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The 5 Idiots You Wish You Could Get Out of Your Facebook Feed

You're not even a good Facebook friend!

by
John Hawkins

Bio

June 11, 2012 - 7:00 am

3) Mother Mary, Quite Contrary

 Nobody forces you to be Facebook friends with someone else. You can decline the invitation. If you find someone annoying, you can even change your mind and defriend him. Maybe you didn’t realize that he posts a status update every time he has a bowel movement or that he thinks the Jews are responsible for 9/11. Who could blame you for deciding that you’re just not compatible and going your own separate way?

Of course, there is another option you could pursue, which is to make an ass of yourself in his timeline. Here’s a thought: If you’re a liberal who feels the urge to murder kittens when someone says something nice about Sarah Palin or a conservative who thinks Obama is a mixture of Stalin and Darth Vader and you just can’t shut up about it, maybe you shouldn’t be friends with someone who vehemently disagrees with you. If you are going to be someone’s friend, then you should keep in mind that friends politely disagree. They don’t regularly insult each other, trash other people in the thread, and go off on angry rants. So, just remember what your mother said, “If you can’t say something nice, then shut your ignorant mouth, you loser! I can’t believe I ever had a horrible child like you! You’ll never be a success! Never!” Ok, maybe I’m just assuming that’s how the mothers of people like that talk, but you have to admit that it would explain a lot.

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