I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS: Don’t fear the robo-apocalypse, yet.

WHEN ROBOTS TAKE ALL OUR JOBS.

I, for one, welcome our new robot employees.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOT SHRINKS: Smartphone Apps Become Surrogate Therapists.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOT GUIDANCE COUNSELORS. “A small number of schools around the country—the University of Arizona and Austin Peay State University in Tennessee being most prominent among them—are now experimenting with new ways to use data mining to help track the performance of their students and guide them towards the majors and courses that suit them best. Although the two systems use slightly different methods and technology, the core principle is the same: by tracking students’ grades, course history, and use of online learning materials, a computer can determine when a student is in danger of falling behind and suggest steps to get him or her back on track. The hope is that this will decrease the number of students who drop out or spend additional years in college because of a switch in majors.”

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOT WORKFORCE: Foxconn To Automate: Be Careful What You Wish For. “These robots are being used at Foxconn for the same reason that self-service checkout counters are being used in supermarkets, for the same reason that self-service yoghurt shops proliferate. The change in relative prices between labour and machines means the machines are being used in place of the people. Those who have been agitating for higher wages can pat themselves on the back for those who keep their jobs will indeed be getting higher wages. But there will be fewer of them as a result. Manufacturing jobs, minimum wage jobs, service jobs, whatever, the result is always the same: raise the price of labour and more automation will happen.”

Some related thoughts of mine are here.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOTIC OVERLORDS’ MESSAGING: And it turns out the message is … GRITS (Georgia Robotics and Intelligent Systems).  ”A masters student at Georgia Tech University has created a system that allows a group of robots to move into formations without communicating with the other robots it is forming shapes with. The robots have no predefined memory or prior knowledge of their location.” (The video at the link is quick fun.) (Before I get deluged with emails, read the story to see that it does require inputs from an overhead camera that might be thought of as the equivalent of GPS. This is not as radical as the quoted sentence suggests.)

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME our new robot professors.

Er, wait, maybe not so much . . . .

OBVIOUSLY, IT WAS AN ALIEN PROBE: Astronomers Wonder What Just Whizzed by Earth. Probably connected with that alien base on Saturn. I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME our new robot astronomers.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME our new robot employees.

And, yes, I’ve used that line before. Plus, from the comments, this from a Brit: “Blood tests? Pah! When they can ignore a bell being rung by an elderly patient for a couple of hours, then – and only then – will these robots be fit for our glorious NHS.”

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME our new robot overlords.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR TINY WATER BEAR OVERLORDS: Tiny Water Bears Triumph Over Outer Space.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOTIC SPOUSES: “Researcher: Humans will wed robots.”

I’ve already got a bionic wife, and I’m cool on that.

UPDATE: An educational clip from Futurama explaining why you shouldn’t date robots.

“FUR CHILDREN:” I ran across this term — meaning pets you have instead of, you know, real children – a while back and was bothered. I mentioned it to a friend from DC, who remarked that it wasn’t uncommon to see women, and even men, on the street with a cat or small dog in a baby carrier.

Great science fiction plot: Hostile aliens infect humanity with a virus that causes us to lavish parental attention on animals instead of human offspring, as a means of extinguishing the human race without a messy invasion. But it’s just a science fiction plot. Isn’t it?

UPDATE: Stephen Carter emails:

I spotted your item today about “fur children”. In P. D. James’s novel The Children of Men, set in a world in which no children can be born, there are two scenes involving women caring for pets as if they were babies — not only walking them in strollers, but actually having them baptized — and the narrator tells us that this is common behavior. I suppose the symbolism (to say nothing of the psychology) was too complex to risk trying to put this in the film.

What’s funny is that behavior intended to symbolize an apocalyptic state has now become semi-normal.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Reader Pat Dooley says forget the aliens — the infection comes from cats.

I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW ROBOT DRIVERS: My TechCentralStation column is up.

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW SPIDER OVERLORDS: And I’d like to remind them that popular bloggers may serve as trusted voices in helping to recruit workers to toil in their underground fly caves. . . .

Is it just me, or are people making a bigger deal out of Halloween than they used to?

It sure seems that way, anyhow. Anybody got some Raid?

UPDATE: Many readers say that Halloween seems to be a bigger deal. And not everyone’ s happy about it. Shortly after posting this I noticed an announcement hanging on my doorknob, for an “alternative to Halloween” festival sponsored by some Baptists. There does seem to be this anti-Halloween backlash, too, which I regard as rather silly. But if people want to have alternative parties, it’s okay with me. Even if there are no giant spiders. Though you’ve got to love the giant spiders.