“The next time we go to war, let’s just not tell liberals about it. We’ll tell them we listened closely to their rhyming chants and were quite impressed by their papier-mâché puppets and thus decided to give peace a chance and whatnot. And then we’ll go through with the war and only let Fox News cover it and distract the other networks by framing a celebrity for murder or something.”
What do you mean “next time?” That’s what happened “last time.” But you got one part of your formula wrong; the distraction part. You see, it was Fox News that devoted 12 times more coverage to Anna Nicole Smith than to Walter Reed, mirroring their approach to covering the war in general. Why? Because we weren’t greeted as liberators. We weren’t paying for the war with Iraqi oil. Liberals knew that “It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months” was complete bulls***, as was “We know where the (WMDs) are, north, south, east and west of Bagdhad.” And when two thirds of the American people got fed up and turned against this misbegotten right wing circle jerk, what did Dick Cheney say? “So what?”
Tell you what, here’s a better idea. You little boys can still play war, but stick with Civl War re-enactments. Save our troops and our treasure for genuine causes. And when real war is necessary, we’ll all support it . . . . wait . . . excuse me, I hear the public address system with an important announcement . . . “Mr. Hannity, your waterboard is ready . . . paging Mr. Hannity, Mr. Sean Hannity, we’re ready to fulfill your pledge to charity by getting waterboarded . . . . Nothing to worry about . . . just a “little splash of water” as you say . . . paging Mr. Hannity.”
Apparently war is too serious to involve conservatives, too.
