How does being bisexual work? Is it half the time you are attracted to men and repulsed by women and vice versa? Or are you equally attracted to both sexes at all times (how about a 70-30 split?) Is there a bisexual gene? Or is it just a wacky commitment problem? Do bisexuals have trouble making up their minds about everything else as well? Are all bisexuals political moderates unable to choose a party? If a male bisexual marries a woman and sleeps with another man is that considered adultery or is he “just keeping it real” and “being true to himself”? If a bisexual man marries a woman and they have a child, does the child have a dad and two mommies? (Or is that a transgendered thing? It’s hard keeping up.) Do bisexuals only support 50% of the gay agenda? Is it possible that Brett Favre recently became a bisexual because he seems to have such a hard time determining whether he should retire? Do “male” bisexuals ever get confused and refer to a male partner in the feminine and a female partner in the masculine? If so, does the male partner hold you closer and does the female partner slap you in the face? Is the bisexual theme song “Love the One You’re With”, “Both Sides Now”, or “Dazed and Confused”? On second thought, bisexuals probably cannot come to a decision on a song. Do two bisexuals make a whole? Finally, how many bisexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: It depends on whether they’re in the mood to screw or be screwed.
