As an australian holder of a green card (and long-time NYC resident), I find it almost impossible to get on a plane these days without being searched, scanned, sniffed and de-shoed.
Why? I’m 53, never been arrested, courteous, clean and never travel with anything that resembles a fuse protruding from any pocket or orifice. If you were to draw up a terrorist profile, I would fit so few criteria that it wouldn’t be worth giving me a second glance — maybe not even a first.
So why do I get searched EVERY time?
Here’s my theory: As a foreigner, I help the TSA meet its quota of “random” searches. Moreover, as I’m not a Muslim, each search bolsters the stats these bureaucrats need to cover their asses.
“Look here,” they can tell the next congressional panel, “we search balding, middle-aged white Catholics, not just those Muslims (who are so easy to offend.)”
Thanks, TSA, for adding to my CV. Now, in addition to all my other attributes, I’m also a statistical justification for billions of dollars wasted on a security program that is as useles as it is costly.
