Dr. Helen: Is Control over Porn Really about Control over Men’s Sexuality?
I hate to break it to you, but nobody handed me a dirty mag when I was 13 and said “go to it”. I had just as much shame as you did, from years of church and feminist dominated-class, distant father, etc. Men don’t get a free pass. Believe me, I spent many years bitter over this, looking for someone to blame.
But you know, in the end, it wasn’t anyone’s job to figure out my own sexuality but my own. I had to figure out how to attract the opposite sex and take rejection, despite constant feminist pressure that I was somehow attempting rape by merely by saying “hi” to women. This is not hyperbole, I felt this way, and I could only medicate it away with alcohol. Women usually don’t have this problem, but you *do* similarly have to figure out what pleases yourself. And it’s *your* job. We can help, but we can’t do it for you if you don’t want it to happen.
We both were in prison — but only we can let ourselves out.
