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by
Sunny

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October 13, 2011 - 11:58 am

People are fed up. With just what, we’re not quite sure, but probably their crappy lives. No one has yet definitively shown why the rich should be eaten, or how that’s helping people more than, say, eating cow. Some believe that if they eat the heart of a rich man they will receive the power and wealth of that rich man, but that has not yet been proven. Others say it is because hippies taste a little gamey. Notwithstanding this lack of consensus, the people are ready to eat the rich. All that remains to decide is how to prepare them. That is the question this taste test, and the country’s most talented non-rich chefs, set out to answer.

Shawanatisha James, after her welfare benefits were cut, fed her brood of 10 for a week on the meat from one Millionaire.

Entries were submitted in the spring and a panel of judges narrowed it down to the top 10 contenders, which were then featured at State Fairs around the country over the summer. Some of the favorites were: Millionaire Mussaka by famed chef Balthazar Democratoulos, Rich Bouillabaisse by Jean D’MonSocialistee, Moore’s Meatloaf by Will Fare, and of course the winner, Rich Belly Barbeque, by Houston Rib Shack chef Ike Wansamore.

Traditionally there are four kinds of Texas styles of barbeque, and Ike’s Rich Belly Barbeque reportedly follows the East Texas tradition of spicing along with slowly cooking the meat to the point that it is “falling off the bone.” Additionally, as its name implies, belly parts were used for their high fat and flavor content to add a richness (no pun intended) that was reportedly very appealing.

Slow cooked, fall off the bone, greasy, billionaire goodness.

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