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Ed Driscoll

Muggeridge's Law

‘Obama: Stop Me Before I Invade Iraq!’

July 25th, 2014 - 4:04 pm

As Daniel Greenfield writes at Front Page, “This is probably one of the more confusing stories to come out of a completely confused administration:”

The Obama administration is calling on Congress to fully repeal the war authorization in Iraq to ensure that no U.S. troops return to the country, which is under siege by the extremist Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL or ISIS).

White House national security adviser Susan Rice petitioned Speaker of the House John Boehner (R., Ohio) in a letter Friday to completely repeal the war authorization, officially known as the Authorization for Use of Military Force in Iraq, or AUMF.

“With American combat troops having completed their withdrawal from Iraq on December 18, 2011, the Iraq AUMF is no longer used for any U.S. government activities and the administration fully supports its repeal,” Rice wrote. “Such a repeal would go much further in giving the American people confidence that ground forces will not be sent into combat in Iraq.”

Wait, the Obama administration is actually claiming it will cooperate with a GOP-led Congress? Perhaps they could demonstrate their sincerity by first complying with its subpeonas. I know — I keed, I keed.

In the meantime, Greenfield has the perfect metaphor for this latest absurdity from the administration led by the recently retired President Obama. (Language alert, for obvious reasons. Please address all complaints to Mel Brooks and/or Warner Brothers Pictures, a division of Time-Warner-CNN-HBO):

Greatest. Headline. Ever. Courtesy of Reuters and Yahoo:

The singer Chubby Checker has settled a lawsuit in which he accused Hewlett-Packard Co of using his trademarked name without permission on a software app that purported to measure the size of a man’s penis.

HP denied liability in agreeing to settle with Checker, whose given name is Ernest Evans, but agreed not to make future use of his stage name, likeness or related trademarks.

The settlement was disclosed in a Tuesday filing with the San Francisco federal court. Other terms remain confidential. It is unclear whether money changed hands.

He said hands. [Insert Beavis and Butthead chuckle here.]

But what exactly was the once staid and respectable firm of Hewlett-Packard thinking, when they created or began marketing what Reuters describes as an app “which purported to let women estimate the size of a man’s genitals based on his shoe size” in the first place?

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

With grim news out of Ukraine, Israel on edge, and an American president asleep at the fundraiser, today is shaping up to be a tense day of difficult, painful news. But fortunately, knowing when it’s time to lighten the mood, MSNBC provides us all with a little much-needed comic relief.

Or perhaps a far-too-close-to-the-mark CNN parody.

To amend my Dr. Strangelove reference in the previous post on the Malaysian Airlines flight crashing — quite possibly due to a SAM — in Ukraine, say what you will about Peter Sellers’ effete President Muffley, but Kubrick and Terry Southern didn’t depict him heading out for a fundraiser at the Charcoal Pit burger joint after hanging up the phone with Premier Kissoff:

Gee, did he clear that healthy meal with Michelle? And note that fist bumps were also involved on a day when a plane may have been shot down:

But hey, as Twitchy (source of the above headline) notes, it’s all par for the course, to use a metaphor referencing another favorite Obama pastime:

Exit quote from my friend Steve Green:

I should ask Steve if I could borrow a cup or twenty of vodka right now.

“It’s not pretty, even if your credentials are impeccable,” Neo-Neocon writes:

John Christy, a professor of atmospheric science at the University of Alabama in Huntsville, says he remembers the morning he spotted a well-known colleague at a gathering of climate experts.

“I walked over and held out my hand to greet him,” Dr. Christy recalled. “He looked me in the eye, and he said, ‘No.’ I said, ‘Come on, shake hands with me.’ And he said, ‘No.’ ”

Neo adds, “It’s fortunate for Dr. Christy that burning at the stake has gone out of style.” But paradoxically amongst carbon-obsessed warmists, book-burning is making a rapid comeback, at least at San Jose State:

At speaking of the academic left believing that books have evil talismanic powers, Aaron Clarey spots a hilariously overblown reaction from a librarian who came across my February interview with Aaron on his then-new book Bachelor Pad Economics.

A hundred years ago, a central tenet of the left was “epater la bourgeoisie” — or shock the middle class. Apparently, they didn’t consider that their ideology would become so sclerotic and brittle that it would eventually transform them into a remarkably vapour-prone class of the bourgeois in constant search of the fainting couch. But then, as original Saturday Night Live writer Anne Beatts once said, you can only be avant-garde for so long before you come garde.

“Good news. There’s no need to watch any more speeches made by President Obama,” David Rutz of the Washington Free Beacon writes:

When he starts to speak, you know in advance he’ll tell you it’s great to be back in whatever town he’s in.

He’ll advise you to have a seat (twice) and appreciate the introduction from his fellow Democrat.

He’ll certainly love you back.

Even the most formulaic rock stars and comedians know that they need to shake up the act every now and then and change the set list for their live gigs. As Mark Steyn wrote in Bob Hope’s 2003 obit, Hope was the first comedian to brag about using outside writers to keep his routines fresh and topical:

If Hope started out as the first modern comic, he quickly became the first post-modern one. Other comedians had writers, but they didn’t talk about them. Radio gobbled up your material so you needed fellows on hand to provide more. But Hope not only used writers, he made his dependence on them part of the act: “I have an earthquake emergency kit at my house. It’s got food, water and half-a-dozen writers.”

As the World’s Biggest Celebrity, Mr. Obama has access to even more show-biz writers than even Bob Hope could have dreamed of — and he dines with his fellow celebrities with increasing frequency. The New York Times, mining territory that Matthew Continetti of the Washington Free Beacon first explored a month and a half ago, breathlessly declared yesterday that “At Dinner Tables, a Restless Obama Finds an Intellectual Escape:”

Previous dinners at the White House have drawn varied celebrities, including Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Morgan Freeman and Bono. Many of the guests — including the Smiths and Mr. Freeman, as well as Anne Wojcicki — have been financial supporters of Mr. Obama’s campaigns.

Perhaps the acting president could ask Morgan Freeman or Will Smith who the hot writers in Hollywood are these days. Or Bono how to shake up a set list and reboot a dissipated live act that’s seen far too many encores and is now phoning it in:

Dispatches from Tranquility Base

July 15th, 2014 - 11:48 am

Which of these dueling headlines is real? You make the call!

“Obama Contends With Arc of Instability Not Seen Since ‘70s.”

—The Wall Street Journal, July 13th.

“WH: We’ve ‘Substantially Improved the Tranquility of the Global Community’”

CNS News, quoting the paradoxically named White House press secretary Josh Earnest, yesterday.

Which one is real? Well, to paraphrase Alvy Singer in 1977, I have to go now Josh, because I’m due back on Planet Earth. And speaking of the 1970s, as Steve Hayward writes at Power Line, linking to the above Wall Street Journal article, “Can the killer rabbit be very long in coming?”

As we noted here the other day, Obama has fully matched Jimmy Carter’s fecklessness, reviving Henry Kissinger’s summation, which is worth repeating:

“The Carter administration has managed the extraordinary feat of having, at one and the same time, the worst relations with our allies, the worst relations with our adversaries, and the most serious upheavals in the developing world since the end of the Second World War.”

I think it was Glenn Reynolds who first remarked that a rerun of Carter might be a best-case scenario for the Obama presidency, and it appears he has understated the depth of the problem.  This is what happens when you have a president who decides the U.S. can simply check out of world leadership.

Not to mention a president who has personally checked out as well from leadership of the federal government.

Al Gore Hardest Hit

July 14th, 2014 - 12:38 pm

“People who claim to worry about climate change use more electricity,” the London Telegraph reports:

People who claim to worry about climate change use more electricity than those who do not, a Government study has found.

Those who say they are concerned about the prospect of climate change consume more energy than those who say it is “too far into the future to worry about,” the study commissioned by the Department for Energy and Climate Change found.

That is in part due to age, as people over 65 are more frugal with electricity but much less concerned about global warming.

However, even when pensioners are discounted, there is only a “weak trend” to show that people who profess to care about climate change do much to cut their energy use.

Al Gore could not be reached to comment from the other side of his three monitors, plasma screen TVs, private jets, mansions and former TV channel sold in 2013 to an Arab oil emirate.

al_gore_energy_hog_2007

Have You Seen This Man?

July 2nd, 2014 - 11:52 am


Curiously, searching on “Bruce Springsteen Iraq” in Google and setting the time parameter for the past month doesn’t bring up anything remotely relevant. But then, as Moe Lane writes, “I guess the Left is comfortable with our quiet troop buildup in Iraq:”

Refreshing: despite my earlier sardonic commentary about Democrats rolling over on this, I still wondered whether we’d have more progressives protesting over this. Or rioting.  Guess even the most hardcore Lefty can detect a brick wall after he’s run into it six or seven times.

The United States has sent Apache attack helicopters to Iraq as part of the buildup in U.S. military personnel, the Pentagon said Tuesday.

Officials would not say how many of the armed helicopters have been sent to the country, stating only that they will be based in Baghdad and could assist with evacuations of American personnel.

…Yes, I suppose that they could. Or they could be there for airstrikes against the terrorist army that Barack Obama unaccountably just let set up shop again in Iraq.

Of course, as long as Obama calls the troops “advisors,” perhaps anti-war celebrities think of them as managers and agents — they’ll get their 12 percent of the royalties from al-Maliki’s production company, but hopefully they want the points on the net, rather than the gross.

But in 1985, Springsteen was telling his listeners, “Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed,” before grunting his remake of Edwin Starr’s hoary-old 1969 Motown song “War, What Is it Good For.”* Last September though, Springsteen was cheerfully fundraising for Obama, even as Obama was saber-rattling in Syria. It got to the point where even left-leaning Buzzfeed created one of their patented listicles on “14 Principled Anti-War Celebrities We Fear May Have Been Kidnapped.” As I wrote back then, BuzzFeed, astonishingly enough, put out an All-Points Bulletin, along with some exceedingly precious quotes as part of each celebrity’s “Last-Known Pre-2009 Communication” before these otherwise perilously outspoken far left celebrities voluntarily started BenSmithing themselves into oblivion:

“I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies.”
— Sheryl Crow

“I think we’re past that point in human evolution where there’s such a thing as winning wars.”
— Sean Penn

“It is very inspiring and amusing how many people have come out in this genuine and spontaneous way to embrace peace and reject war. It reminds us there is a human and gentle spirit out there in this world.”
— Tim Robbins

“American people always have to be tricked into going to war, they always have to be cajoled. I mean, there’s a long history of being lied to, of having things described in a particular way, in order to get them out of their sort of isolationist… prosperity mode and go to war.”
— Jackson Brown

“War is failure! When you are at war, you have failed!”
— Janeane Garofalo

And Janeane and failure are on exceedingly good terms. But she may have had the best explanation in 2003 as to why her fellow leftists gave Bill Clinton a pass during his myriad foreign adventures in the 1990s, and brought forward a decade to explain why Obama gets as a pass as well: “it wasn’t very hip.”

Last September, I did a few milk carton Photoshops of missing anti-war celebrities. Perhaps it’s time to crank out a few more. But then, as one of Moe’s commenters writes, “Don’t worry, antiwar protestors will become fashionable again as soon as the GOP wins the [White House].”

Hipness and ideological consistency are quite cyclical things for celebrity anti-war leftists, apparently.

* Apparently borrowed from the first draft title of Tolstoy’s War and Peace

“The Circle Is Complete — Robots To Write The Earnings ‘Reports’ Read By Robots,” ZeroHedge Reports:

Has Skynet become self-aware? It seems the ‘robots’ that run the US equity markets (HFT/algo trading dominates what little volume there is left) have decided to cut out the middle man in the market as Associated Press reports this morning that it will employ the story-writing software by start-up Automated Insights to automate the production of U.S. corporate earnings stories. To be frank, given the copy/paste nature of most mainstream media ‘analysis’ of earnings, we thought this had already occurred but AP notes, “We are going to use our brains and time in more enterprising ways during earnings season.” Does that mean that anyone but Zero Hedge will be discussing cashflows or GAAP earnings?

As USA Today reports, The Associated Press is going robotic:

The news service revealed Monday it will employ the story-writing software by start-up Automated Insights to automate the production of U.S. corporate earnings stories, the quarterly bane of the existence of many business reporters.

The AP typically produces about 300 earnings stories per quarter, requiring reporters to crunch data in the heat of wire-service deadlines. Soon they will be producing many, many more.

Using the software would allow AP to automate short earnings stories, typically 150 to 300 words, “in roughly the same time that it took our reporters,” says Lou Ferrara, the AP managing editor who oversees business news. The initiative will start in July.

Since Max Headroom and Ananova are both in mothballs, Japan is currently preparing the next generation of android newsreaders to broadcast these reports:

Just program her to blindly worship Barack Obama, and the aging Andrea Mitchell 9000 android employed by NBC can finally be mothballed as well.

Heh. Or as Allahpundit writes:

First “don’t ask, don’t tell,” then DOMA, now RFRA: Precisely how many statutes signed by Bill Clinton are the Clintons currently horrified by?

It’ll be fun during President Hillary’s administration to try to identify the various laws that Senator Chelsea will be forced to repudiate circa 2036.

* * * * * * * *

By the way, since Hillary and, presumably, Bill are so mortified to find that closely held corporations count as “persons” for purposes of RFRA, I’m curious: Did either of them demand any clarification of who’d be covered by the statute before Bill signed it in 1993? You would think the Smartest Woman In The World, who hates corporations every bit as much as Elizabeth Warren when she’s not busy hitting them up for contributions, would have flagged that potential wrinkle before Bill made it the law of the land. Huh.

Beyond feminist identity politics, Hillary’s appeal derives from nostalgia of her husband’s two terms and the good feelings they engender to moderates and the left. (The ’90s: The Last Great Decade? is the title of an upcoming miniseries on the National Geographic cable TV channel. Coincidental timing? I would tend to doubt it.) But economically, those good times relied entirely on Bill’s eventual rejection of the far left corporatism (read: liberal fascism) that Hillary, Al Gore, Obama and Elizabeth Warren all wallow in. Not to mention the arrival of a Republican Congress that allowed Bill to govern as the moderate he ran as in 1992, after his own Obama-esque collectivist floundering in his first two years in office culminating in the Hillarycare flameout.

What’s the sense of supporting Clinton when she’s rejected everything her husband’s administration stood for? Other than pure identity politics. And if identity politics is all that you’re left with, why not go with someone who practices that dark art much more skillfully than Hillary? (And like Obama in 2007 and 2008, has far left historical baggage dragging her down.)

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“To wit: people who have been programmed into screaming about this case, wound up, and sent on their merry way… and their merry way has led them to SCOTUSBlog, which apparently a large cross-section of the Left-Internet thinks is the official blog of the Supreme Court**. SCOTUSBlog, God bless ‘em, are retweeting the best – which is to say, most hysterical – comments, presumably so that the Left’s handlers will get into action and exert some control over their epistemic closure poster children.”

Update: No wonder the left (a) melted down over Hobby Lobby and (b) directed so much venomous anger at SCOTUSBlog: Stacy McCain explores the Existential Theory of Liberalism, in which he posits, “To a liberal, nothing exists unless it is mandated, subsidized and/or regulated by the federal government.”

I think such a worldview loses something in translation, however. Doesn’t “Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato” — living la dolce eschaton! — sound much more enticing?

But Then, Isn’t Everything?

June 30th, 2014 - 11:56 am

WaPo’s “Eugene Robinson: Hobby Lobby Sort of Like Segregationists,” Mark Finkelstein writes at NewsBusters:

Hobby Lobby’s objection on religious grounds to paying for abortion-causing contraceptives for its employees reminds Eugene Robinson of segregationists who cited the Bible in support of their views. In his great magnimity, Robinson allowed that the Hobby Lobby case “is perhaps a bit different.” But if the WaPo columnist didn’t think the segregation analogy were relevant, he presumably wouldn’t have cited it in the first place on today’s Morning Joe.

There was also a point of light on the show. Donny Deutsch, after announcing that he was “far from a conservative,” nevertheless went on to make the explicitly free-market argument that “nobody is forcing anybody to work at Hobby Lobby.” View the video after the jump.

Would Robinson insist that an African-American owned catering firm couldn’t decline to provide services to a KKK dinner, or that a gay photographer couldn’t refuse to work a wedding between two traditional-marriage activists? Would such refusals also remind him of segregation, or does the analogy arise in the Hobby Lobby case because the firm espouses values with which he disagrees?

Don’t all forms of pushback against Democrat excess paradoxically remind Robinson of segregation, and/or racism?

Speaking of which, one night last week while at the gym, I watched about a half-hour of The Sixties, the Tom-Hanks-produced CNN series designed for public consumption in airport departure lounges across the country, which was playing on the TV above my treadmill. The segment I watched was devoted to the civil rights movement of the JFK-LBJ era. I was astounded at how much racism in the south in the 1950s and ’60s was caused by politicians of absolutely no political affiliation whatsoever. Perhaps this episode was rushed to air before all of the text could be added to the Chyrons in the segment.

Life Imitates Night Shift

June 29th, 2014 - 9:15 pm

Now is the time when we juxtapose, Small Dead Animals-style:

Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I’m an idea man, Chuck. I get ideas coming at me all day. I can’t control ‘em. I can’t even fight ‘em if I want to. You know, ‘AHHH!’ So I say ‘em in here, and that way I never forget ‘em. You see what I’m sayin’?

[speaking into tape recorder]

Stand back, this is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it’s gone! You eat it, it’s outta there! No more garbage!

—Michael Keaton as Manhattan morgue attendant turned would-be pimp “Bill Blazejowski” in the 1982 film Night Shift.

I’m a weirdo who eats her cupcakes with a fork, but thanks to these new edible cupcake wrappers, I guess I don’t have to anymore! I can bite right into the side of the thing without having to worry about peeling the paper back without dropping half the cupcake onto the sidewalk (okay, wait, the visual of haphazardly chomping into a delicate baked good doesn’t sound too dignified either).

The wrappers, made by Dr. Oetker, are wafer-like, gluten free*, and can survive being baked. They can even hold up in the oven without a cupcake tray — on what planet is that a reality!? The downside is that they’re pretty pricey. A pack of six is $4, which is a bit too steep to be worth it — unless, of course, they start turning up in Pinterest recipes. Then maybe I’ll consider the splurge.

“We Obviously All Need These Edible Cupcake Wrappers,” The Frisky, yesterday.

Found via Maetenloch at AoSHQ; truly, we live in an age of technological and gustatory miracles.

* What is Gluten?

Quote of the Day

June 29th, 2014 - 2:04 pm

Calling it early today with this one, from the Blogfather. (Don’t miss the comments there, as well):

THAT’S RACISM, STRAIGHT UP: Hillary “Disrespects” Obama. To people clucking that the First Black President deserves more respect, may I suggest that you should have done a better job of picking the First Black President? I mean, Jackie Robinson was a really good ballplayer. If he’d instead, well . . . thrown a baseball like Barack Obama, it would have been different.

Oh, and just a reminder that “disrespect” is not a verb.

Send in the Clones

June 27th, 2014 - 1:00 pm

In Oklahoma, “Congressional candidate feels opponent is a body double,” NBC affiliate KFOR reports:

An Oklahoma congressional candidate has announced he plans to contest Tuesday’s primary election of long time Rep. Frank Lucas.

In a bizarre letter obtained by NewsChannel 4, Tim Murray says he doesn’t feel Rep. Lucas is qualified for office.

“It does come as kind of a shock to read that you’re not you,” said Rep. Lucas, (R) District 3.

Murray brings it up in his letter announcing his plan to contest Lucas’s election writing, “…it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike.”

NewsChannel 4 called Murray numerous times after he sent the letter. He did not return any of our messages.

However, his campaign website goes into detail about his theory that Lucas was hanged “…executed by the world court on or about jan. 11, 2011…” in Ukraine.

“I’ve never been to Ukraine,” said Rep. Lucas.

Well, here’s something you don’t read every day:

News Person,

The election for U.S. House for Oklahoma’s 3rd District will be contested by the Candidate, Timothy Ray Murray. I will be stating that his votes are switched with Rep. Lucas votes, because it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike. Rep. Lucas’ look alike was depicted as sentenced on a white stage in southern Ukraine on or about

Jan. 11, 2011.

This is a situation similar to the Senators’ from Kentucky situation in the 2012 election. I am contesting that this matter has happen since his election was blocked, because of the U.S. Defense Department’s use of Mr. Murray’s DNA. To my knowledge, the U.S. Defense Department has not released to the public that information, as it is their confidential information about many people. Congress is likely wanting me to state that all my DNA used will not result in benefits to people I have never had relations with of a family nature. I have been bound to protect that information unless it causes harm to The People.

The contest of election and or petition will be correctly filed with county election boards and with federal offices. I, Hon. Mr. Timothy Ray Murray, fully meet all Constitutional, Federal and Oklahoma requirements for election and for holding Office if the voters’ results show that is the case.

Thank You for your service in giving Oklahomans great current news and information.

Sincerely,

(Digital signature was recorded)

Hon. Timothy Ray Murray

Has Murray tried playing Lucas’s campaign videos backwards, as well?

paul_is_dead_cover_6-27-14-1

Has he brought in Batman to solve the case?

batman_paul_is_dead_6-27-14

The truth is out there — and I certainly hope that the would-be congressman devotes all of his efforts to finding it, no matter how many years or decades it takes…

(Via AoSHQ.)

Related: “Meteorologist brought to tears by climate change report asks, ‘Is global warming destabilizing Iraq?’”

No word yet if he’s jetting out to investigate the situation personally.

Oh, to be in Bipolar England

June 26th, 2014 - 2:16 pm

Now is the time when we juxtapose, Small Dead Animals-style:

Bella Mackie, a Guardian comment moderator and daughter of the paper’s editor Alan Rusbridger, recounts her own fearless, indeed Herculean struggle with an addiction to… Diet Coke: “Giving up my favourite drink was as difficult as I had feared. I set about it with a determination to go cold turkey, knowing that even one can would make me slip back into old habits.” There followed a dark downward spiral. “For the first month, I felt exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open at my desk. Then came the nerves, the feeling that something was missing.” Yes, dear reader. Feel her pain and weep.

Contrast the above (as spotted by David Thompson) with this passage from Theodore Dalrymple’s recent speech to Hillsdale College:

Withdrawal from opiates, the fearfulness of which, reiterated in film and book, is often given as one of the main reasons for not abandoning the habit, is in fact a pretty trivial condition, certainly by comparison with illnesses which most of us have experienced, or by comparison with withdrawal from other drugs. I have never heard an alcoholic say, for example, that he fears to give up alcohol because of delirium tremens—a genuinely dangerous medical condition, unlike withdrawal from heroin. Research has shown that medical treatment is not necessary for heroin addicts to abandon their habit and that many thousands do so without any medical intervention whatsoever.

In Britain at least, heroin addicts do not become criminals because they are addicted (and can raise funds to buy their drugs only by crime); those who take heroin and indulge in criminal behavior have almost always indulged in extensive criminal behavior before they were ever addicted. Criminality is a better predictor of addiction than is addiction of criminality.

In other words, all the bases upon which heroin addiction is treated as if it is something that happens to people rather than something that people do are false, and easily shown to be false. This is so whatever the latest neuro-scientific research may supposedly show.

I have taken the example of heroin addiction as emblematic of what, with some trepidation, I may call the dialectical relationship between the worldview of those at the bottom of society and the complementary worldview of what one might call the salvationist bureaucracy of the government. In the old Soviet Union there was a joke in which the workers would say to the party bosses, “We pretend to work and you pretend to pay us.” In the case of the heroin addicts, they might say, “We pretend to be ill, and you pretend to cure us.”

Dalrymple is a daily reminder than the British used to be made of sterner stuff. Still, I can’t help but think that somewhere in the Bizarro World, a still-alive Lou Reed is busy re-writing the lyrics to “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony),” the 1971 Coca-Cola ad.

(Via Maggie’s Farm.)

Ed Driscoll.com Regrets the Error

June 23rd, 2014 - 12:15 pm

In a post last month titled, “Why Democrats Call Americans Racist,” we posited:

As in the 2010 midterms, expect the madness from the left to ramp up exponentially between now and November. They’re just getting started.

(And then presumably some time between mid-November and the start of the new year, the left will begin declaring half of America sexist. Unexpectedly.)

We apologize for getting the timing wrong; DNC Vice Chairwoman Donna Brazile opened up that particular assault on Americans, yesterday:

donna_brazile_america_sexist_6-23-14

Click to enlarge.

As Ed Morrissey responds, “Ahem:”

Brazile and her fellow Democrats spent all summer in 2012 attacking Mitt Romney’s wealth and the business he created, even while Barack Obama kept a former Bain exec as an advisor. Harry Reid accused Romney of tax evasion for a decade, allegations which proved utterly false, in an attempt to pressure Romney into releasing his income tax records for Democrats to attack — which they did, incessantly. Romney, who never pretended to be a middle-class guy “struggling” to pay his bills, got repeatedly painted as a prep-school elitist who couldn’t possibly understand the experience of middle America on the basis and origin of his wealth.

Now, suddenly, focusing on wealth is not just improper but sexist. In Clintonworld, what’s good for the gander is decidedly not good for the goose, so it’s time to smear critics to pre-empt the attacks. Outside Democrats aren’t the only ones panicking over Hillary’s gaffe-a-thon, apparently.

And thus, the next two and a half years or more of reactionary leftwing punditry write itself. In 2007 and 2008, America was a hotbed of the very worst sorts of racism, which could only find redemption from original sin by electing a leftwing black president. And then in 2010, when Americans turned on that president — as they tend to do during the midterms of most presidents, no matter what their ideological worldviews, America returned to being the epicenter of the very worst sorts of racism in the eyes of the Democrat operatives with bylines*.

Similarly, for the next two and a half years, America will be a focal point of the most rank sorts of sexism, and will only be able to redeem itself by electing the first leftwing woman president. And then if it actually does, will return to its medieval ways when it turns on her in the midterms of her administration.

Plus ça change.

Exit quote, which applies equally well to debates regarding would-be presidential candidates as well:

* H/T: IP.

The Million Metaphor March

June 23rd, 2014 - 10:39 am

Headline of the Day: “US Student is Rescued from Giant Vagina Sculpture in Germany:”

According to [its sculptor, Peruvian artist Fernando de la Jara], the 32-ton sculpture made out of red Veronese marble is meant to signify “the gateway to the world”.

Police confirmed that the firefighters turned midwives delivered the student “by hand and without the application of tools”.

The mayor of Tübingen told the Süddeutsche Zeitung newspaper that he struggled to imagine how the accident could have happened, “even when considering the most extreme adolescent fantasies. To reward such a masterly achievement with the use of 22 firefighters almost pains my soul.”

Since my friend Steve Green is currently on vacation, allow me to add: you know you’re not supposed to do that, right?

(Via Twitchy, whose name is extra-appropriate for this story, of course.)

Night of the Sitting Dead

June 22nd, 2014 - 12:14 pm

When “Funeral Poses Mimic Life” is the topic of an article in yesterday’s New York Times:

All last week, people were calling Louis Charbonnet to find out how they might avoid lying down at their funerals. Funeral directors have called; so have people with their own requests, such as the woman who wanted to be seen for the last time standing over her cooking pot.

The calls started coming in to the Charbonnet-Labat Funeral Home during its June 12 viewing for Miriam Burbank, who died at 53 and spent her service sitting at a table amid miniature New Orleans Saints helmets, with a can of Busch beer at one hand and a menthol cigarette between her fingers, just as she had spent a good number of her living days.

Word of the arrangement began to spread, hundreds showed up, the news spread online, and now here was Mr. Charbonnet getting a call from a funeral director in Australia.

Do not miss the astonishing photo of the late Mrs. Burbank atop the article. I grew up in a Catholic family, and open-casket viewings of the deceased before his funeral were an accepted tradition, but we never considered posing their embalmed remains into dioramas. As for that concept, allow me a couple of perspicacious phrases that help to shape modern punditry: Ewwwwwww — and DO NOT WANT.

Perhaps though, this trend could be nurtured into its next phase by really going back to the future. We could embed the dioramas inside of large triangular-shaped masonry structures to help the deceased make his transition to the afterlife.

Pose (for eternity) like an Egyptian — born in Arizona, get a condo made of a stone-a!