Huh. There weren’t any responsible, level-headed, financially viable 20 year old males ready to commit when I was 16-20 and nubile (there weren’t even any of those type of males ready to commit who were OLDER than me, let alone my age). And there were a few interested (in pretty much one thing only, but like I said, there weren’t any responsible, etc, etc…)
When I did find a responsible, level-headed, financially viable male (who also happened to be a wonderful guy–good looking and virile, too, even though he wasn’t 16), it took four years for him to commit, and he was 32 when we married (I was 28.) It’s a two-way street–it’s ridiculous to blow raspberries at the 35-year old careerist, feminist stereotype, all the while giving yourselves hearty back slaps and evolutionarily excusing yourselves for ogling teenagers who are just as interesting to you for their lack of complexity (which requires less maturity and work on your part) as they are for their “perkiness”, shall we say. And no, this doesn’t just come from my observation; I once asked my husband about the attraction guys have toward the young, flighty types (regardless of actual intelligence), and he told me they were “fun” and guys didn’t have to work so hard. That’s fine, for a fling, but a fling is not what you all are implying in your talk of evolution and onset of puberty, you are talking about when people are actually biological able to live together and start families. Which, while youth is fine, “flighty” is not. If you marry the fling, best of luck to you, but I’m so sorry. We are not mere animals to be rutting and dropping babies about, we ought to be picking mates carefully and committing to spouses and children. Regardless of what your religious beliefs are. So look all you want, but at least stop making excuses for it and saying immature remarks about older women.
I’m almost 35. I had my first kid at 31 (the ogling stopped about the time I started having babies; no matter how much I run, things just aren’t as “perky” as they used to be. Funny how my husband doesn’t seem to mind that I’m “old”, but I guess he a.) loves and is attracted to me and b.) is a grown up.) I was career oriented because I wanted to do something important with my life (I joined the military) and because, gee, Dad wasn’t going to support me for my entire life while I stayed at home, baked cookies and mended family linens. I’m not even remotely feminist (I left active duty two months after my oldest was born and am now a stay at home mom), but you guys are implying (pretty sure that’s not what you actually WANT) young ladies should be focused completely on finding a man to marry from the time they are physically able of bearing children, which is EXACTLY the type of behavior that will also make a good many of you SCREAM in fright and run away, run away until you’re finally moved out of your parents’ house around say, age 30. See, I can blow raspberries at stereotypes, too.
Come ON. You are grown MEN. Act like it. I get that you like what you see–that’s natural–but just remember that these girls are sisters and daughters, not “pubescent, nubile, and evolutionarily ready” “women” (ie, objects). I’m sure a few of you have sisters and daughters, too, and you KNOW how guys think. So do us parents of daughters a favor and at least try to remember that the next time you find yourself panting after some young thing or describing some young thing as you guys have been describing them. Someday that sixteen year old is going to be MY CHILD. And yes, my husband is totally normal, but he’s also now a father (and a terrific one). He’s got his shotgun ready–10 years will go by fast and he wants to be prepared. I think the universal protectiveness of fathers for their daughters is probably evolutionary, too, somehow, if you believe in that sort of thing.
