There once was a Sex and the City episode that dealt with the quirky SSB: Secret Single Behavior...
- Speaking of the dogs at restaurants: I just won’t eat at a place that tells me to tie puppacita outside the railing or even make her sit on the ground. It’s in her bag, on an extra chair pulled up close to me, or nada. In the photo above, she’s angling for some poor businessman’s lunch at American Tap Room.
- Or me at a restaurant trying to get special food for the dog: I once held up the Subway line by trying to convince them to sell me just one of those containers of the chopped-up chicken. They insisted I buy a full sandwich. I won.
- Sing-songs: I sing Stevie Wonder’s “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” to the dog. Well, she is my little sunshine. She even has a hoodie that says “Little Sunshine.”
- Speaking of those dog clothes: I’ve bought such a wardrobe for her that I needed to build a special closet rack for those tiny hangers, extending the height of the closet door and composed out of the wire frames for a back-of-the-door panty rack. It’s separated into T-shirts and tanks, dresses, sweaters, hoodies, coats, and accessories.
- Cutesy words: Instead of pee and poop, I ask if she needs to go “wysiwig” or “poh-poh.” Sounds better? I don’t know.
- Sugary sweet routines: When I come home, she does her happy dance, and I take her out to whizzy, as I carry her downstairs I whisper to the puppa, “Did you have a tiny day?” Before we go to sleep, I whisper, “I love you, tiny puppa.”
- Anything for my puppa: I’m pretty sure the number of open bags of dog treats in the kitchen is about to surpass the number of open, half-full bottles of Philosophy shower gels ringing my oval tub (and THAT is an SSB).