I can’t say how many times I started to comment, then changed what I was going to say.
My first husband cheated and wanted to be with his girlfriend – then when she broke up with him he “wanted his family back”. We were married 5 years.
My second husband portrayed himself as something 180 degrees from what he was. In spite of his dishonesty we were married for over 10 years, as I did not want my second child to go through what my first experienced. Naturally, everything that was wrong in our marriage was/is my fault. And he is the one that is constantly dragging us back into court. Which is the worst possible thing one can do to a child – my younger daughter suffers from depression and has been under a therapist’s care for the past two years due to all the “pressure”, even though my ex and I have 50/50.
I’m on my third marriage – and this time I think we’ve got it right. I was the one with more baggage – my second ex is not easy to deal with. My husband has three kids and he and his ex at least have a working “kids first” relationship. The only issue there is that his ex has never once actually spoken to me, even though we have been married for 3 years.
I’m sure that there were things I could have done in my second marriage to save it – but I don’t think those things would have been worth the sacrifice of who I am. And I have to say, when my divorce was finalized, I was THRILLED. I had mourned my marriage years earlier.
I absolutely adore my husband and try to show him frequently how special I think he is. He is a wonderful man, fabulous father, and I am the most fortunate woman in the world for having him in my life. Do we have issues? Of course we do. But we can at least agree to disagree. And I can’t tell you what a relief it is to be married to someone who can understand that just because I disagree with his opinion doesn’t mean I don’t love him.
Everyone has baggage. It’s how you deal with it.
