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Ed Driscoll

Interview: Helen Smith Talks Men on Strike

June 17th, 2013 - 12:05 am

MR. DRISCOLL:  Your blog is one of the most popular at PJ Media, and there are number of comments from your readers quoted in Men on Strike. Could you talk a bit about how the blog posts you wrote and the response to them by your commenters led to the new book, and the process in writing it?

DR. SMITH:  Yes.  I actually — I stupidly, about five years ago, I think I had — or maybe it was six years ago, I did a blog post asking men — you know, just asking men, should they get married.  And I thinking like, oh, well, it’s — you know, there’s some nice reasons men should get married.  But all the men on my blog really set me straight.  And they really got me thinking and let me know that, you know something, it is not such a good deal for us.

It’s really, as time goes on, so many men are afraid of the legal aspects.  The psychological aspects, where a lot of the men on my blog mentioned that they — you know, were cut off from friendships, they were cut off from spending time with family, friends.  And some of the research bears this out.  And I know — well, I don’t know if you call this research, but I know there was an article I was reading that was men’s health, and they talked about how it was so important for men to be around their friends, and that actually it’s worse for men — for men’s self-esteem to have no — you know, not to be around friends when they’re married, because men tend to be more loners, and they don’t connect as well.  And to lose that during a marriage is to isolate them more, and maybe you see more of a rise in depression in men, which of course, turning that around, can lead to the suicide that we were talking about earlier.  That’s an extreme form.

But going back to the blog posts, yeah, everything I really learned — I learned a lot from the Internet, but it was also from my experience having worked twenty years before with so many men.  And I’ve evaluated, you know, probably five or six thousand individuals, at least half, probably more of them being men and boys.  And just hearing from them and hearing — I think the great thing about the blogesphere, is that you can hear from so many different voices from really all of the world.  But, you know, a lot of what I — the guys I talked to were in the United States.  And a lot of them actually write me from PJ Media.  I mean, they write me all the time.

And one of the things that really warms my heart about the book so far, of the men who have read it — it’ll be readers from PJ Media, and it’ll be guys who say, you know, what?  I got your book.  And my mom or somebody didn’t really understand where I was coming from, why I feel — you know, I was always told I was cynical and depressed.  I felt alone.

And maybe they could, you know, give the book to their mom, or maybe it would help maybe even a woman in their life to understand a little bit more, or at least it — the best thing is that it would make me make them feel like they’re not alone, like oh, their ideas are correct.  And their feeling that things are not right, that the legal and the psychological and cultural environment is — there is this backlash against men.  And I think we need to right that.  We need — and the same way we righted it against women — we don’t want to go so far the other way that we harm our — you know, our men and boys who are so important to the production and to the wellbeing of this country.

MR. DRISCOLL:  Helen, when you discuss the topics explored in Men on Strike with people who haven’t read your book or your blog, do they react negatively or surprised at the notion that men can be victims?

DR. SMITH:  You know, I don’t know if I really want to call it victims.  I mean, I guess in some sense, that’s what people say.  But rather than victims, I guess, you know, can men to be discriminated against.  Absolutely.  But what do people say?  I mean it depends who you’re talking to.

A lot of times — for example, I was talking to maybe a liberal journalist, and they would look surprised.  And their mind is very closed to that type of thing, especially older men, because they feel like they’ve never seen that in their lifetime.  If I talk to younger guys, they totally get what I’m talking about.

If I talk to women, they sometimes don’t understand.  Like what I’ll do with women, if they talk to me a little bit, and I’ll say — they’ll tell me — they think my book — they’ll hear — if they ask what it’s about and I say men or strike or why men — I just tell them it’s why men don’t want to get married, and they think, oh, I’m a — oh, it’s a psychologist writing a cute book about how to help me learn how to rope a man, or something.

And in truth, it’s — that’s the antithesis of what the book’s about.  The book is all about why, you know, from a political and legal standpoint, men don’t want to get married anymore.

But what I ask women, and even men sometimes is I’ll say to them, name me, you know five reasons — five legal reasons, men should get married.  Now, I understand the psychological ones.  You know, they want — they want to be with a certain woman, they love this person, of course.  But I say name me five legal reasons, and honestly, I’ve not had one yet that could.

So you know, I think that — I think that sort of opens their eyes, sometimes, too — and I think that the reaction from women is — I don’t think women have ever put themselves in men’s shoes.  Women talk about being the empathetic sex, but in reality, I’m so bothered, in some sense, that women don’t have empathy, a lot of times, for men.  But at the same time, there are a lot of great women out there who, if you just sort of — if they stop and think about it, they think, oh, well, maybe that sort of makes sense.

But the other thing I wanted to turn around is say is from a men’s perspective, a lot of men just deny that this is happening.  Oh, I’ve never had that happen, or this is ridiculous, or they want to sort of say, well, I don’t believe in this.  And I’m — it’s kind of like there’s an old saying that, you know, you may not believe in war, but war believes in you.

You may — you know, you may think that nothing will happen to you, but if that woman at your job points a finger at you and says you did something to her or you said something to her inappropriate, and you know, you don’t have a leg to stand on.  You may be hauled before the HR department with little support, and you may find out that your rights aren’t — you know, that being a man isn’t going to help you in any way, and that in fact, you may be a target.

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Top Rated Comments   
I would have to agree with Real Deal. Have you read any text books lately? Most if not all are now written by raging leftists who can barely contain their hatred of the Founding Fathers, at least in the humanities and social sciences. History textbooks are one big overview of all the sins of the white, male, Christian leaders, and a favorable presentation of those who were their "victims". The authors do not even attempt to hide their extreme bias.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
The ironic thing is that the white male and his Western Culture, warts and all, has done more to advance the cause of individual liberty and equality than any other groups in the history of man kind. Now he's the the bad guy. Look around ladies, there is no other culture where women are men's equals. Islamic? Fat chance. Asian? Only where Western influence has taken root. African? Nope. South American? Again Western cultural influence.

White male children are conditioned to hate themselves in our public schools through a skewed cirruculum, half truths, and outright lies. They are further attacked by sexualizing them at young ages to confuse them during their adolecent years.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Hmm - I 'went Galt' over 35 years ago. I divorced my wife of 12 years - and was granted custody of our 4 year old daughter that same day. No easy feat back in those days, I was determined - persistent - even in the face of a lawyer who kept telling me I was 'going against the grain'. I convinced him I was serious and he either needed to get on board with the idea or I'd find another lawyer - he got the message. And a lot of my money. You'd have to know my ex-wife to know why I was so persistent.

Anyway what I found out about women was quite telling. Being a single dad made me quite attractive to many women. But they were interested in me for what I was doing for my daughter - providing for her - and thats what they wanted for their own children - and for her too - a provider. But the most surprising thing I found is women aren't much interested in raising another woman's child! Trust me - the image in books and stories about the step-mother isn't over-done. And why don't you hear much about the mean old step-dad? Because guys for the most part are quite agreeable to raising other men's children as their own. Women? Not so much.

After a few one-way relationships that seemed to be going nowhere but in the direction of the GF I was living with at the time I got tired of playing baby-sitter for their kids (favor seldom returned!) - tired of supplying (paying for) a better car than I was driving for the current GF - tired of making up the bulk of the rent and bills - I decided my daughter and I would live alone. Even after she graduated high school and entered college and moved away from home I continued to live alone. And still do today. What is the worst line I've ever heard a woman say when I ask them why we should live together? "Cause I'm worth it"! Err... no you aren't honey! But nice try! Almost every ex-GF has claimed that same "Cause I'm worth it"!

I've had friends ask me what my Harley Electra Glide cost - my reply "About what a wife would"! I see it in their eyes - they'd love to have a motorcycle but the 'little woman' won't let them. These are the same guys that are 'restricted' to those teeny tiny little home theater speakers cause the wife don't like big speakers (mine are massive!) "in my home". Contrast that with the same guy saying he doesn't deny his wife anything she wishes for (within $$$ reason). And most of these guys can afford a motorcycle - they just can't afford the divorce. To which I say get divorced early on or forget it altogether.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (25)
All Comments   (25)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
well, women have proven again and again how brilliant they are with all the inventions and scient...what's that? oh.

well women are proving they are mens' equal by not needing any extra rights in the work pla.... oh yeah, sorry, i forgot about that affirmative action thing.

well in government they ... most gov. programs are designed to help women?

wait a minute. does every aspect of life that women are involved in have special privileges? on t.v. they are always portrayed as the smart one. is that a lie? is there any area where women have 'competed' and did well w/o special treatment? oh yeah, spending somebody else's hard earned $$.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"The state transfers men’s production to women and children"

Yes I get this and agree but I would go further. It also transfers the production of private sector men to the public sector. We need to go Galt against the whole damn system. I always get a kick out of public service union shills who claim that they want everyone to have what they call "decent wages and benefits". Their union bosses - at least those who know anything about economics - must cringe when they hear such things. Their fat salaries, pensions and benefits for life that they receive for putting relatively worthless things into the common pot are only valuable because the rest of us toil in obscurity and at much lower compensation to provide the real goods and services that they consume.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Tune in, drop out, and don't set yourself on fire. Got it.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Wow!
What an exotic looking strikingly beauty woman she is . Her husband must be a saint to share her with so many down in the dumps men seeking a voice to express themselves with their poetry from the depths of the man cave
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Two points, re: the media portrayal of men, it is tiresome, women are constantly put in the roles of men at a rate far, far, higher than reality. The classic was an episode of NCIS Los Angeles where the female agent was sparring with a male agent that was a former SEAL and is a large man. Well the didn't show her beating him, but she went toe to toe with him, which of course is ridiculous. Why this need to make a bizarre equality between men and women? As a father of two boys, I constantly here parents trying to equate the physical abilities of girls with boys. Why? It is idiotic and effectively impossible due to hormonal and physical differences. There was a female high school baseball pitcher that got a scholarship to a tiny school, based on her stats (obviously she threw knuckleballs) no boy would make any collegiate team, anywhere. So why was she selected?

Probably 95% of police detectives are men over 40, but you would think 50% were women over 30 if you watch TV.

The second point is part of the problem is the feminizing of men. Manliness used to be, honor, determination, fidelity, diligence, blessing our children. It has become porn, adultery, sloth, alcohol and drugs (not saying it's ever been perfect, just talking percentages).
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
The ironic thing is that the white male and his Western Culture, warts and all, has done more to advance the cause of individual liberty and equality than any other groups in the history of man kind. Now he's the the bad guy. Look around ladies, there is no other culture where women are men's equals. Islamic? Fat chance. Asian? Only where Western influence has taken root. African? Nope. South American? Again Western cultural influence.

White male children are conditioned to hate themselves in our public schools through a skewed cirruculum, half truths, and outright lies. They are further attacked by sexualizing them at young ages to confuse them during their adolecent years.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Real Deal, I don't think it's usually that blatant. It's like Dr. Smith says, boys are made to feel bad about who they are by the very structure of the school. God bless those teachers that understand and appreciate boys! But there are some that don't, we had one, that called us in telling us how squirrely our son was and asked if he was "slow" (in some many words). I asked if she'd looked at his file (of course she hadn't) and seen that until her class he had straight A's. That awful teacher managed to take a great student and mess him up, simply because he did not fit the girl model of student.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I would have to agree with Real Deal. Have you read any text books lately? Most if not all are now written by raging leftists who can barely contain their hatred of the Founding Fathers, at least in the humanities and social sciences. History textbooks are one big overview of all the sins of the white, male, Christian leaders, and a favorable presentation of those who were their "victims". The authors do not even attempt to hide their extreme bias.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I disagree, its deliberate and blatent. The reason you don't think so is that the process was gradual and you were told things in school, your kids are told even more leftist propaganda, and their kids told even more.

When did your school start teaching sex ed? What grade? Did it include homosexuality as a social norm? Kids are now being taught this stuff as early as 5 or 6 years old in some places. What are they taught about American History? How much are the positive aspects of our nation taught and how much are the negative emphasized? What do they hear about the Founding Fathers? Are they presented as learned forward thinking men who in spite of any flaws should be admired for what they wrought or "rich white slave owners"?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
many years ago, on a first date, i was informed by a young divorcee that the only reason she would consider remarriage was for financial security for her children. a few months later she didn't understand why i wasn't interested in marrying her.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Unfortunately, my brother ended up marrying someone in that position with 3 kids. As soon as the last one was up and out, she filed for divorce. What a surprise.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Prostitution isn't the World's oldest profession; marriage is.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I wonder how many young men have gotten vasectomies as a vaccination against child support? How many women who want children are going to have to settle for dubious sperm from sperm banks. "Ayup my cousin Elmo gets beer money from the sperm bank. He claims to be a genius but it took him two tries to graduate from high school. He had to work at failing."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
These people need to produce worthwhile evidence of the ability that they think they have.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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