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February 02, 2003

PALESTINE, SCHMALESTINE: Reader Adam Edwards emails:

The Shuttle exploded over Palestine. Doesn't that tragic fact give you pause?Could this just be a terribly ironic coincidence or could God be trying to warn us?

I've gotten a lot of email along these lines, most of it less succinct than Mr. Edwards'. But I think readers have it all wrong. First, if you'll look at the map, you'll see that the Shuttle actually exploded over "Tennessee Colony" -- an obvious warning from God that I, and other members of the Rocky Top Brigade will soon take over the Blogosphere. It was also over Frankston, thus providing an obvious warning (especially in connection with "Tennessee Colony") that Chirac's neocolonialist efforts are doomed. Or maybe it was over "Nineveh" -- an obvious sign from God that we should support the Assyrian people's desire for freedom in the face of Muslim tyranny. (Don't believe me? Visit this website -- Nineveh.com -- and see for yourself. Note the prominent mention of Columbia and the fervent pro-Americanism.) Coincidence? I think not. It's a sign from God!

But seriously, the real meaning of the Shuttle exploding above Palestine is obvious, and it's directed to Yasser Arafat: If you don't want all kinds of high-tech exploding American stuff to come down on you, you'd better get on the right side of history before it's too late.

It's a message from God, Yasser. Put down those baby wipes, and think about it.