Then, she was on me again when I woke and up and ordered me to be still and be quiet or she’d accuse me of rape. THAT IS RAPE, not something called “drunken manipulation” which sounds like something you may done before, given your need to invalidate my experience.
I know that sucked and it was a bad position to be put in. I am glad you have shared your story because if you notice in the comments, many people have heard similar stories and dismissed them. I myself heard relayed one that I always thought was suspect and I am rethinking it now. I agree that everything that happened when you were unconscious was rape.
But it’s not unreasonable to draw a line and call blackmail blackmail and not rape. You could physically remove yourself at this point, an option most women don’t have when faced with a similar situation. I personally would draw the rape line at the point when you are either physically incapable of getting away or you are reasonably threatened with violence if you try to get away. You were in a different situation (at this point, not before) and I don’t think you should take people’s disagreement with you about this part personally, because it’s really more about where the line is. Nobody is saying that the women should have done that, it’s pretty terrible and as a woman, it pisses me off, because then whenever a woman says someone raped her, men think of these crazy women and dismiss it. It hurts all of us!
I do think there should probably be some legal name for “drunken manipulation” or whatever we want to call it. Blackmail is already illegal, would that count?
