ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: ‘Is Sean Penn a CIA spy?’

I would tend to doubt it very much, but it certainly would explain the last seven years, no?

Related: “Idiotic: Deadline Hollywood falls for fake article on Sean Penn and ISIS.”

Hey, the San Francisco Chronicle — for reasons known only to themselves — did send Sean Penn, Ace Journalist to “report” on the Iranian “elections” a decade ago — proving once again that truth is far, far weirder than fiction. After chumming it up with the dictator Hugo Chavez, Penn barked to the Guardian that, as the far left British Website paraphrased Penn’s word salad, “Journalists who call Hugo Chávez a dictator should be jailed.”

But does even the truest of the true blue lefty believer say to his or her or ze or zirself, “Hey, that El Chapo fella/ Hugo Chavez / the Iranian elections — I wonder what Sean Penn’s perspective is on this crucial issue of the day?

On the other hand though, this Sean Penn article would be awesome:

This is your chance to return to the big leagues once again, Esquire — make this happen!

Before it’s too late, that is — as Tim Blair writes, even more so than before, right now “you do not want to be Sean Penn…in short, you do not want to be connected to Sean Penn in any way.”