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Dr. Helen

November 15th, 2013 - 10:43 am

The Christian Science Monitor has an interesting article entitled “Muscle and meanness: Incognito hazing comes down to ‘What’s a real man?’”:

ATLANTA — What Miami Dolphins offensive tackle Richie Incognito did to fellow offensive lineman Jonathan Martin – use a racial slur, disparage his mother – quickly made him either the most hated hazer in sports or the epitome of a dying breed, the unapologetic man’s man…..

But many have rushed to Incognito’s defense, blaming Martin for failing to resolve the matter inside the locker room, and for not just punching back twice as hard at Incognito to assert dominance.

“If Incognito did offend him racially, that’s something you have to handle as a man!” one anonymous NFL-er told Sport Illustrated’s Jim Martin.

In the same vein, the push to root out hazing in the NFL comes up against a broader complaint about what some have called the “wussification” of American society, to the point where, according to books like Helen Smith’s “Men on Strike”, men are increasingly boycotting college and relationships because America has become “anti-male.”

What is your take on the debate here, do you do think that Incognito deserves the hatred or is he an “unapologetic man’s man?”

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All Comments   (10)
All Comments   (10)
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This dumb media event/saga is about bullying gladitorial NFL muscle into middle class respectability.

The analog would be the many Three Stooges episodes where the society snobs try to make the nincompoops into upstanding gentlemen.

People are generally better off not seeing how sausage is made.

For crying out loud, "football is legalized assault" (legendary sportswriter Bert Sugar).
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
Here's an aspect to the debate no one has thought about. Simply put: a PROFESSIONAL organization does NOT tolerate, let alone encourage, hazing or harassment. Such has no place among PROFESSIONALS. The NFL likes to think of itself as a PROFESSIONAL fuuutball league. Yet the sophomoric antics among players continue and are all too often winked at.

Martin should have pounded Incognito into the ground for the hazing. Then Incognito could at last have lived up to his last name and kept quiet in the future.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
It's a nonissue and a nonstory. It's just boys being boys.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
Somehow, when something happens to a man, he is supposed to handle it all by himself with no help at all. But when something happens to a woman(even if from another woman), then the whole system is at fault and everybody especially the men who did not protect the victim woman are at fault. Just shows the double standards that still exist in society.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
Incognito is a bully. Period.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
I don't consider Incognito a man's man. I think he's a jerk. Some of the reports I've read indicate that the coaches intstructed him to "toughen up" Martin, so ultimately the responsibility for what happened lies with them. Incognito took it way too far and got way out of line. It's the players' responsibility to police the locker room, and they should have intervened before the situation got out of control. That's what a man's man would have done, but obviously there aren't any on the Dolphin's squad.

My idea of a man's man is Bob Lilly, one of the greatest defensive linemen to ever play the game. Once, on the plane back home after a loss, one of the offensive players was making jokes and laughing about it. Bob Lilly didn't say anthing. He didn't call him out. He certainly didn't use racial slurs or disparaging remarks about his mother. No, he quietly decided that he has was going to punish him in practice. And he did. Every play, every practice, Lilly went out of his way to hit that player hard, to make him understand there's nothing funny about losing. That's how it's done.

Bob Lilly is the nicest, most polite man you'll ever meet off the field. You just don't want to be the one lined up against him on the field, because he was unstoppable. It took at least three men to block him. The man was a football player, a distinguished Ring of Honor and Hall of Fame member. He is the epitome of the gentleman athelete.

Incognito is nothing of the sort. He's a wannabe gangsta punk. But ultimately this is a team-wide problem. The coaches lost control of the roster. The players lost control of the locker room. And, as a result, Miami is now without two linemen, with no backups to replace them. The Dolphins also aren't winning very many football games. So it's just bad all around.

This isn't about hazing. This isn't about bullying. This isn't about the wussification of the country. It's about a bad situation that became a worse situation, because there were no men's men to intervene.

You'll never get rid of hazing in the NFL. Rookies come into the league feeling entitled, but the veterans know better. Putting rookies in their place is part of the veteran players' job, and they take it seriously because they want to win.

Sometimes it becomes personal, and players take it too far. That happens, but it is not emblematic of the culture of the locker room. It's an example that some guys are just jerks and some locker rooms are dysfunctional.

What is emblematic of the wussification of the country is that most are blaming Martin for this incident, as if it's his fault that he couldn't or wouldn't put up with harrassment. He's a sissy boy. You're only a man if you fight back.

First, harrassment at this level shouldn't occur to begin with. And it normally doesn't, not in any locker room policed by men's men. Second, the idea that men habitually harrass other men, and women for that matter, is an indication that this culture has forgotten what it means to be a man. Third, the era of the gentleman athelete is over. And the culture explains it away be denigrating real men at every level. That's what I would call wussification.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
From wikipedia.
J. Martin has two hahvard parents and an extended hahvard family. Attended high end, prestigious schools in LA. Attended Stanford on a football scholarship, leaving after three years for the NFL. Aparently not a scholar.

He plays at 312 lbs.

He is #63 of 69 NFL starting tackles.

His career is not going all that well. He no longer gets the smiley faces he got in school and at home. Mommy and daddy cannot purchase his success. Production, as measured by hard performance statistics, are what matters in professional football.

Sounds like he needs to build the case that his 'emotional' distress is somebody else's fault, for surely as the sun rises the next draft will see Miami pick a guard with potential to exceed #63.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm still not sure what really happened. BUT, there's a difference between hazing and wussification. Picking on people in the locker room doesn't make you a man's man, it makes you a bully, jerk or obnoxious dumbass. When you're well over 300 lbs, even other 300 pounders are ill advised to get in a real fight with you. People could die, literally. Imagine what one solid blow from Incognito or Martin could do to the other guy. Ever notice when there's a fight on the football field and an Offensive lineman steps in to break it up, the fights over? There's a reason for that. Those guys are just too damned big and strong to be fighting against, even if you're one of them.
Plus, if you're the new guy on the block, like Martin, you want to be fitting in and being part of the team, not in locker room fights.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
Late reply, but I you're right.

There is a difference between hazing and bullying and the difference is due to comradery. Some of my best friends from college would engaging in disparaging remarks, etc. (never in a mean tone, but as jokes), but we all knew that when push-came-to-shove, those guys would back me up and help me if needed.

Society has slowly dismantled the institutions where boys/young men were able to form lasting friendships, so what we have now is bullying: the hazing but without the bonds formed beforehand.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
It's fuuutbawl. I don't give a damn what these over-paid thugs and prima-donnas do.
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
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