The Porn You Will Always Have With You: California’s Condom Cops
Rule 34 is bunk.
You know that rule of the internet: “If it exists, there is porn of it”?
Wrong.
One, because if there were “cellulite porn,” I might very well be typing this beside my infinity pool in a double gated community somewhere south of the 49th parallel.
(Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t be typing this at all…)
Two: last year I asked my blog readers if they’d ever heard tell of “Mountie porn,” and got one measly link to a low-rent “sexy Halloween costume” vendor.
Which seems bizarre, and not just because all those chicks dug Due South.
After all, uniforms have been a porn staple forever. As P.J. O’Rourke famously said:
I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don’t let it bother me. I don’t let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.
Yep, that Hugo Boss guy has a LOT to answer for:
It was one of Israel’s dirty little secrets. In the early 1960s, as Israelis were being exposed for the first time to the shocking testimonies of Holocaust survivors at the trial of Adolf Eichmann, a series of pornographic pocket books called Stalags, based on Nazi themes, became best sellers throughout the land.
Now while I wouldn’t call them fascists, our RCMP has burned a few barns in their day.
(And tasered a guy to death for having a nicotine fit at the airport. Then there was the time they stole all that dynamite…)
So: pretty badass. But still (almost) no Mountie porn. Hmmm.
All this to say:
My attitude about pornography is as subjectively personal as anyone else’s.
In my case, it reflects my experiences as a Canadian female of a certain age, steeped in the anti- and pro-porn “wars” that preoccupied feminists in the 1980s.
Cellulite porn? Challenge accepted. Google BBW Porn.
Done it? Are you ready to claw your eyes out? That’s revenge for that Star Wars article back in February. You asked for it. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Forgot to add that the links you will find are Not Safe For Work.
Dear James S.:
I followed your instructions, but my eyes began bleeding out before any visual impression could fully register. Filing your assertions under “still unproven.”
Thanks James, I know all about BBW but I’m actually a fairly fit, size 6 woman — with cellulite. If only cellulite could somehow be declared the new tattoos…
And you certainly have your licentious librarian thing working.
“and demand the “right” to get “married” (something no self-respecting homosexual ever longed for until it became trendy a few years back”
I remember listening to an old time homosexual (who came out in the late 1950s/early1960s, in DC) and he said one of the sayings among gays back in the days was “one of the benefits of being gay was that you could not get married.”
This regulation, like most of the new ones is not aimed at stopping a risky action. It’s there simply to be used if you happen to step out of line.
Are these the same activists who tried to pass a law banning circumcision in San Francisco? So they try to ban a procedure with proven benefit in reduction of HIV, Chancroid, Syphillis, HPV, and cancer and now they want this.
These are same folks who flock to the banner of keeping the Government “off my body” and individual sexual choice and freedom. Why stop at porn? It is just sex with the cameras on, right? Maybe they should be required for everyone at all times.
Just further proof that the gay community has a serious obsession with other men’s c@cks. Almost sociopathic, in fact. Get your laws off John Thomas!
Ms. Shaidle’s essay today offers some interesting, if not always relevant, pornographic history. Her main point, though, appears to be embedded in the question… “Is this campaign [to force condom use during pornographic prodcutions] really an attempt to shut down porn production all together and if so, why?”
The “why” is the question she chooses not only to ignore but to assume that there is not even a constitutional case to be made for its reclassification as a crime.
Those of us poor, plaid-soaked Puritans who attempt to make such a case are rarely given the opportunity, as can be seen again in Ms. Shaidle’s willful ignoring of our arguments today. Granted, even if she is aware of our arguments, she may not be willing to change her mind on the legality of pornography. But if she is not aware of our arguments, it would be in her interest, we belive, to at least examine them.
Readers interested in doing so are invited to visit Another Slow News Day’s blog page devoted to issue of pornography.
http://anotherslownewsday.wordpress.com/pornography/
After spending some time actually reading the studies cited in the embedded hyperlinks (including in the facetious opinion text) at least the debate can be held on level ground. I hope Ms. Shaidle will be willing to continue it there.
Cellulite or not, I do love to watch you strut. Great fun from start to finish.
Derrick Bell Describes Marxist Foundation of Critical Race Theory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmOyLKTxAKE&feature=player_embedded
“Your Porn Needs Rubbers” sign. Hmm.
Yeah, I guess so. Rubbers, fondlers, all sorts of people for all sorts of activities. Is the sign holder seeking employment?
Dear Nobody Important:
Congratulations on your high degree of self-importance, as evidenced by
a) your passive aggressive internet handle and
b) your haughty declaration that I have been “willfully ignoring your arguments today.”
A more plausible explanation (other than terror at your moral superiority and unimpeachable arguments) is that, unlike you, I actually have a life.
BBW PORN!!?? It’s not porn! It’s art, I tell you!! Art!!
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Will we have a press conference with Pelosi, Obama and Reid pushing for free contraception and condoms for the porn industry? Will they have Tracy Lords as their useful idiot?
Will Obama give a call to Tracy Lords if we call her a slut?
Fascinating piece. Good work. Also, you had me hook line and sinker after mentioning Due South. Hooray obscure tv references!
This page really has all of the information I wanted concerning this subject and didnt know who
to ask.
To your final point:
You can’t win if you can’t lose.
Since you brought the subject up….
Q: What do Kodak and condoms have in common ?
A: They both capture that “special moment”….
[tv ad tag line from ancient film producer]
i strongly suspect this is an attempt to get the porn industry regulated and under control of the liberal fascisti, after which only approved, politically correct (and boring) porn will be permitted, complete with a czar/commissar to oversee what is, and is not permitted
I am so sorry I invested so much of my time trying to ferret out the point of this rambling piece of work. I wanted to understand briefly, what is the Gay “position” on condoms in porn (pardon the tasteless pun).
What I ended up doing was wading through too many off-track feminist reversals and unrelated videos. Some of the Canadian court material was interesting but still off-topic.
And that ridiculous video “A Woman’s Issue” was so unrealistic, so lacking in facts and so toxic that if I had been forced to watch it in college I would have sued the professor. The only “male” perspectives were from Gay men(?). What the heck does a Gay man know about what Straight men think about porn? Like asking a fish to explain what it’s like to mountain climb in the Sahara; he has no basis for an opinion.
In the end, I guess the author’s point was Gay activism on the issue of condoms in porn was simply pointless – as was the time I spent reading this. I will have to be more careful in the future.
Is it that the country horn actually makes a sound while the city horn is more of an extended digit of the driver’s hand?