To the heart of an adopted child, his parents are just that — his parents. When placed in a family from infancy, exactly how he arrived — by birth canal or freeway — does not leave an impression on his memory.
As an adopted child with natural born children of my own, I can attest to this fact.
That’s not to say a child given up for adoption won’t struggle with questions and feelings of rejection. She will.
When adoptive parents tell the unspoken lie of omission, it’s usually born out of fear of rejection. Sadly, the deception is an attempt to create a reality that’s already there — a real family.
It’s hard enough knowing you’re adopted, that someone who was supposed to love you instead chose to give you away. But nothing compares to the devastation that comes from this one lie by the people that you love the most.
See Rhonda Robinson’s previous parenting lists: