Dr. Helen

Dr. Helen

Two Dating Mistakes Men Make?

July 8th, 2015 - 9:33 am

Delta Man over at Alpha Game Plan blog discusses two mistakes he sees men making:

Average is 5. Repeat average is 5. Did you read that carefully? Average is 5. I have to drill this into your heads because the two mistakes I see men most commonly make in dating is 1) overrating themselves 2) going for women out of their league.

The mean height of 20-29 year olds is ~5’3” and they weigh ~157 pounds. Think about the fact that that is now average. When’s the last time you were interested in a 5’3” 160 pound woman? If you are constantly going after women with a better height to weight ratio you aren’t going after average, you are going after above average which means you have to be above average yourself to have a shot. Don’t like it? Too bad. That’s average. Think that’s too fat for you? Nobody cares about your opinion. Weren’t people thinner in the past? Yes, but it doesn’t change what they are now. Are you telling me to date fat sluts? No, but be aware that if you want better than this YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER TOO.

I have never cared much for rating systems for who people choose to date. After all, people are complex and they are more than the length of their face, how wide set their eyes are and how much they weigh. That said, if the only people one goes after are those who look a certain way–tall and thin etc., it would limit the amount of dates one could get, so maybe Delta Man’s advice stands.

Any thoughts?

More from Dr. Helen:

I Do Think there is Some Truth to This

That’s what I wondered as I read about Eva Longoria’s response to Donald Trump’s remarks on Latinos:

Eva Longoria is speaking out against Donald Trump.

The actress and political activist weigned in on the presidential candidate’s controversial remarks about Mexicans during my keynote interview with her at the National Association of Latino Independent Producers (NALIP) Media Summit luncheon.

“What I don’t think he understands and what people don’t understand is words create emotional poison,” Longoria said. “That’s what they do, they create emotional poison.

“Hitler moved a nation with words, just words,” she continued. “So you have to expect this backlash. If you say something like that, as he has said, you must expect a backlash.”

Longoria said she has been hesitant to comment on Trump because she didn’t want to give him any more attention

If words are so dangerous, then why is it okay to boy bash, male bash and mentally abuse men in our society? Where is the backlash against these harmful words and actions?

More from Dr. Helen: 

What’s with the Nihilistic Libertarians?

I Do Think there is Some Truth to This

July 5th, 2015 - 7:41 am

The Washington Post: How the internet is ruining your memory.

But now, that information is just a click or swipe away. And that’s making us worse at remembering things, according to academic research on the topic.

One journal article, published in Science in 2011, found that when people expect to have access to information online they are less likely to remember the actual facts, but more likely to remember how to find them.

In effect, we are already becoming one with the machine: “We are becoming symbiotic with our computer tools, growing into interconnected systems that remember less by knowing information than by knowing where the information can be found,” according to the Science article.

I do feel that my memory is getting worse at a rapid pace. Sure, some of it might be age-related but 8 hours a day on technology cannot be good for one’s memory. I need to go to one of those tech addiction rehab camps and break the habit but I can’t get off the internet long enough to go. On the other hand, the internet is a wonder and amazing and has been a great benefit to all of us in so many ways that a bad memory is a small price to pay.

Student Sugar Babies Increase 1200%

July 3rd, 2015 - 6:15 am

News alert:

Investment Watch reports:

As noted previously, we are in a new dark age where college does not pay. At $1.3 trillion, the student debt balance is not getting any smaller. Facing a lifetime of debt slavery, the millennial generation is doing whatever they can to avoid homelessness. Whether it’s stripping or working at Rent A Gent, all options are on the table. Now, they are flocking to Seeking Arrangement to prostitute themselves so they can pay for school. Since 2009, the number of student sugar babies has increased by 1,200%!
The labor force participation rate for college graduates has been on a relentless downtrend.

Interestingly, it’s not just women who are sugar babies, though they are the majority: “Facing enormous bills, they turn to sites like Seeking Arrangement for help. These aren’t just women either. 15% of student sugar babies are men, and plenty of sugar mommas are on the site too.”

More from Dr. Helen: 

What’s with the Nihilistic Libertarians?

I have been listening to local radio in the car lately while driving and I have noticed that there seem to be more libertarian types on these days (at least locally). However, these “libertarians” seem to have a nihilistic view of the world that is troubling. I like guys like Neal Boortz who have focus and ideas that make sense and are driven by freedom and love of liberty. This new crop seems to be a pack of lefty nihilists who shift with the wind and whose ideas are driven by the popularity of the moment and by anyone under the age of 35.

Case in point. There was some guy filling in for our local afternoon radio host here in Knoxville who was taking calls about gay marriage, the confederate flag, and other issues of the past few weeks. He gave his two cents worth that the only thing that mattered these days was the opinion of younger people between 18-32. Whatever they thought was how politics would be driven. He basically told the older listeners who called in that no one cared what they thought if they were 60. “You wouldn’t want the country run for 60 year olds when you were 35,” he stupidly uttered. “Since when has politics in this country been run for the people of any age,” I wondered.

He made the point that Millennials don’t care about the confederate flag, want gay marriage and as long as they didn’t care about an issue or wanted policies changed was all that mattered. I am paraphrasing here but he also said something along the lines of the only thing that matters in politics is money and each party was just trying to get some. Really? Many times politics is driven by power, particularly on the Democratic side. And if only money mattered, wouldn’t this idiot shut up since I bet the majority of his listeners are over 35 and buy way more advertising products than the non-existent audience he has under 35.

This ageist went on to say that the only thing that mattered to young people now was where they could support their families and where they could get a good job. If that is the case, then he shouldn’t be pushing for such nihilistic positions. He should be telling younger people who are into social issues that economic ones matter too. And people over 35 are the ones shouldering the burden of supporting families, not those under 35, many of whom have no family.

Anyway, these nihilistic left-leaning libertarian types are annoying. Has anyone else noticed this trend?

CNBC: Men work longer, women complain more: Survey

Still, the survey shows that women are more “type-A” about it, and they are more likely to complain about the extra hours and feeling burned out. Men, however, were more likely just eat it and shut up, continuing to work after they got home on weeknight and weekends.

Of course, this money article at US News & World Report has the typical response to this question:

Even as society closes gender gaps in parenting, marriage and the workplace, we’re still pretty convinced that men and women are innately different in some ways. One 2013 study from Penn Medicine illustrated neurological differences between the sexes. For instance, the study found men tend to be better at performing a single task that’s in front of them, like navigating directions, while women have better multitasking and social cognition skills.

Studies like these back up male-female differences that may have intuited long before now. Still, basic differences in how we interact with the world shouldn’t mean that one gender is worse off when it comes to money. But, unfortunately, that’s what we see.

A 2015 National Debt Relief survey of 1,107 adults with credit card debt revealed some interesting differences between the sexes. In the survey, the main difference between men and women was the amount of credit card debt they carried.

For instance, 63 percent of women ages 18 to 24 carried some credit card debt, but only 36 percent of men in that age category had any debt. Similarly, 66 percent of women ages 55 to 64 carried credit card debt, but only 33 percent of men in that age bracket had credit card debt.

So why the split, and what can women do about these troubling statistics?

Adam Tijerina, consumer advocate for National Debt Relief, says several potential reasons for this gender gap exist. However, he speculates that the most likely culprit is that women are still paid less than men.

The only national relief Adam Tijerina is looking for is relief from being attacked by feminists or others who think that it is discrimination, not the women using the credit cards who are responsible for their own debt. Sure, the article makes a lame stab at admitting that there are other reasons women might be in debt besides their “unequal” pay, but there is little elaboration. Women control most of the money in the U.S., but somehow, they are in credit card debt because of lack of cash? It makes little sense.

Okay readers, I know this is just clickbait, but Right Wing News has announced the 20 Hottest Conservative Women in New Media and I must say the judges have good taste. You can view their choices here.

Crime is not random. Victims are chosen.

June 24th, 2015 - 9:58 am

So says Rory Miller in his new book on violence entitled Conflict Communication: A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication. From the book description:

This book presents a functional taxonomy to see, understand and manipulate the roots of life’s conflicts. You will have the background, the principles, and a collection of tricks to manage and ideally avoid dangerous conflicts.

You may not realize that your reactions to conflict are subconscious, scripted, and for the good of the group. Once recognized, you can take actions that will reduce your chances of being caught up in conflicts.

After reading this book, you can never go back. Even if you refuse to admit how often your monkey brain has controlled your life, escalations leading to conflict will never again be invisible to you.

The author served as a veteran corrections officer for 17 years as an officer and sergeant working maximum security, booking, and mental health. Predators, he says, choose victims who satisfy their needs at an acceptable level of risk. Some predators are working to get money or taking something from a victim that can be turned into money. Others are addicted to different types of thrills, and hence look for big men to beat up, women they can make cry or they need to hurt someone who looks like their mother.

The book gives the reader tactics, tools, and techniques to help manage conflict when in a dangerous or violent situation or just confronted with a difficult co-worker. But it is better to avoid violence in the first place. The book essentially teaches you how not to be that chosen victim but explains what to do if you are to deescalate the situation. He teaches how to set boundaries, work from common ground and build rapport.

I was a bit perturbed by Miller’s constant stereotypes about what nasty asses men were and how women seemed to be victims rather than perps in most examples, but overall, the book has some decent communication tips for those readers who want to have a few verbal tricks to use next time they meet up with unexpected conflict.

June 23rd, 2015 - 5:56 am

Vox Day interviews Roosh:

And I look at what the media and the universities are showing us now and I see Bruce Jenner being celebrated for being mentally ill, and I think I am going insane here! It doesn’t make sense why this is happening. We are living in a weird time and it scares me. I’m not even there in the USA and I am thinking that maybe on the ground it is not that bad, but then I go there to visit and it is that bad. People are now reciting talking points that five years ago I would have said are weird. Now it is part of the general audience and in how they act. Now people are calling everything sexist. I remember in the US last year, I heard a woman use the word microaggression and I thought that was a joke the first time I heard it. Now it is becoming common and I am thinking, man, I don’t know how it is getting here and I wish I could stop it but I can’t. (Laughs) What we have to do as men is hold on. This is not going to end well.