PJ Media

The independent review committee has already been announced, and is composed of individuals whose intellectual brilliance, scientific knowledge and integrity are unquestioned: Sheryl (one-piece-of-toilet-paper-per-dump) Crow, Andy (who can we beat up today) Stern, the Governator himself, and the unsinkable Leonardo DiCapria. The chairman has yet to be chosen but must have the unimpeachable objectivity that might be demonstrably earned by someone who has, at minumum, won at least one Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize.

This exhaustive review is expected to take at least twice as long as the OJ jury.