6 Facts It’s Okay to Forget You Know
Knowledge is not always power.
June 6, 2012 - 7:00 am
4. Eggs are Fetuses
I love eggs. I eat them all the time. Every once in a while I remember that I’m actually eating a chicken fetus. I immediately shove that information so low down into the far back cobwebby corners of my mind that it will be years before I remember again. There’s a reason we don’t order Fetus Benedict. And that’s just fine with me.
I like my chicken fetuses Sunny Side Up, thanks!
On eggs, I would note that commercially produced eggs are NOT fetusses. They are unfertilized.
fetusi
fetuses
Feti. Which is just silly.
most eggs are not fetuses because they are not fertilized. They are periods.
shut up and FEEDUS!
Even the fertilized ones are embryos, not fetuses. (Unless you’re Filipino, in which case they might actually *be* fetuses.)
The egg that is laid by the hen is analogous to a woman having her period (when her unfertilized egg is flushed from her body.)
I like mine scrambled with a little black pepper and melted butter.
Try this. Bring an egg to a boil. Turn off the heat. Add a few ripe small tomatoes. Let stand for five minutes. Peel your soft boiled egg. Chop in your par boiled tomatoes. Add course ground pepper. Enjoy the best quick breakfast ever devised.
No, that would be sex!
indeed, eggs are not fertilized. think about it, it starts an even worse thought train…
Okay, how was that not gross. Now I will always think of a woman’s period instead of a chicken fetus. Is that better? No. No it is not. It is much, much worse. Also, some fresh eggs are a fetus. And even if they are not, what is that white liquid? Placenta? I mean really people, eggs are gross no matter how you slice it. But man are they delicious!!!!!
In point of fact, no, no commercially produced egg you purchase is either a fetus *or* an embryo. Both imply that fertilization has taken place. Eggs that you buy from the grocery store are unfertilized. So unless you buy your eggs from a backyard grower, it is an absolute certainty that you will never eat a fetus or an embryo. Those hens do not come anywhere roosters or their sperm.
That is true and they go very well with shoulder muscle from castrated cattle.
Strange. I was going to comment on this article but can’t remember what it was about.
lol Rick. Exactly!
How old is Rick? If my age, its probably normal; if younger, well, maybe too many drugs? (Nah, I got your joke.)
I have trouble getting into public pools because of the urine/fecal matter factor. All things considered, I’d rather get in the ocean. I figure the sheer volume dilutes pollutants far, far more than chlorine in a swimming pool with dozens of kids who never get out to use the restroom.
Dray:
I’m just guessing here, but I would think that all the marine life in the ocean is producing some amount of biological waste, including dead fish.
Fish pee and decomposing whale flesh is preferable to human exrement and/or urine. LOL!
What about the other people peeing and pooping in the ocean?
Most of India washes off in the same river that flows into the ocean.
DRayRaven – Thank you, thank you! There is at least one other person on the planet who feels like I do. I had a very bad experience at a Dallas, TX Water Park about twenty five years ago and never quite recovered. That afternoon sparked a very gradual, but very decided, evolution in my thinking which has landed me in my currrent anti-swimming pool state-of-mind: I don’t enter them unless, maybe, it is a pool no one else has been in for a day or two; or, maybe, if it’s only been penetrated by adult family members(and even then, it’s iffy for me.) Once I really thought about what a swimming pool is, it was all but over for me: a bunch of people, usually strangers, usually sweaty and greasy because swimming generally goes with warm weather, sharing the same finite body of water which is energetically rinsing every part of their bodies. I know, I know: “chlorine” is everyone’s knee-jerk explanation for why my concerns are ill-founded. Except that, in my mind at least, a chlorine saturated dingleberry or wad of navel-lint is still a dingleberry or wad of navel-lint. Sorry, I don’t want it anywhere near me, or certainly not sloshing into my mouth. BTW, kudos on your ocean water reflections. Not sure why, but a) whale or fish waste is infinitely less skeevy to me than human feculence; b) the mind-boggling amounts of water one is considering when we’re talking about the world’s interconnected oceans do make a significant difference to me. Everything on our fallen planet is going to contain some measure of corruption, but in the ocean I feel like it is so diluted that it is bearable. Let me add, c) the ocean’s saltiness doesn’t hurt my argument either – sort of like Mother Nature’s chlorine, a natural sanitizer.Finally, d) the oceans churning provides me with a measure of psychological peace. As anyone who has ever followed the adventures of Bear Grylls will tell you, moving water is usually safer than standing water. Thus, in my world the “swimming comfort level” probably moves from pools (the most repugnant), to lakes (will avoid if I can), to rivers (particularly if they are fast flowing), to oceans. Yes, I understand this is all probably silly and somewhat arbitrary on my part, but that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.
And I spent countless afternoons in the big municipal pool as a kid. whew!
…and remember, *all* odors are particulate, that is, what you smell is made up of molecules of, well, what you smell.
Gah!!!
Yeah, the gas is just methane. Ordorless. If you think for just a moment, the trumpeting noise is tissue in the anus vibrating at that pitch. Human hearing is 20 – 20,000 cycles per second. That flat A sound of an orchestra warming up is 440 cycles per second. The cycles per second is important, because that’s how fast the poop-frosted tissue is cycling back and forth.
If farting a flat a at 440 cycles per second is absolutely going to shake loose some poop.
What you’re smelling is particles of micro-pulverized poop getting stuck in your nasal cavity, and the rest of it goes down to your lungs to get absorbed.
Any more questions on how diseases can be transmitted?
There are actual names for some of these odiferous chemicals. Putrescine and cadaverine come to mind.
DAMN! had you gone to a school in Detroit, Atlanta, Chicago or D.C. you wouldn’t know those things! Ignorance is bliss unless you are in a minefield.
I, too, went to a pool almost every summer day in Chicago in the late fifties. I guess my childhood WAs crappy.
I had a friend who always referred to scrambled eggs as “coagulated chicken embryos”, and bacon as “shredded swine flesh”. Both of us loved donuts, though.
You’d have a great time describing scapple!
Chicken eggs you eat as a meal are not fertilized. Any farmer with half a brain could tell you that. There is a big difference between the eggs in your refrigerator and the egg(s) attached to a woman’s uterus.
Donuts (glazed or otherwise) are only a problem to those people who have problems with their glycemic levels and/or weight. I can personally eat four, five, or six of these delicious specimens daily and never gain an ounce on my 102 pounds or have issues with my sugar levels. Don’t tell me I’m one of the lucky ones. It’s just genetics. Some of us were born to overspend at the sugar shop! That’s why God made bakeries!
They ARE fertilized if you keep your own chickens and have a rooster. It doesn’t matter, you can’t tell.
Unless you wait too long to get the eggs.
Not a pretty sight to see a half-cooked baby chicken in the frying pan. The majority of my family won’t eat runny eggs due to the occasional fertilized egg making it to the kitchen.
Have you really seen that? How gross! I was under the impression that the chick does not develop unless the hen is broody and sets on the eggs. We eat a lot of eggs in our house and collect them daily so it shouldn’t ever happen to us… I hope! shudder!
BUT! can you eat those donuts without MILK! I can’t.
Learning about dust mites ruined my life.
There are the ones that eat your skin, then there are the ones that eat the poop of the ones that eat your skin. And after 5 years, half the weight of your pillow is dust mites and poop.
Also, some of them are like spiders. Right now, millions of them are hanging from invisible threads they’ve attached to, say, your nose and eyelashes, and are all running up and down the thread. True.
I have one of those plastic (NOT buckwheat) beanbag pillows and I wash it regularly. Other pillows and cushions are washed and replaced on a regular basis.
You can also buy mite-proof covers for pillows, mattresses, and so forth.
I am pretty sure that “half the weight of your mattress and pillow” claim was made up by pillow and mattress manufactures to sell you new ones every few years.
I think there are mites that eat pillows, they are just to small to see of course, they also eat slowly!
Does this mean we really do need telephone sanitizers after all?
Only if you are under 45. The rest of us used public pay phones and so got immunity. Not to mention the DDT infusions and God knows what, playing in the yard.
Avoiding all this stuff will help ensure your kids get asthma.
You thought you could surf life, avoiding everything under the surface?
Bear in mind that exposure to these rather icky things serves to strengthen your immune system. “In every cloud there is a silver lining,” as they say.
Absolutely.
Right! I am 64 years old and I NEVER in my youth heard of ANYONE allergic to PEANUTS! WTF is that all about now?
Pee does not have bacteria, unless the person is very sick, like w/ hepatitus or something. It has toxins (ammonia and other stuff) as well as food for bacteria, but pee is sterile.
Pretty much all eggs are eggs, not fetuses, except for the hard boiled egg at Scout Camp that looked back at me when I cracked it open.
An unfertilized egg is really more a placenta than a fetus.
As the Great W. C.said “Water?! do you know what fish do in water??!!
“I never drink water. Fish f*** in water.” ——W.C. Fields
jh749, that is number 7 now. I’ll record it for the follow up article “5 more things it’s okay to forget you don’t know.”
I never eat vegetables. Birds poop on them.
What he really said was:
“Water? Never touch the stuff. Fish fornicate in it.”
An egg is an egg, fertilized or not. A fertile egg only becomes a fetus when it is incubated and allowed to grow.
DAMN! ya know what that means! It means you are eating something that something just pumped a load of sperm into! I will never eat another egg.
As far as Anderson Cooper’s phone: I had to wonder how that fecal matter got there. And then promptly tried to forget!
This topic was so repulsive, I thought I bumped into a Liberal site. I may not come back.
I always enjoy my bagels and coffee more with unborn baby birds and dead burnt animal flesh. Bacon is the reason for the season!
Fecal matter on Cooper’s phone not really a surprise.
WHY did Anderson Cooper’s parents give him two last names?
Obama is president.
You may want to forget this, five minutes a day, just to survive until November.
What is poison depends on the amount you consume. I eat a donut about every three months or so, so my body handles it quite well. While you probably should not inhale farts as you cannot survive the gas(what a way to die!) your body does process small amounts of this , with no harm overtax the systems in your body..
I like to dip my doughnut in the swimming pool before eating it. Should I see a doctor?
When I was in college, our medical buddy always referred to eggs as “unfertilized chicken ovums”. Guess he was right after all. One item not mentioned here is ‘honey’. For much of my pre-adult life I had been led to believe it was bee poop. I was immnensely relieved to find out later, no, it’s just bee vomit. Enjoy!
So, why aren’t people living in close proximity to a dump getting all sorts of varying diseases? Anyone knows that the rainfall washes all the toxins into the water table, and not everybody drinks treated municipal water.
Then, there’s the fumes; Why don’t employees of the dump die from the fumes?
Methane gas has been used to fuel industrial engines in sewage plants for decades. You can’t get energy that is any “greener” than that.
Take a tour of a slaughterhouse before you eat your next burger. I guarantee it will taste different.
Hey, Sunny-O:
What a timely post. John Travolta was just caught peeing in the pool at Disney World, obviously and in full view of children.
http://www.thedailyrash.com/john-travolta-urinates-in-public-at-disney-world
(Picture included.)
I’d say something about his career circling the drain or being in the toilet, but I’m not really good at thinking up bad gags.
I am FLUSH with ideas, but I like most all of his movies except the disco one, don’t remember the name of it.
Okay, but you forgot hot dogs, sausage, and vienna sausages. Really a poor mans steak. But what the heck, choke back the gag impulse and eat on..oh so good!
I remember reading the “ingredients” on the side of a pack of hot dogs in the 50s, it started PORK EARS, PORK SNOUTS, PORK BYPRODUCTS!!! WTF after you get the ears and snout WTF is left! the producers don’t put “ingredients” on hot dog packages anymore, anyone other than me notice that?
September 29, 2009 American Police Force Corporation Takes Over Small Town Police Force and Prisoner-Less Jail
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-5351491-504083.html
FWIW I’ve also heard eggs being called “chicken abortions.” Whatever. And, yes, honey is bee barf–& awesomely delicious!
Bee barf! That still sounds cute, sorry. But I seriously wish I’d known that phrase when my kids were little.
I guess you don’t want to hear that I fart eggs in a pool while eating donuts. [On Thursdays.]