78 rachel peepers . . . Ooh, this is good:
“But Rachel no longer can wait. I, we, insist that these purveyors of deceit resign and not let the door hit them on the way out.
Either that, or Americans may come into your offices, grab you by the scruff of the neck, and throw you out. I know your knee jerk reaction will be to call the police, but come a date certain, our own exit strategy for you goes into effect. Federal enforcement authorities, and this should scare you to the bottom of your lying feet, are on a date certain, answerable only to the people. Not government liars and cheaters, but to the people.”
First, let me applaud you referring to yourself in third person. Narcissists around the world salute you. Second, I look forward to seeing your true self on TV as they haul you off in cuffs after you, they, storm the offices on Capitol Hill.
Pray, do tell, what is this date certain that you and the “federal enforcement authorities” await? Let me guess . . . 12/12/12. Oooooooh. It’s some numerically numberish. Or maybe 10/11/12 . . . ooooooh it’s so sequential . . . . Wait! . . . 11/11/12 . . . together they add up to . . . wait, 1 + 1, carry the 6 plus 12 minus the coefficient of Glenn Beck’s IQ times the number of Palin lies today equals . . . . . . 34! And we all know what that means don’t we? Yes, it’s the trinary equivalent of the midpoint of the Secession Solstice in the Zoroastrian Calendar of the Dead. Yes! It’s perfect. I can’t wait. Move over, Dan Brown, Rachel Peepers coming through!
By the way, what exactly is a “federal enforcement authority?” It’s not that kid down the street with the primered black Camaro is it? The one on probation for syphoning gas? Wait, I got it, it’s conservative wonderer and misteranthropicus dressed up in cammo and berets and carrying a backpack full of dehydrated water, Wheat Thins, and a couple back issues of Hustler. Stunning! I’m sure they’ll be trained and ready to heed your call.
First the vague ambiguous “cause” now followed up by a vague and ambiguous “date certain.” Now THAT is what I call leadership. “I can’t tell you what we’re doing or when we’re doing it, but trust me, it’ll be huge.” You sound like Charles Whitman. No doubt you’ll find the tallest tower in Washington and launch your revolution from there. It’s got good optics. Well done.
Hail Rush. Go Sarah!
