I may have a unique perspective to this discussion (at least I’ve never seen it before and I’ve never shared it publicly until now):
I have experienced every side of the abortion/birth/adoption debate (I am now a 50-something-year-old male btw):
1. baby out-of-wedlock in high school (early 70s) and put up for adoption.
2. pregnant girlfriend in college who chose an abortion (late 70s).
3. later married (early 80s) and 3 wonderful children (now all college-aged).
4. wife became unexpectedly pregnant in her 40s (with twins) but crushingly did not survive to term.
I won’t go into much, but being young in the 70s post-Roe era I can remember the relief that abortion was made legal by the Supreme Court. Of course, I’m a horny young guy who wants to chase women with no accountability or responsibility too.
I would consider myself pro-choice up until maybe 5 years ago when I started questioning this stance (secondlookproject.org).
What got me re-considering was this: I started thinking about the daughter that I/we had put up for adoption 30-some years ago. I found myself noticing her birthdate and calculating her age each year. I found myself wondering about her and if she had ever contacted her birthmother. I found myself wanting to meet her. I found myself putting myself into adoption registries. I found myself trying to find her birthmother to see if she had ever been in contact. I found myself also wondering….
…..about the aborted child in college, and asking myself: are we (am I) better off because we aborted that baby? And my answer was NO. A resounding NO. An unhesitating NO.
Yes it was a difficult situation at the time, but really, nothing we couldn’t have survived and thrived with …. we were young and dumb, and frankly, just “couldn’t be bothered” (not proud of this just the immaturity reality of youth) and, well, the abortion clinic was “conveniently” 30 minutes away and very well-known by students.
So was the abortion the best choice? As I look back I think no. I would much rather have that person around now, whether by keeping him/her or being put up for adoption. Is the world a better place without that child? I think not.
The whole 70s was “my body, my self” run amok, but I do understand the mentality back then since I was living it. There were indeed women dying from backroom abortions and there was indeed a harsh religious and familial shaming of women who found themselves pregnant (men were pretty much off the hook). This was the roiling times of “women’s liberation.” So Roe was understandable if nothing else (in hindsight I now see it as an affront to the Constitution—the states should decide abortion laws IMO—but if you wanted to chase girls with lowered moral accountability it was a great decision).
I saw some stats recently on # of abortions in the U.S. since abortion was legalized and the # of illegal immigrants now in the country. Is it a coincidence that both of these #s are in the 30 million range? (30 million!). It seems we’re killing our own country (literally) with our ho-hum abortion polices (and would Martin Luther King, Jr. REALLY be proud of the # of black babies aborted over the last 30 years??).
But now you’ll have to excuse me….I have a “little” girl that I need to find….
