September 23, 2013
“MY BOYFRIEND IS A REAL NEANDERTHAL.” “REALLY? THAT’S AWESOME!” Man Uses Spear to Save Girlfriend from Mountain Lion. “After the incident conservation officers scoured the surrounding countryside in search of the animal. With the help of a cougar hunter, they found the animal’s carcass a short distance away from the house. It appeared to have died from the spear-inflicted wounds.”
My favorite part is this bit, though: “Officials say the dead cougar was a three-year-old male and an investigation is undergoing to find out what made it aggressive towards humans on the island.” The answer, of course, is that they’re delicious and no longer shoot cougars. He just miscalculated about the whole spear thing.
And, yeah, time for the obligatory David Baron, call your office bit.