5. We’re too different.
Have you ever heard someone say their relationship failed because they were just “two different people”? Considering men and women are (gasp) different, it’s a little surprising it takes some people half a marriage to figure that out. If you’ve just discovered your spouse is opposite from you, congratulations! You’re on your way to being fabulously happy! Men and women were not created to mirror each other. It is sad that the differences we come to hate about each other are always the things that attracted us in the first place. The vibrant social butterfly who dazzled you morphs into a creature with snakes coming out of her head who won’t stop talking when you just want to go home. The strong and steady guy who calmed you now drives you mad because you can’t pull a sentence longer than three words out of him in one sitting. The cure for this is remembering in writing why you fell in love and recognizing that your spouse is not your enemy and his/her differences make you stronger, not weaker.
Marrying a polar opposite makes stronger parents. When you have children, and chances are you’ll have more than one since the average American has 3.5 children, each one will be completely different from the last. What would happen if an introvert was born to two extroverts? There would be no one to explain the child’s needs or to defend his rights to his feelings. If a strong-willed child had two compliant parents, the child would run roughshod over the family. Parents need to have opposing strengths in order to relate to their children on all levels. My eldest daughter shares many baffling traits with her father, and without his input, I would not know how to get her out of the house without a meltdown. Suddenly, his inability to roll with the punches, which always got under my craw because I can change plans instantly, became an asset when addressing our child’s needs. He knew instantly what to do, and it was as simple as just giving her ample time to adjust to the plan. This was a solution that never would have come to someone who flies by the seat of her shorts.