Publisher’s Weekly just did a review of my forthcoming book Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters:

When W.E.B. DuBois posed the question to black America—“How does it feel to be a problem?”—he probably never imagined that just a little more than a century later, someone would be asking the same of male America. But that’s precisely what Smith, a forensic psychologist and men’s-rights activist, wonders in this incendiary, if shaky, treatise on “the crime of happening to be male in the twenty-first century.” To explain why men are “going Galt” (as in John Galt, from Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged), meaning intentionally opting out of institutions like marriage and higher education, Smith blames society: “Masculinity is frowned upon and belittled in every aspect of society,” the media depicts men as “goofballs and idiots” or sexual predators, and laws like Title IX and those governing child support equate to a “crackdown on… everyday college guys” and unwitting or wrongly fingered fathers. In the final pages, Smith outlines an action plan for men and their allies that includes further reading, legal advice, and information on organizations that fight for men’s rights. Some of Smith’s research is weak or anecdotal—she relies heavily on blog comments and random men she meets at bars and in the gym—but her stance is sure to incite lively debate. (June 18)

One thing that struck me as I read over it and compared it to other books on gender issues is how differently PW reviews treat authors they agree with those that they don’t. My book is described by them as an “incendiary, if shaky, treatise” and the research “is weak or anecdotal—she relies heavily on blog comments and random men she meets at bars and in the gym—.” A PW review of Kathleen Parker’s Save the Males: Why Men Matter Why Women Should Care states:

Although Parker’s deliberate provocations make for lively reading, the majority of her claims are too fanciful and unsubstantiated to be genuinely thought provoking or even interesting (erectile dysfunction is caused by young, sexually aggressive women; women serving in the army put the nation at risk). Parker makes a poor conspiracy theorist, and her statistics and unverifiable theories are unable to make her case, however vehement or entertaining their presentation.

Another book that stands up for males, Christina Hoff Sommer’s The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men gets a pretty decent review but PW can’t leave well enough alone:

Sure to kick up dust in the highly charged gender debates, Sommers’s book is at its best when coolly debunking theories she contends are based on distorted research and skewed data, but descends into pettiness when she indulges in mudslinging at her opponents. Perhaps the most informed study yet in this area, this engrossing book sheds light on a controversial subject.

Compare this with the more agreeable tone used for books like Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead about the dearth of female leaders and how to solve the problem:

The author’s counsel—gleaned from her own experiences—includes suggestions for increasing self-confidence, particularly in the business world; understanding the role of mentors and how to identify them; building emotional relationships at work; not focusing on being liked; juggling marriage and children with a demanding job; and the importance of taking risks. “Hard work and results should be recognized by others, but when they aren’t, advocating for oneself becomes necessary,” Sandberg opines. A new generation of women will learn from Sandberg’s experiences, and those of her own generation will be inspired by this thoughtful and practical book.

Suddenly, the only “research” needed is Sandberg’s own experiences! The book is “thoughtful and practical.” Funny, when I picked it up in the bookstore, I found it dismissive to men and hardly thoughtful, but then, if a book is “thoughtful” towards women, it’s good, towards men, it’s “incendiary” and “mudslinging.”

Oh, well at least the review said the stance of my book “is sure to incite lively debate.” I sure hope so!

Blogger Dean Esmay sent me a link about Earl Silverman who was the first to open a  shelter for men who had been domestically abused in Calgary, Alberta . On April 26th, 2013, Mr. Silverman took his own life. The shelter is looking for help so they can stay open.  You can read more here.

That’s the question asked in the 1st chapter of a book I am reading called Escaping the Endless Adolescence: How We Can Help Our Teenagers Grow Up Before They Grow Old. From the description:

Do you sometimes wonder how your teen is ever going to survive on his or her own as an adult? Does your high school junior seem oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead? Does your academically successful nineteen-year-old still expect you to “just take care of” even the most basic life tasks?

Welcome to the stunted world of the Endless Adolescence. Recent studies show that today’s teenagers are more anxious and stressed and less independent and motivated to grow up than ever before. Twenty-five is rapidly becoming the new fifteen for a generation suffering from a debilitating “failure to launch.” Now two preeminent clinical psychologists tell us why and chart a groundbreaking escape route for teens and parents.

Drawing on their extensive research and practice, Joseph Allen and Claudia Worrell Allen show that most teen problems are not hardwired into teens’ brains and hormones but grow instead out of a “Nurture Paradox” in which our efforts to support our teens by shielding them from the growth-spurring rigors and rewards of the adult world have backfired badly. With compelling examples and practical and profound suggestions, the authors outline a novel approach for producing dramatic leaps forward in teen maturity, including:

• Turn Consumers into Contributors Help teens experience adult maturity–its bumps and its joys–through the right kind of employment or volunteer activity.
• Feed Them with Feedback Let teens see and hear how the larger world perceives them. Shielding them from criticism–constructive or otherwise–will only leave them unequipped to deal with it when they get to the “real world.”
• Provide Adult Connections Even though they’ll deny it, teens desperately need to interact with adults (including parents) on a more mature level–and such interaction will help them blossom!
• Stretch the Teen Envelope Do fewer things for teens that they can do for themselves, and give them tasks just beyond their current level of competence and comfort.

The authors point out that even young people who appear to be succeeding by conventional standards wake up in their mid-twenties clueless about how to find a job, manage money, cook, or live on their own. They are educated but unable to care for themselves. “Twenty-five is now becoming the new fifteen.”

According to the authors, teens are living in a “bubble” that is undermining their development. They have their room at home, school, the shopping mall etc. but it

cuts them off from meaningful roles in the adult world, cuts them off from close day-to-day contact with adults, and it hyperexposes them to peer relationships, which become their primary socializing influences.

The last chapter of the book points out that the staples of the Adulthood Diet are Challenge and Feedback. Teens don’t get much of it in their lives. We have done away with competition (too masculine, I suppose) and real-world feedback (kids need high self-esteem!) and therefore they never learn to master the larger world.

The book instructs parents and adults in how to teach kids to grow up and be an adult in today’s modern world. That’s no small feat. But better late than never because twenty-five should never be the new fifteen.

*****

Cross-posted at PJ Lifestyle 

More on suspended development:

Walter Hudson: American Immaturity: How We Grow Up After We Grow Old

John Hawkins: 5 Differences Between Boys and Real Men

Vox Day at Alpha Game Blog: “Every time you keep your head down in order to avoid trouble, you are collaborating with the enemy. Every time you keep your mouth shut because you think, just maybe, silence will improve your chances of getting laid, you are collaborating. Every time you meekly submit to your wife instead of providing her with the leadership she craves, you are collaborating.  Those who refuse to fight back are not brave, they are not being manly for suffering in silence, they are short-sighted cowards who have betrayed both their sex and their society.”

So says Walter Russell Mead at his American Interest blog:

Dr. Helen Smith highlights an explosive topic that few want to talk about openly: discrimination against male students on college campuses. As Dr. Helen notes, university policies on sexual misconduct, as well as societal bias, are putting many college men in the hot seat, but few seem to care:….

Accusations of sexual violence and sexual assault should never be taken lightly. But neither should accusations be taken as truth. America is a country based on rights and fair procedure. Those accused of serious offenses must not be deprived of their rights, and college authorities cannot, in their commendable desire to protect female students, deny male students their basic rights. Both male and female students must feel that their rights will be protected and that they will be treated equally by their university should conflict arise.

No matter what happens, communities of young people in their teens and twenties are going to witness the consequences of poor judgment and crossed signals. The old norm, in which victims were expected to shut up and move on, was deeply unjust for young women. Feminists are absolutely right to want that to change. But the reality is that creating a safe and welcoming atmosphere on campus involves more than coming down like a ton of bricks on any young man accused of crossing the line. It involves much more adult leadership and guidance about responsible sexual behavior, and it involves a deeper commitment to the moral leadership and development of youth than most academics are comfortable thinking about.

Minding the Campus has a good article by the leaders of FIRE on how to defeat campus censorship:

It’s no longer a matter of much debate that America’s college campuses are not the beacons of free and open discussion they were intended to be. In its 14 years of existence, our organization, the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), has documented hundreds of cases of gross abuses of students’ and faculty members’ fundamental rights. More than sixty percent of America’s largest and most prestigious colleges have speech codes that are either unconstitutional (at public universities) or directly contradict promises of free speech (at private universities).

The two authors of this piece come from different political and personal perspectives. One is a liberal and an atheist (Lukianoff), the other a conservative evangelical Christian (Shibley). Our combined decades of work as president and senior vice president of FIRE have convinced us that the groupthink and the pressure to conform, be silent, or talk solely to those with whom you already agree that is fostered by the culture and rules of the modern campus is destructive to students, our educational system, and our society as a whole.

So what can people who recognize the importance of free speech on campus do about it?

Read their six steps to get some ideas.

Over at College Insurrection , Professor Jacobson explains why men are staying away from the college campus:

The media often wonders why young men are staying away from universities and colleges. Perhaps the hostile environment on campuses is part of the reason.

Universities, protected by law and compelled by a directive from the Obama Department of Education, have established a kangaroo campus court system in which young men regularly face life-changing quasi-judicial proceedings based on accusations of sexual misconduct at which they have little due process protection.

At College Insurrection we highlighted one such case at Brown University, University without shame: How Brown betrayed one of its students.

But these cases take place regularly as documented by The FIRE organization.

Jacobson makes a good point: “On campuses, there is a very real war on men, but few seem to care.”

This is an important point that needs to be explored. Men on campus are afraid to speak up and with good reason. Even Warren Farrell, author of The Myth of Male Power was stifled by radical feminists at the University of Toronto when trying to talk about men’s rights.

When I was speaking to men about college for my book, I found that many did not want their names used and were afraid that there would be repercussions if their identity was known. I use the word afraid because that is what it is. Men don’t want to think of themselves as fearful, many deny that anything is happening and don’t feel the need to fight back. Instead, they stick their head in the sand and call this “bravery” or “not wanting to seem like a victim.” But they are victims of kangaroo courts and angry feminists regardless of their denial.

The discrimination will continue because there is no push back. If 5-10 percent of men fought back, stood up and started realizing that men’s rights are human rights and that they are not victims for daring to believe that their voices in gender and reproductive equality are just as important as a woman’s is, then maybe things will start to change. Until then, the kangaroo courts and angry feminists will have their day.

As you can see from the screenshot above, Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters made it up to #73 on Amazon. Thank you for your support!

My publisher let me know that my book is ready for pre-order at Amazon. I would very much appreciate it if readers could help me get the book up in the Amazon rankings as this results in advance orders for the book. I was told that men would not buy a book about gender issues or men’s rights but I believe that is incorrect. Men don’t buy these books because they are generally critical of men and look at gender issues through the eyes of women. Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters is a book about men, how they feel, what they think and how they have reached the point of opting out of marriage, college and other aspects of American society. It is a book about many of you –the readers of this blog and the insights you have given me over the years.  I thank all of you for that.

It is important to bring men’s issues, rights and concerns into the mainstream. Please help me to do this by purchasing a copy of the book. I may not be the best person for this job but I am here and trying to get the word out. Please support the book and men’s rights–even if you just use the book as a door-stop, buying it will let the publishing world know that there are men (and women) who care about men’s issues.

You can pre-order my book Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by clicking on this link. Thanks!

Update: I see the book is up to #377 on Amazon and #1 in Men’s Gender Studies. Thanks so much –let’s try to get it to #1 on Amazon: it will then be hard for the mainstream to ignore.

A number of you had written to let me know that Helen’s Page was difficult to use or not working properly. It was being beta tested for a period and for the time being, it is off-line. I may or may not restore it at some point but the technical issues were beyond my ability to deal with and were very costly to fix or improve.

I appreciate everyone who came to Helen’s Page and shared their information and liberty-minded ideas, links and tips with others. I hope we can continue that here in the comment section at PJM!