire to better the society in which they live. What is objectionable is resorting to tired platitudes devoid of actual substance. If $200,000 worth of history teaches students anything, it is that most people who set out to “change the world” usually exterminate large portions of its inhabitants. Substantive role models, those who ought to be presented in place of vague ideals, are those who set out to better themselves, improving the lives of those with whom they come in contact by developing their own talents. Broad improvement in society is almost always the consequence of taking personal responsibility for what is at hand. Speakers should focus on specific objectives: ennoble yourself, strengthen your family, contribute to your neighborhood. Borrowing from Bill Walsh, the “god” of football coaches:
Strive for the standard of perfection, the score — in this case, the world — will take care of itself.
Great post. I think that this is great advice for politicians too! I’m sure none of these graduates have “saving the world” in mind- that’s Obama’s job. Good luck graduates! You’re about to find out that most of your college profs were full of crap and that you paid them way too much to qualify you for a job at Starbucks.
The lead picture reflects the sick state of today’s youth. We knew better than to fall asleep or yawn in front of parents and faculty. I’m 39 and my class was given strict instructions that were obeyed. These graduates were educated by porn and “Family Guy” diarrhea humor. It’s obvious they’ve had every advantage but today may not find jobs. It seems fitting – wishing them success is difficult. Anyone who has dealt with them understands.
Oh, if only award recipients would heed this advice in their acceptance speeches as well.
The author’s bio states that she writes on the growth of antisemitism and misogyny in conservative organizations.
Isn’t this French for makes stuff up?
I think Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs are/were certainly qualified to speak about changing the world. But they are/were the exception. No one else with the proper credentials comes to mind…
I read up to the point where you stated that you need to serve what you LOVE in order to be successful. Talk about a cliche. The world is full of people doing what they HAVE to do, not what they love. In fact, if you wait around long enough (as many do) to suddenly fall in love with doing anything before anything actually gets done, you’ll be sitting around for a long time. What is the estimate about how many people actually love what they do? TEN PERCENT? Think people who cashier, drive buses, clean office buildings, and on and on are in LOVE with what they do? Thank God they are grown up enough to GET A JOB. And take care of themselves. Instead of waiting around to fall in love with their work. You can add that overused tripe to the list too.
I was there when Obama gave his commencement address to the University of Michigan two years ago. My reaction: “Great speech, too bad none of it’s true.”
The commencement speaker at my graduation was Joe Biden. I don’t think he made any gaffes, although I had been up quite late the night before, so I’m not really sure. Do graduates really listen to the commencement speaker? I think he(Biden) had his own hair then, although I’m not sure about that either.
The commencement speaker at my graduation will remain nameless as will the university, the timeline was early 1950s.
It was less than we had expected as two years later the keynoter was arrested, indicted and convicted of ‘Influence peddling’, that was the euphemism for soliciting bribes.
And that was just the beginning. Over a five year period, four commencement speakers suffered similar fates, albeit for widely assorted infractions It came to the point where no one would even consider accepting the honor.
At least it served one good result, the selection committee became much more selective!
The Tucker May speech was classic – a good four minute listen. Only time will tell if a decade or two from now if it will be ridiculous to be asking “Who is Tucker May?”