Roger S you wrote:
I once knew a woman, as a casual friend (she has sort of disappeared), who must have run through around a dozen relationships during the one year period I knew her. She got upset with me when I mentioned that she had a habit of talking about each guy as THE catch, and then constantly raising her bar of expectations until he failed to jump over the next level. My take was that raising the bar was her way of making sure there was no way she would have to take the risk of a real relationship, but always had a great excuse why each person simply wasn’t right for her.
Which reminded me of something from a classic bit of Americana and got me wondering if American women weren’t always a little like this:
Marian:
Mama!
Do you think that I’d allow a common masher–
Now, really Mama!
I have my standards where men are concerned,
And I have no intention–
Mrs. Paroo:
I know all about your standards
And if you don’t mind my sayin’ so
There’s not a man alive
Who could hope to measure up to that blend’a
Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat and Noah Webster
You’ve got concocted for yourself outta your Irish imagination,
Your Iowa stubbornness, and your liberry fulla’ books!
I stumbled on this part of Pajamas Media from another site and as a recently divorced (for the second time) guy I am really getting a quick down and dirty serious education from Dr. Helen and all of the commenters on this site.
I have TRIED to be that oh-so-sensitive guy to please women and all I ever got for my troubles is to be treated like furniture. And yeah, a lot of the stereotypes are rooted in fact. I married an architect and that meant I had NO SAY in anything that went into the house. I’d come home and there would be new drapes in the bedroom. Not so much as a bye-your-leave for my opinion. And if I objected! Oh my. I have not the expertise or style savvy to have an opinion that need be taken seriously.
And she always hated my guns and my love of shooting. Resented every penny I spent on any of my hobbies. Couldn’t question her spending. And yeah, the movie thing too. Sleepless in Seattle over anything I’d like – ALL the time.
But here’s the thing. We got a quickie Iowa divorce that happened too quickie for her good. She has the house and everything in it but Ms. Genius forgot one little detail – getting me to sign a quit claim deed! She’s in for a big surprise when she tries to sell the house! And yes, I want it in cash. So sometimes they do make mistakes that even things out a little.
But God yes, I am a GOOD MAN – I have worked all my life and now own my own small business. I did the VAST majority of the housework, yardwork, cooking, cleaning and shopping. Yeah, yeah, I know, what a sap. I would have done it to the end of time if just once I would have gotten a few words of support and encouragement. That’s all. But that was something she could NEVER give.
It’s simple. I want to find a woman I’d be willing to take a bullet for. And I don’t want to be treated like furniture. Is that so much to ask?
I’m probably violating the Cardinal rule by getting back into the dating pool too soon. But I found a woman online who is Russian from birth (and 2/3rd of her life was spent there), is a molecular biologist and loves James Bond movies. Can you blame me for taking a shot?
