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President Obama, After Reading AttackWatch.com Submissions, Realizes He Actually Does Suck

Obama campaign strategists miscalculated when they created an encyclopedia of Obama's shortcomings.

by
Sunny

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September 25, 2011 - 12:00 am

Political pundits across the nation are calling it a severely damaging miscalculation by campaign strategists to provide a giant collage of arguments against Obama, and especially, to let him see it. An MSNBC reporter stated anonymously today, “The problem is, the voices against Obama are unfortunately based on the facts of reality. They use sound logic and reason when they decry the president’s policies, actions, and even his core ideology. I had to stop reading it. It’s incredibly hard to evade reality when you’re reading that site. Even for us journalists.”

 

Because you're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!!

 

Top White House aides are reportedly scrambling to convince the president that he is mistaken and that he’s actually a good president. White House insiders say AttackWatch.com has been blocked on his computer and BlackBerry, as well as all conservative blogs and the Ayn Rand Institute web site. Further, he has been sequestered by his advisors in what is being called a “re-programming” effort. To quote one insider, “They have taken the president into a room with all his friends and advisors, and several members of the press, and they are all just repeating over and over to him how good he is and how he’s a great president. Once in a while they all just clap, you know, give him a spontaneous standing ovation. Everybody loves a standing O’! They’re telling him he is on the right track, that all this trouble is the fault of capitalism, Bush, the Tea Party, or Vladamir Putin. (No one likes that guy.) It’s dicey, but they think they can bring him back around.”

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