I’ve been a foster dad to many troubled kids over the last few years. We’ve had kids diagnosed with depression, bipolar, ADD, ADHD, substance addiction, RAD, OCD, ODD (GOD I hate that one) and others. Nearly all of them so far have been girls, for reasons that aren’t quite clear to me, but whatever.
When you’re dealing with kids like this, it doesn’t take much to set them off. I’ve heard a LOT of threats of suicide over this time, but I’ve developed a pretty fine sense of when they mean it. I would NOT be able to tell if a kid was in a bad way by the words they type in a written message. You just can’t have that good an idea where a kid is at without being able to observe them in person. This is the very reason emoticons were invented…to give a more blatant way to indicate happy, sad, kidding, etc.
I would not presume to pass judgement on this woman myself, without finding out a LOT more information that doesn’t seem to have been released publicly. What was her role in the girl’s life before this whole incident? Did they have any kind of relationship, adversarial or not? How aware was she that this girl was depressed, and did she have an understanding that clinical depression is nothing to mess with? Many people have no clue that threats of suicide from a teen can be much more than drama.
All that said, the woman’s despicable, and would not be allowed near any child I was responsible for. But criminal responsibility? I have a hard time with that.
As a foster dad, let’s say I hug one of our girls when she’s feeling down, and tell her I love her and it’ll be okay.
A week later, the social workers and cops show up on our doorstep, take away all kids living in our house, all their stuff, strip our fostering license and take me away in cuffs for sexual assault. Sound farfetched? It’s not. I’ve spoken to several people who have lived this sort of thing. They did no wrong (and quite a bit right) and almost had their lives destroyed as a result.
There are AT LEAST two sides to every story, particularly when it involves troubled kids. I haven’t heard enough of the woman’s side yet to outright condemn her.
