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Ed Driscoll

Search Results for: "Final Countdown"

It’s The Vinyl Cow Town!

July 11th, 2009 - 8:58 pm

The fellas at Weasel Zippers ask, “Is Prince Charles challenging the Goracle as the Prophet of the Bedwetters?” (Bolding and ed. note in original):

Capitalism and consumerism have brought the world to the brink of economic and environmental collapse, the Prince of Wales has warned in a grandstand speech which set out his concerns for the future of the planet.

The heir to the throne told an audience of industrialists and environmentalists at St James’s Palace last night that he had calculated that we have just 96 months left to save the world. (that leaves only 96 months for the Goracle to line his pockets -ed.) And in a searing indictment on capitalist society, Charles said we can no longer afford consumerism and that the “age of convenience” was over.

Yet another “Final Countdown” to add to the always growing list; and a chance to resurrect this infamous YouTube clip:

YouTube Preview Image

Update: More eco-doomsday rhetoric from someone who merely thinks she’s royalty:

If the Senate doesn’t pass a bill to cut global warming, Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer says, there will be dire results: droughts, floods, fires, loss of species, damage to agriculture, worsening air pollution and more.

Uh-huh. Will disease, pestilence, cats and dogs living together, Zuul and a giant Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man also result? (Hey, just speaking satire to power.)

Update: Mark Steyn uses Prince Charles’ doomsday claptrap as the jumping off point for his latest op-ed. Needless to say, read the whole thing — but hurry; we have only have ten years to save the oceans, as Ted Danson said over twenty years ago. (More not-so-final countdowns here.)

The Final Countdown Du Jour

January 17th, 2009 - 7:44 pm

“Leading climate expert Jim Hansen” (no relation, as far as we can tell, to a deceased but global warmingly remembered Muppet expert) believes “Barack Obama has only four years to save the world.”

Of course he does. But we give Mr. Hanson bonus points for eschewing the leisurely and far overdone bourgeois pace of the ten year countdown–four isn’t a number that’s picked all that often from the proverbial hat for a doomsday countdown. But in any case, file this one way for election time in 2012 if–and we think the odds are somewhat reasonable here–Mr. Hanson is wrong.

In any case, no final countdown is complete without…

Turn And Face The Strange

January 9th, 2009 - 12:40 pm

150 years of scary headlines on climate ch-ch-changes:

It’s the final countdown!

It’s The Vinyl Cow Town!

December 18th, 2008 - 11:30 am

As global warming pummels Las Vegas this week, Andrew Bolt lists the “Top 10 dud predictions” from global warming alarmists.

There’s only one way to follow all that epic fail–with the ultimate butchered version of “The Final Countdown“:

P.J. Gladnick flashes back to 1968 and Apocalypse Then:

Today is the official publication date of The Dominant Animal: Human Evolution and the Environment by Paul and Anne Ehrlich. The release of this book was timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of the publication of Paul Ehrlich’s once exceedingly popular “The Population Bomb” in 1968. If you expect to see much about either of these books in the mainstream media, you are in for a big disappointment. The MSM is avoiding the whole subject of Paul Ehrlich and his apocalyptic “The Population Bomb” like the plague nowadays. The reason is probably because it might draw embarrassing attention to the fact that apocalyptic visions, despite their popularity at one time such as the current global warming alarmism, are usually proven to be flat out wrong. Such was the case with Paul Ehrlich’s “The Population Bomb” which the Intercollegiate Studies Institute ranked as one of the 50 Worst Books of the 20th century due to its many errors.

Gladnick quotes from a Brothers Judd review of Ehrlich’s book that’s also well worth your time.

It’s yet another not-so-final countdown!

The Not So Final Countdown, Revisited

April 27th, 2008 - 1:26 pm

Given how easy it now is to find previous Final Countdowns, just once, I’d love to see the next Final Countdown met with some skepticism from the press: Mr. Gore/Erlich/Danson/DiCaprio, etc., why should we believe you, when there have been so many earlier doomsday predictions that have never come to pass?

(H/T: TB)

Related: Via Small Dead Animals, Canada’s Lorrie Goldstein opens up an even more recent memory hole:

Dear Globe and Mail and Toronto Star:

For 15 months, I’ve been saving your respective front pages from the glorious weekend of January 27-28, 2007, when you simultaneously declared your mutual jihads against man-made global warming.

I knew they’d come in handy some day and now, they have.

Indeed, it seems like only yesterday I awoke to my Saturday, January 27, 2007 Globe to be greeted by the hysterical, front-page headline “Welcome to the new climate,” under a politically correct green masthead, declaring at the bottom: “We want action. We’re ready for sacrifices.”

Not to be outdone, the Star a day later had its own World War III, front-page headline, “State of denial: Do the skeptics of global warming have a hidden agenda?” — in the finest traditions of “do you deny beating your wife?” journalism.

And now, here we are, just 15 months later and isn’t it great you both have exactly what you wanted — skyrocketing gasoline prices and about-to-skyrocket food prices — since as we both know, hitting energy-hogging Canadians in their pocketbooks is the only way to make them reduce their evil greenhouse gas emissions hard and fast.

Or as it’s been dubbed in States, the Pelosi Premium.

Advantage: Gutfeld!

April 3rd, 2008 - 2:23 pm

Only a true satiric master can beat the nigh-impossible odds that Muggeridge’s Law imposes, especially when one of the participants is the nutty grandparent in cable television’s attic. (Alongside Dan Rather, Walter Cronkite, Helen Thomas, Phil Donahue, and…hmmm: Whom The Gods Destroy, they first build lionizing PBS specials around.)

Add nutty Ted’s latest mutterings to this one from a quarter of century ago, and it’s yet another example of the Not So Final Countdown.

(Which is still probably better than this Final Countdown!)

The Latest Final Countdown

June 14th, 2007 - 10:53 am

Apparently both sensing that a Doomsday Countdown in boring old decade-long increments is just a little too Ted Danson 1980s infomercial for the new millennium, and understanding that the Internet speeds everything up–even Doomsday itself–the UN warns “that the world has just eight years left to save itself”.

As Tim Blair writes, “Our new Doom Year is 2015. Make a note of it”.

Here’s the perfect background music for updating your calendars.

This Week’s Final Countdown

May 15th, 2007 - 11:26 pm

Add this countdown by the Worldwide Wrestling Foundation, I think, to all of these final countdowns, still either in progress or recently allowed to expire in silence by the Legacy Media. Curiously, they always seem eager to announce a new doomsday countdown, but rarely its termination with the planet looking none-too-worse for wear.

And gosh, I just can’t understand why that always seems to happen.

The Vinyl Cow Town

January 31st, 2007 - 10:30 am

No post titled “The Final Countdown” would be complete without this infamous YouTube moment in which the singer–such as he is–sounds like he really is warbling the above title.

The Not-So-Final Countdown

January 31st, 2007 - 9:10 am

Back around 1988, I watched Ted Danson, then at the height of his fame as the star of Cheers appear on a late-night infomercial pitch for an environmental group. He ended the half-hour advertisement with his saying that “we only have ten years to save the world’s oceans”. (That’s a paraphrase, but as close as I remember the line.)

It’s a reminder that, with the exception of Hollywood’s greatest Greatest Generation-era stars (Cary Grant, Bogie, The Duke, Coop), Bill Whittle’s Lou Grant Effect is inviolable. Having a beer in Sam Malone’s bar while he recounts his glory days with the Sox sounds like infinitely more fun than listening to the doomsday prognostications of someone paid to recite lines written by others, with his performance calibrated by someone else.

But since the freshness date has long expired on Danson’s dire warning, and the oceans are, near as I can tell, all happily present and accounted for, there have been numerous additional Doomsday Countdowns, which always seem to run for a decade for some reason. Al Gore started his a year ago, and yesterday, aging man-child Leonardo Di Caprio and several accompanying B-list actors and musicians announced theirs.

As Glenn Reynolds writes, “Ten years to save the planet: Let’s start by banning private jets.”

Here are two extremely environmentally conscious sources who could immediately put their Boeings where their mouths are, and retire their privately-owned jumbo jets for Diet Cokes and a tiny bag of peanuts on Southwest.

Anytime now, fellas; we’re waiting…

And while we’re waiting, James Lileks has some very much related thoughts: “It