BREAKING NEWS: ACTUAL GROWNUPS DISCOVERED INSIDE UNIVERSITY FRONT OFFICE. Ohio State Shuts Down Student Occupation after Arrests, Expulsion Threatened: “‘If you refuse to leave, then you will be charged with a student code of conduct violation,’ [Ohio State Vice President Jay Kasey] said. ‘If you are here at 5:00 a.m. we will clear the building and you will be arrested.’ He added, ‘We will give you the opportunity to go to jail for your beliefs.’”

Faster, please.™