TODAY STRAWS, TOMORROW BALLOONS?

Did you think leftist do-gooders would stop after getting plastic straws banned in a variety of locations? Of course not! Next up, balloons:

Now that plastic straws may be headed for extinction, could Americans’ love of balloons be deflated?

The joyous celebration of releasing balloons into the air has long bothered environmentalists, who say the pieces that fall back to earth can be deadly to seabirds and turtles that eat them.

I think the real offender here might be “joyous celebration,” where dour environmentalists are concerned. As the AP notes near the top of its story, balloons are “a very small part of environmental pollution.”

Long before they stumbled onto the catch-all word “woke,” the left have been using radical environmentalism as an excuse to  curb everyone’s enthusiasm at their kids’ parties. Back in July of 2008, the San Francisco Chronicle ran a column headlined “Throwing less-is-more birthday parties:”

Forget the twisty straws, Tootsie rolls and Dora the Explorer plates with matching cups, hats and tablecloth. There are signs that more parents would like to.

Anxious about the economy, global warming and our national image as people who would rent a limo for a kid’s party while a polar bear’s ice floe melts, many are toning down the trappings of that classic annual ritual, the blowout birthday party. They are saying no to plastic toys and water bottles, paper plates, gift wrap and new toys. There is even a modest backlash against the goody bag, the sack of candy and plastic knickknacks usually thrust into each sticky hand at the end of parties.

* * *

“There is nothing more bacchanalian than a kid’s birthday party,” said Sarah Lane, a founder of Washington state’s Progressive Kid, which has a Web site with suggestions on how to raise kids with good values. “You should see what gets thrown away. It’s disgusting.”

I love the fact that an editor allowed the sentence “There is nothing more bacchanalian than a kid’s birthday party,” to be published in a newspaper published in San Francisco. They must lead very sheltered lives at the Chronicle.