SCIENCE: Human Face Evolved To Withstand Punches. “Human facial structure evolved to tolerate punches to the head, according to new research that suggests our ancestors spent a lot of time fighting.”

Wait, I thought everything was all peaceful and loving before capitalism and patriarchy arrived to screw up Eden. But no: “If the latest theory holds true, then other ideas about human evolution go out the window. For example, French philosopher Rousseau argued that, before civilization, humans were noble savages and that civilization corrupted us, making us more violent. Our distant past probably wasn’t very tranquil, though.” Another theory from a French social philosopher doesn’t square with the facts? Incroyable!